Oklahoma the Friendliest, Coldest place on Earth

[stlokc]

I haven't lived in OKC as an adult, so its hard for me to advise. I did, however, move to St. Louis when I was 22 - which is a city that has a reputation of being "cold" and "cliquey" with attitudes much as have been described here. Not a lot of transients, a lot of people who have lived there all their lives with their friendship circles well-established, etc.

Here's what I would say. As adults, we have to be proactive. Friendships don't just happen. I am blessed to have many friends in St. Louis but the way I did it was by being the instigator and by looking for things that interested me. I joined my college alumni association and they host parties and volunteer opportunities and I became a leader in the group. I volunteered on political campaigns. I joined the "Young Friends" groups associated with the art museum and the zoo and served on boards. So my advice would be to pick charitable causes that interest you or seek out groups with which you have something in common. (Do you run? Do you bike? Do you do woodworking? Do you like comic books? Do you love old black and white movies?) OKC has almost 1.5 million people and although I haven't researched it, I am nearly positive that there are hundreds of groups that you could join to meet people.

But, it's not just going to happen. And, with respect, these things don't always correlate to neighborhoods unless your neighborhood is really proactive or it happens by accident. When I was single, my neighborhood in STL was full of people in their 20s and we party-hopped all the time. Now that I'm married and in more of a "mixed age" neighborhood, people are busy with their own lives ... I barely know my neighbors. But that's not anybody's fault really.

[SEMIweather]

I haven't lived in OKC as an adult, so its hard for me to advise. I did, however, move to St. Louis when I was 22 - which is a city that has a reputation of being "cold" and "cliquey" with attitudes much as have been described here. Not a lot of transients, a lot of people who have lived there all their lives with their friendship circles well-established, etc.

Here's what I would say. As adults, we have to be proactive. Friendships don't just happen. I am blessed to have many friends in St. Louis but the way I did it was by being the instigator and by looking for things that interested me. I joined my college alumni association and they host parties and volunteer opportunities and I became a leader in the group. I volunteered on political campaigns. I joined the "Young Friends" groups associated with the art museum and the zoo and served on boards. So my advice would be to pick charitable causes that interest you or seek out groups with which you have something in common. (Do you run? Do you bike? Do you do woodworking? Do you like comic books? Do you love old black and white movies?) OKC has almost 1.5 million people and although I haven't researched it, I am nearly positive that there are hundreds of groups that you could join to meet people.

But, it's not just going to happen. And, with respect, these things don't always correlate to neighborhoods unless your neighborhood is really proactive or it happens by accident. When I was single, my neighborhood in STL was full of people in their 20s and we party-hopped all the time. Now that I'm married and in more of a "mixed age" neighborhood, people are busy with their own lives ... I barely know my neighbors. But that's not anybody's fault really.

This is the correct take IMO. I lived in Moore from 2016-17 and was miserable because my leisure time activities were pretty much limited to watching sports and drinking by myself. Moved to the Paseo in 2018 thinking that being around more people my age would make me happier, and proceeded to continue to be miserable for the next six months because I didn't change anything about my day-to-day lifestyle. Eventually got into the local music scene, met a bunch of interesting people as a result, and was much happier for the next year and a half. Moved to Denver at the beginning of this year and I am now once again isolated and sad, though at least this time it's temporary and due to circumstances out of my control.

I would definitely recommend getting involved in hobbies/scenes that interest you after the pandemic, there will probably never be a better time to meet new people and the internet/social media will never be a good substitute for IRL human interaction. And OKC is a *much* more interesting place than common perceptions would have you believe.

[catch22]

This is the correct take IMO. I lived in Moore from 2016-17 and was miserable because my leisure time activities were pretty much limited to watching sports and drinking by myself. Moved to the Paseo in 2018 thinking that being around more people my age would make me happier, and proceeded to continue to be miserable for the next six months because I didn't change anything about my day-to-day lifestyle. Eventually got into the local music scene, met a bunch of interesting people as a result, and was much happier for the next year and a half. Moved to Denver at the beginning of this year and I am now once again isolated and sad, though at least this time it's temporary and due to circumstances out of my control.

I would definitely recommend getting involved in hobbies/scenes that interest you after the pandemic, there will probably never be a better time to meet new people and the internet/social media will never be a good substitute for IRL human interaction. And OKC is a *much* more interesting place than common perceptions would have you believe.

I live south of you in the Springs - happy to meet up for a beer if you are down this way. I will say Denver is WAYYY more social than the springs. Co Springs is as close to living in OKC as you can be while still having a 14k foot tall mountain 9 miles from your front door.

[PurpleChicken]

I live south of you in the Springs - happy to meet up for a beer if you are down this way. I will say Denver is WAYYY more social than the springs. Co Springs is as close to living in OKC as you can be while still having a 14k foot tall mountain 9 miles from your front door.

Man, I would love to be able to live in Colorado. I'm sure there are much more diverse interests and hobbies available than here in Oklahoma. I think this is probably the problem. The interests, hobbies which resulted in having friends I made over there, don't exist here.

[Pete]

Man, I would love to be able to live in Colorado. I'm sure there are much more diverse interests and hobbies available than here in Oklahoma. I think this is probably the problem. The interests, hobbies which resulted in having friends I made over there, don't exist here.

You have to find your own tribe.

Whatever you're interested in, there are groups here that share it.

What hobbies and interests do you perceive as not available here?

[PurpleChicken]

You have to find your own tribe.

Whatever you're interested in, there are groups here that share it.

What hobbies and interests do you perceive as not available here?

Well let's just say that the interests and hobbies I had in other states do not exist here or are heavily wrapped up only in churches. Mostly nature, hiking, camping, 4wd activities etc. Individual sports and different cultural exposures.

[Pete]

Well let's just say that the interests and hobbies I had in other states do not exist here or are heavily wrapped up only in churches. Mostly nature, hiking, camping, 4wd activities etc. Individual sports and different cultural exposures.

I can't think of a single thing you can't do here other than snow skiing and surfing, even though we *are* getting a surf machine in the next month or so.

For example, I was an avid triathlete in SoCal and there are several groups around here into that sport. They just do their open-water swimming in lakes rather than the ocean. And of course, I swam in many lakes in California anyway.

If you want to provide specifics of what you are looking for, I'm sure people here can help you find it.

[rezman]

Well let's just say that the interests and hobbies I had in other states do not exist here or are heavily wrapped up only in churches. Mostly nature, hiking, camping, 4wd activities etc. Individual sports and different cultural exposures.

Ever been down to the Wichita Mountains and Medicine Park?. Lots of the activities there that you describe. Plus it's beautiful down there and it's only 90 minutes away from OKC by turnpike.

[BoulderSooner]

I can say that in all my working life, I’ve never liked hanging out with people I work with after work. I’ve done special occasions with coworkers, but I would never make a regular thing of it.

with very very few exceptions this has always been my train of thought as well

[PurpleChicken]

I can't think of a single thing you can't do here other than snow skiing and surfing, even though we *are* getting a surf machine in the next month or so.

For example, I was an avid triathlete in SoCal and there are several groups around here into that sport. They just do their open-water swimming in lakes rather than the ocean. And of course, I swam in many lakes in California anyway.

If you want to provide specifics of what you are looking for, I'm sure people here can help you find it.

Come on Pete, you know there's a huge difference between Cali and here regarding individual sports and cultural exposures. Huge. No place here for 4wd/Off road, camping? And driving 90 minutes on a paid toll road for hiking??

Surf machine, paid use?... nothing like the ocean.

In Socal I could be at the beach every day or drive up to Little Saigon for food, hit the Korean area or Hispanic areas for food, pop over any number of beautiful parks, Huntington Beach Library, Goldenwest Swap meets every weekend.

Maybe I'm answering my own questions here.

[Pete]

Get ready for people to provide all types of recs on camping and off-roading. Hiking as well.

OKC has fantastic Korean and Vietnamese options; every bit as good as L.A. Same thing with Mexican and other Latin foods. If you want something modern and eclectic, try Nonesuch or Grey Sweater -- both are L.A.-quaility and you can actually get into them almost any time and pay much less.

Tons of great parks too, of course.

No Huntington Library but there are some good museums here. And the Philbrook and The Gathering Place are only 90 miles away. If you were anywhere near the beach before, then the Hungtington has to be at least as far in terms of drive time.

And no ocean but many, many more lakes everywhere. That is something is very low supply in California and the few there are overrun. You can go sail at Lake Hefner, paddleboard at Overholser, row on the OK River, swim at Arcadia and waterski and powerboat all over the place.. There is also the whitewater facility, of course.


There are answers to all these questions but you first have to be open to them.

[BoulderSooner]

Come on Pete, you know there's a huge difference between Cali and here regarding individual sports and cultural exposures. Huge. No place here for 4wd/Off road, camping? And driving 90 minutes on a paid toll road for hiking??

Surf machine, paid use?... nothing like the ocean.

In Socal I could be at the beach every day or drive up to Little Saigon for food, hit the Korean area or Hispanic areas for food, pop over any number of beautiful parks, Huntington Beach Library, Goldenwest Swap meets every weekend.

Maybe I'm answering my own questions here.

OKC has tremendous authentic ethnic food ..... some of the best in the country

[catch22]

It's not a knock on OKC, but camping, hiking, and offroading in Oklahoma is absolutely not comparable at all to Colorado, Utah, New Mexico, etc. It is available but it just isn't comparable. if those things are important to you, you are simply in the wrong state. I cowboy camp (no tent or shelter) off the back of my motorcycles, I can be at a mountain campsite overlooking Co Springs in 30 minutes, and I can be in complete isolation/wilderness in about an hour. I can choose from high alpine campsites at 12,000 feet well above treeline (great for meteor showers btw) or, down low at 8,000 feet in the forest. I have camped many times away from any cell service and never saw another car or human the entire day and night. And most of those dispersed campsites are completely free and don't require any type of reservations or checking in with anyone. I am sure there are a handful of sites in Oklahoma like that, but if the wilderness is your thing - Oklahoma is not going to compare to the western states where there are literally millions of acres of free wilderness.

Again, that is not an indictment on Oklahoma. That applies to Texas, Kansas, Nebraska, etc.

[Pete]

^

That is a very specific type of camping. For general camping, it's not that different here and with the added benefit of lots of great sites next to lakes and all they offer, which is a tradeoff for states that offer mountains.

[PhiAlpha]

Get ready for people to provide all types of recs on camping and off-roading. Hiking as well.

OKC has fantastic Korean and Vietnamese options; every bit as good as L.A. Same thing with Mexican and other Latin foods. If you want something modern and eclectic, try Nonesuch or Grey Sweater -- both are L.A.-quaility and you can actually get into them almost any time and pay much less.

Tons of great parks too, of course.

No Huntington Library but there are some good museums here. And the Philbrook and The Gathering Place are only 90 miles away. If you were anywhere near the beach before, then the Hungtington has to be at least as far in terms of drive time.

And no ocean but many, many more lakes everywhere. That is something is very low supply in California and the few there are overrun. You can go sail at Lake Hefner, paddleboard at Overholser, row on the OK River, swim at Arcadia and waterski and powerboat all over the place.. There is also the whitewater facility, of course.


There are answers to all these questions but you first have to be open to them.

Compiling as I type!

[PurpleChicken]

^

That is a very specific type of camping. For general camping, it's not that different here and with the added benefit of lots of great sites next to lakes and all they offer, which is a tradeoff for states that offer mountains.

I'm sorry, where is there off roading, wilderness hiking, camping in Oklahoma?

[catch22]

Most of the camping in Oklahoma doesn't appeal to outdoorsy people. Many times it is a paved campsite with concrete benches, shelters, restrooms, grills, and hookups for trailers and campers. that is fine if that is your thing, but many prefer a more natural experience which Oklahoma simply doesn't offer compared to other states.

[PurpleChicken]

Get ready for people to provide all types of recs on camping and off-roading. Hiking as well.

OKC has fantastic Korean and Vietnamese options; every bit as good as L.A. Same thing with Mexican and other Latin foods. If you want something modern and eclectic, try Nonesuch or Grey Sweater -- both are L.A.-quaility and you can actually get into them almost any time and pay much less.

Tons of great parks too, of course.

Great parks? Where?
Korean food? Where?
Vietnamese food? Where?
Hispanic food? Where?

There are options but no where near the level of SoCal or options we've had in Colorado. We went to a Thai place in Longmont that was incredible. ...

I don't have the pockets for Grey Sweater or Nonesuch.

[Pete]

Most of the camping in Oklahoma doesn't appeal to outdoorsy people. Many times it is a paved campsite with concrete benches, shelters, restrooms, grills, and hookups for trailers and campers. that is fine if that is your thing, but many prefer a more natural experience which Oklahoma simply doesn't offer compared to other states.

I think you are overstating this.

I've done a ton of camping and even my adventurous friends in California didn't care much about the things you describe and gravitate towards the traditional campsite, which are in abundance here and way easier to book than they were on the West Coast.

[PurpleChicken]

Most of the camping in Oklahoma doesn't appeal to outdoorsy people. Many times it is a paved campsite with concrete benches, shelters, restrooms, grills, and hookups for trailers and campers. that is fine if that is your thing, but many prefer a more natural experience which Oklahoma simply doesn't offer compared to other states.

Yes.... ^^^This^^^

[Pete]

Great parks? Where?
Korean food? Where?
Vietnamese food? Where?
Hispanic food? Where?

There are options but no where near the level of SoCal or options we've had in Colorado. We went to a Thai place in Longmont that was incredible. ...

I don't have the pockets for Grey Sweater or Nonesuch.

If you are honestly interested in learning, then more information can be provided.

But when you emphatically state "nowhere near the level of options we've had in Colorado" without having any knowledge of what is offered here (which is ample) then people are probably not going to go to a lot of trouble in order to help you when you seem to have already decided not to like it here.

[PhiAlpha]

It's not a knock on OKC, but camping, hiking, and offroading in Oklahoma is absolutely not comparable at all to Colorado, Utah, New Mexico, etc. It is available but it just isn't comparable. if those things are important to you, you are simply in the wrong state. I cowboy camp (no tent or shelter) off the back of my motorcycles, I can be at a mountain campsite overlooking Co Springs in 30 minutes, and I can be in complete isolation/wilderness in about an hour. I can choose from high alpine campsites at 12,000 feet well above treeline (great for meteor showers btw) or, down low at 8,000 feet in the forest. I have camped many times away from any cell service and never saw another car or human the entire day and night. And most of those dispersed campsites are completely free and don't require any type of reservations or checking in with anyone. I am sure there are a handful of sites in Oklahoma like that, but if the wilderness is your thing - Oklahoma is not going to compare to the western states where there are literally millions of acres of free wilderness.

Again, that is not an indictment on Oklahoma. That applies to Texas, Kansas, Nebraska, etc.

I enjoy wilderness backpacking much more than car camping as well and there are a few places in OK that offer that type of experience.The Ouachitas in SE OK and Arkansas in anytime other than the hottest parts of summer will get you close to that minus the high elevation and proximity to a major city (usually 3 hrs from OKC or 2.5 from Tulsa). It has the leave no trace, 4X4, backpacking style unmarked camping and miles of unobstructed pine forests so somewhat comparable to NM, CO, WY, UT but obviously not an exact replica. I'm a pretty big fan of Northern NM.

Some others are the Charron's Garden Wilderness area in the Wichita Mountains, Green leaf state park, Robbers cave (which is in SE OK but somewhat removed from the Winding Stair Rec area and other Ouchita backcountry spots)

[catch22]

I think you are overstating this.

I've done a ton of camping and even my adventurous friends in California didn't care much about the things you describe and gravitate towards the traditional campsite, which are in abundance here and way easier to book than they were on the West Coast.

I am not knocking it in any way - it just seems to me PurpleChicken is looking for more of a natural campsite like I do. So I think he just won't find what he is looking for with the quantity and quality you can in other areas of the country, that is all. I think his mind may be made up on that. It does exist in OK, just not as prevalent. If it is that big of a deal to him or her, you should live where you are most happy.

[Pete]

^

Not as prevalent with also not nearly as many peoeple. And not the same as not existing.

[catch22]

The Wa****as in SE OK and Arkansas in anytime other than the hottest parts of summer will get you close to that minus the high elevation and proximity to a major city (usually 3 hrs from OKC or 2.5 from Tulsa). Somewhat comparable to NM, CO, WY, UT but obviously not an exact replica. I'm a pretty big fan of Northern NM.

Beautiful country down there. I think that is by far the best bet in Oklahoma. I wish NW Oklahoma was protected a little more instead of agricultural. It is more scenic than it gets credit for, in some areas anyway.