Widgets Magazine
Results 1 to 4 of 4
  1. #1
    Keith Guest

    Default The Resume of Jesus Christ

    The Resume of Jesus Christ

    Address:
    Ephesians 1:20
    Phone:
    Romans 10:13

    Website:
    The Bible. Keywords:Christ, Lord, Savior and Jesus



    Hello. My name is Jesus -The Christ . Many call me Lord! I've sent you my resume because I'm seeking the top management position in your heart. Please consider my accomplishments as set forth in my resume.


    Qualifications

    • I founded the earth and established the heavens, (See Proverbs 3:19)
    • I formed man from the dust of the ground, (See Genesis 2:7)
    • I breathed into man the breath of life, (See Genesis 2:7)
    • I redeemed man from the curse of the law, (See Galatians 3:13)
    • The blessings of the Abrahamic Covenant comes upon your life through me, (See Galatians 3:14)
    Occupational Background
    • I've only had one employer, (See Luke 2:49).
    • I've never been tardy, absent, disobedient, slothful or disrespectful.
    • My employer has nothing but rave reviews for me, (See Matthew 3:15-17)
    Skills Work Experiences
    • Some of my skills and work experiences include: empowering the poor to be poor no more, healing the brokenhearted, setting the captives free, healing the sick, restoring sight to the blind and setting at liberty them that are bruised, (See Luke 4:18).
    • I am Wonderful, Counselor, (See Isaiah 9:6). People who listen to me shall dwell safely and shall not fear evil, (See Proverbs 1:33).
    • Most importantly, I have the authority, ability and power to cleanse you of your sins, (See I John 1:7-9)
    Educational Background
    • I encompass the entire breadth and length of knowledge, wisdom and understanding, (See Proverbs 2:6).
    • In me are hid all of the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, (See Colossians 2:3).
    • My Word is so powerful; it has been described as being a lamp unto your feet and a lamp unto your path, (See Psalms 119:105).
    • I can even tell you all of the secrets of your heart, (See Psalms 44:21).
    Major Accomplishments
    • I was an active participant in the greatest Summit Meeting of all times, (See Genesis 1:26).
    • I laid down my life so that you may live, (See II Corinthians 5:15).
    • I defeated the archenemy of God and mankind and made a show of them openly, (See Colossians 2:15).
    • I've miraculously fed the poor, healed the sick and raised the dead!
    • There are many more major accomplishments, too many to mention here. You can read them on my website, which is located at: www dot - the BIBLE. You don't need an Internet connection or computer to access my website.
    References
    • The great teacher- my father, JEHOVAH (Psalms 83:18)
    • Believers and followers worldwide will testify to my divine healings, salvation, deliverance, miracles, restoration and supernatural guidance


    In Summation

    Now that you've read my resume, I'm confident that I'm the only candidate uniquely qualified to fill this vital position in your heart. In summation, I will properly direct your paths, (See Proverbs 3:5-6), and lead you into everlasting life, (See John 6:47). When can I start? Time is of the essence, (See Hebrews 3:15).


  2. #2
    MadMonk Guest

    Default Re: The Resume of Jesus Christ

    Thank you for your application. Unfortunately, the position has already filled. However, we'll keep your resume on hand for the next six months and if an opening comes up we may call on you.

  3. Default Re: The Resume of Jesus Christ

    The resume needs work--you should never say "I" or "my"

    Haha.
    Still corrupting young minds

  4. #4

    Default Re: The Resume of Jesus Christ

    What we really need to know before we can make a hiring decision is your EEOC information Mr. Christ. Please complete the enclosed survey (marking race, gender, etc.), and return it to us at your earliest convenience.

    Thank you for your courtesy.

    Sincerely,

    HR

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. LifeChurchTV
    By Faith in forum Current Events & Open Topic
    Replies: 670
    Last Post: 07-02-2008, 02:39 PM
  2. Da vinci Code
    By Patrick in forum Current Events & Open Topic
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 08-22-2006, 07:11 AM
  3. In process of "saving" Christmas, many aren't very "Christ-like"
    By PUGalicious in forum Current Events & Open Topic
    Replies: 58
    Last Post: 02-18-2006, 09:40 AM
  4. Opinion of infant baptism/cristening?
    By Patrick in forum Current Events & Open Topic
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 01-05-2005, 09:15 AM
  5. Once Saved always saved?
    By Patrick in forum Current Events & Open Topic
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 12-31-2004, 12:32 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO