Servers in OKC

[Urbanized]

...If I was hungry and someone fed me, I don't care if they said please, thank you, or you're welcome. I'd say they're a nice person...

This is truly a bizarre conversation. We are not talking about a food kitchen, or a church feeding the hungry, or a family taking in the poor. We are talking about an exchange of currency for goods and services.

[Teo9969]

Absolutely fascinating thread.

[Pete]

It has been very interesting.

Here's another question: If you were managing a restaurant or other business where you had lots of others providing customer service, would you be okay if they called *your* customers 'boss', 'chief', 'buddy' or 'dude'? Especially knowing that lots of people don't like be addressed this way?

[Urbanized]

^^^^^
I think a lot of people who are trying to argue with me in this thread don't understand that this is wholly the perspective from which I am writing. Honestly, I don't care that much if someone calls ME "chief" or "boss". But I will be damned if one of my employees is going to use one of those terms to address a new customer.

And when I hear one of those terms, or hear "no problem", it doesn't upset ME, But it does make me cringe on behalf of their employer and the server's tip jar.

Everyone is writing from the perspective of THEY don't mind hearing this, or THEY should be able to say whatever they feel like. It's so entirely self-absorbed.

Customer service isn't about YOU, specifically. Even if you are an individual customer, and ESPECIALLY if you are a server. Customer service is about making ALL of your customers happy (or, realistically, as many as is humanly possible). Period.

And if that means dropping a term that you like, because it offends a large portion of your clientele, or saying "please", "thank you", and "you're welcome" - even though you believe that they are unnecessary societal constructs - well...that's what you're going to do. Or you're going to work for somebody else.

[Rover]

Being in business means finding the best way to please customers by meeting their expectations. Wise business owners find, hire and train employees who understand that and strive to accomplish it. Part of the process is identifying the elements that make that happen. When employees interact directly with customers, HOW they do it is important. Any business that doesn't understand that and train/manage their employees in that aim will ultimately pay for it.

[Jeepnokc]

^^^^^
I think a lot of people who are trying to argue with me in this thread don't understand that this is wholly the perspective from which I am writing. Honestly, I don't care that much if someone calls ME "chief" or "boss". But I will be damned if one of my employees uses one of those terms to address a new customer.

And when I hear one of those terms, or hear "no problem", it doesn't upset ME, But it does make me cringe on behalf of their employer and the server's tip jar.

Everyone is writing from the perspective of THEY don't mind hearing this, or THEY should be able to say whatever they feel like. It's so entirely self-absorbed.

Customer service isn't about YOU, specifically. Even if you are an individual customer, and ESPECIALLY if you are a server. Customer service is about making ALL of your customers happy (or, realistically, as many as is humanly possible). Period.

And if that means dropping a term that you like, because it offends a large portion of your clientele, or saying "please", "thank you", and "you're welcome" even though you believe that they are unnecessary societal constructs...well...that's what you're going to do. Or you're going to work for somebody else.

Although I have no problem with "no problem"....it is about the customer. We discussed this at our staff meeting yesterday to ensure that none of our staff was saying it. In today's highly competitive business market, why would you want to do anything that could potentially offend a single potential customer. Whether it is keeping the parking lot clean, addressing customers correctly and with respect and doing everything within your power to ensure their experience with your staff, your service and your facility is as pleasant as possible.

[catch22]

For the record, I agree on boss and chief dude and man. I think you will find we agree for the most part. My only disagreement is on the appropriateness of "no problem" under the certain circumstances I outlined.

[Rover]

If someone asked "Would it be a problem if I ordered sardines with my tea?", then an appropriate response might be "It's no problem". Otherwise, it is a largely inappropriate phrase to a large segment of customers unless it might happen to be at McDonalds where people don't expect to meet a properly trained customer service focused employee. If I have to ask to have my water glass refilled and the response is "no problem", it is particularly incorrect.

[Richard at Remax]

Could be worse. They could say "No Problemo"

[White Peacock]

Regarding the "no problem," "chief," and "boss" debate, I can understand both sides of the argument. Objectively of course none of it is an issue, but there are objective repercussions to the subjective importance the use of these terms if and when enough people are bothered by them, so from a business perspective, it's something to be considered.

I take the side of those who don't personally care what phrases are used as long as they're done so in a positive and respectful tone. I hate being treated like a burden when I'm being served, and that's a feeling you can get even when somebody is checking all the boxes of polite terminology.

"No problem" was always my go-to response when somebody thanked me for something when I was younger. I grew to see "you're welcome" as more appropriate most of the time, but the sentiment is the same. Nowadays sometimes I catch myself saying "mmhmm" or "yep" as a response to being thanked, and I'll quickly correct myself to use the more formal "you're welcome," as it all tends to sound a bit drab and unenthusiastic. But again, the sentiment being all the same, I'm not irked if somebody no-problems me.

[Jim Kyle]

that's what you're going to do. Or you're going to work for somebody else.

More than 40 years ago, I made a poster for my wife's then-boss (who over the years became an honorary member of our family) that he could put on the wall of his office. It read "Sometimes I'm right. Sometimes I'm wrong. All times I'm boss."

At the time he was rather new to the office, having moved down from Minneapolis to take charge, and he was having a bit of a problem becoming accepted.

After putting up the poster, his problem evaporated. Of course that was more than 40 years ago. Shame the idea doesn't seem to be acceptable today!

[dankrutka]

This is truly a bizarre conversation. We are not talking about a food kitchen, or a church feeding the hungry, or a family taking in the poor. We are talking about an exchange of currency for goods and services.

Go back and read my full posts. I pretty much keep agreeing with you about what is wise service etiquette, but I guess we can continue this dance a little longer...

[dankrutka]

It has been very interesting.

Here's another question: If you were managing a restaurant or other business where you had lots of others providing customer service, would you be okay if they called *your* customers 'boss', 'chief', 'buddy' or 'dude'? Especially knowing that lots of people don't like be addressed this way?

Has anyone advocated this as a wise business decision? Maybe I missed it. Myself and others have expressed our own personal preferences, but I think most people agree that servers should be cautious to satisfy the larger customer base.

Although Dick's actually built a business on insulting customers... So maybe there's a market for more laid back service. Who knows?

[Jersey Boss]

Just curious Pete, but did you address your concern with the management on the lack of respect shown to you as a customer? It seems that one solution could be to summon the manager and explain why you are not going to show financial "gratitude" to the server/bar keep, but instead reward the busser, host(ess) with the tip instead.

[Urbanized]

^^^^^^^
Without question there is a market for it, and Dick's is a perfect example, but also an inauthentic experience. Those people are essentially acting. Same with a place like Coyote Ugly.

But there are places where you wouldn't think twice about being referred to as "man", etc.. The pump comes to mind, although I have always found the staff there to be professional. But it is a very laid back atmosphere. Lots of tattoos, a little cleavage here and there; you know right away that a waiter won't be using a crumb scraper between courses. There will be some people who just aren't drawn to that environment, but that's OK because MANY others are coming there JUST FOR the feel of the place.

That said, pretty sure that Pete was referencing places not specifically going for laid-back, and going for a middle-of-the-road to upscale experience. Alienating a broad segment of the population there is DUMB.

And again, at EVERY place it's fair to expect "please", "thank you" and "you're welcome". Except perhaps Dick's.

[Teo9969]

It really is all about concept, but far more important than concept is delivering your service convincingly. Part of being convincing is not appearing like you are waiting on the 2,853rd table of your career. Part of being convincing is not replying to every "Thank You" the same way. Part of being convincing is knowing when and how to change up the things that you say to a table.

Sometimes a "no problem" makes sense, most of the time it doesn't. Sometimes calling a guest "Boss" makes sense, most of the time it doesn't.

In general, it's a good rule of thumb as a server to not use idiosyncratic language with every table you work with. Why? because it undermines everything you want to build as someone attempting to convince guests to enjoy an experience they could more or less create in other settings for 3x to 5x less than they are about to spend. You can't do that if you're calling 15 guests a night "boss" or "chief". You can't do that if you respond "no problem" to every single request/thank you that you're given. You can't do that if you're not confident enough to interact with your tables as though they are people rather than customers.

The sentiment of the thread is that OKC is sorely lacking a moderate professionalism from an incredibly high percentage of servers. As a "professional" server, I can assure you that this is 100% correct. I can also assure you the problem is going to get worse before it gets better. Far too many restaurants opening up with not nearly a high enough quality management pool.

[dankrutka]

Tonight I was at a coffee place in the Gaylord Texan and this happened:

Me: Where are the forks?
Employee: *points to his right* Right over there by the wall.
Me; Thanks.
Employee: No problem, boss.

I wonder how many times this happened and I didn't notice it prior to this thread raising my consciousness about it. Lol. I will say that I found the conversation totally appropriate personally... for me... Again, I'm not speaking as to whether it was a smart customer service practice overall. But the guy was friendly, smiled, and helped me get what I need. That works for me.

[Rover]

Low expectations will always be met.

[dankrutka]

Low expectations will always be met.

Luckily, I didn't have high expectations for your response. \burn/

[catch22]

Low expectations will always be met.

I've never had white table cloth service when requesting directions to the self serve forks.

[Rover]

It amazes me that people think that courtesy, civility, respect, and proper use of our language should be the exclusive domain of a certain economic class or used only in certain places or situations.

[dankrutka]

It amazes me that people think that courtesy, civility, respect, and proper use of our language should be the exclusive domain of a certain economic class or used only in certain places or situations.

Who said "courtesy, civility, and respect" should be the exclusive domain of a certain economic class or used only in certain places or situations? Is that somewhere in this thread?

And I am sorry you have to live in a world where you a guy at a coffee shop says, no problem, boss, when directing someone towards plastic forks. Lol. I will go back and lecture the youth on his improper uses of our language. I won't mention to him that pretty much every generation of youth uses its own slang vocabulary.

Seriously though, I don't mind at all the disagreement, but drop the judgment. That's far more unbecoming than no problem.

[Urbanized]

In all fairness, Dan, someone upthread essentially said that saying "please", "thank you" and "you're welcome" was snooty. Or actually, "snoody," which I took to mean snooty.

[Richard at Remax]

From reading all this some it seems like the best course of action would be for some people just to stay home.

[Martin]