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  1. Question To move from OKC or not...

    This has been an internal debate I have wrestled with for awhile now and want your opinion.

    I am 28 years old, single, no kids, never been married. I rent, and not own.

    I'm not sure if it's the feeling of getting older or seeing everyone else in my age group getting married and staying to start a family, or promptly moving to another state with better amenities, that has triggered this almost fever like feeling to want to move away myself. Don't get me wrong, OKC is great and I have civic pride for my home here. OKC is moving up in terms of becoming a better place to live, but do I really want to wait 30 years for it to be as competitive as a place to stay as some of the larger cities.

    OKC is great if you have a family, or are starting one soon, but if you're a single guy, besides the plethora of bars.. there is not much else to OKC. To put it bluntly, OKC doesn't have the "experiences" of other larger cities and frankly the atmosphere is lacking. There is only so much craft beer a guy can drink, repeat visits to "districts", or put up with legislative hypocrisy in a backwards state. After awhile it becomes repetitive and lackluster.

    I only have one life to live and I don't want to cheat myself out of life experiences. I have traveled the southern US, I've been in large cities and small towns, and in 3 days I will be in the Caribbean. The amount of differences between OKC and "other" places to live make it difficult for me to want to stay in my home state. Sure, I can continue to travel, but that gets expensive after awhile. A move to a permanent location that already has all the amenities I would get on a trip, but would get to experience every day as a new place to live, is more appealing.

    I think if it were not for my parents, siblings and friends living here, I would have considered moving in my early 20's. There is so much to experience in life, in the world... and OKC doesn't even begin to fill that void of adventure.

  2. #2

    Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    If you want to move then move! You don't have to feel bad leaving. At the same time don't look for some other place to make life better. I'm sure there are people in the Hamptons that dream of a life in some other place.

    If you have a job that can move about the country or a good prospect find a different place and settle! My wife and I thought about moving many times but as our parents are getting older we decided to stay. Living here is cheap enough to let us take a few vacations a year and a large vacation every other year.

    Life is a journey go experience it!

  3. #3

    Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    Quote Originally Posted by mmonroe View Post
    This has been an internal debate I have wrestled with for awhile now and want your opinion.

    I am 28 years old, single, no kids, never been married. I rent, and not own.

    I'm not sure if it's the feeling of getting older or seeing everyone else in my age group getting married and staying to start a family, or promptly moving to another state with better amenities, that has triggered this almost fever like feeling to want to move away myself. Don't get me wrong, OKC is great and I have civic pride for my home here. OKC is moving up in terms of becoming a better place to live, but do I really want to wait 30 years for it to be as competitive as a place to stay as some of the larger cities.

    OKC is great if you have a family, or are starting one soon, but if you're a single guy, besides the plethora of bars.. there is not much else to OKC. To put it bluntly, OKC doesn't have the "experiences" of other larger cities and frankly the atmosphere is lacking. There is only so much craft beer a guy can drink, repeat visits to "districts", or put up with legislative hypocrisy in a backwards state. After awhile it becomes repetitive and lackluster.

    I only have one life to live and I don't want to cheat myself out of life experiences. I have traveled the southern US, I've been in large cities and small towns, and in 3 days I will be in the Caribbean. The amount of differences between OKC and "other" places to live make it difficult for me to want to stay in my home state. Sure, I can continue to travel, but that gets expensive after awhile. A move to a permanent location that already has all the amenities I would get on a trip, but would get to experience every day as a new place to live, is more appealing.

    I think if it were not for my parents, siblings and friends living here, I would have considered moving in my early 20's. There is so much to experience in life, in the world... and OKC doesn't even begin to fill that void of adventure.
    Home never fills the void of adventure.

    Leave man. You can always come back.

  4. Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    I appreciate the insight and rather happy no one bit my head off.

  5. #5

    Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    One thing you should be mindful of is that you're comparing OKC to several different places that you only visited for a short time. The "experiences" that you speak of could potentially also become repetitive and lackluster once you move and live there (where ever it is you're specifically thinking of) for an extended period of time. That doesn't mean you shouldn't ever leave. Just don't get disheartened when you discover your new adventure eventually evolves into your boring routine.

  6. #6

    Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    If anyone is going to speak honestly, they will tell you to follow your gut and move. As said above, you can always come back if you want. The worst words in the human language is "I regret not..." One life. Go for it.

  7. #7

    Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    Quote Originally Posted by mmonroe View Post
    This has been an internal debate I have wrestled with for awhile now and want your opinion.

    I am 28 years old, single, no kids, never been married. I rent, and not own.

    I'm not sure if it's the feeling of getting older or seeing everyone else in my age group getting married and staying to start a family, or promptly moving to another state with better amenities, that has triggered this almost fever like feeling to want to move away myself. Don't get me wrong, OKC is great and I have civic pride for my home here. OKC is moving up in terms of becoming a better place to live, but do I really want to wait 30 years for it to be as competitive as a place to stay as some of the larger cities.

    OKC is great if you have a family, or are starting one soon, but if you're a single guy, besides the plethora of bars.. there is not much else to OKC. To put it bluntly, OKC doesn't have the "experiences" of other larger cities and frankly the atmosphere is lacking. There is only so much craft beer a guy can drink, repeat visits to "districts", or put up with legislative hypocrisy in a backwards state. After awhile it becomes repetitive and lackluster.

    I only have one life to live and I don't want to cheat myself out of life experiences. I have traveled the southern US, I've been in large cities and small towns, and in 3 days I will be in the Caribbean. The amount of differences between OKC and "other" places to live make it difficult for me to want to stay in my home state. Sure, I can continue to travel, but that gets expensive after awhile. A move to a permanent location that already has all the amenities I would get on a trip, but would get to experience every day as a new place to live, is more appealing.

    I think if it were not for my parents, siblings and friends living here, I would have considered moving in my early 20's. There is so much to experience in life, in the world... and OKC doesn't even begin to fill that void of adventure.
    I agree with Teo9969 in that home never fills the void of adventure. I can so, so relate to everything you are saying here.

    I moved to Charlotte when I was 24 and moved back to OKC at 27 (thanks to the recession). I have a great job here, but feel that the city doesn't offer much for a single guy like myself and is better suited for those raising a family or settling down. Pretty much all of my close friends who aren't married either have moved or will this summer. I have personally trapped myself in some bad financial decisions that will make it very difficult and risky (though not impossible) to leave within the next five years, but if it wasn't for those I would probably be moving again sooner rather than later. I agree that OKC is getting much, much better but personally I think its still a good 5-10 years from where I would really like to see it.

    Charlotte really doesn't offer that much more than OKC does in terms of actual amenities. They have a real amusement park, an NFL team, and their urban districts are about 15 years ahead of their OKC counterparts, but for the most part there isn't a ton you can do there that you can't do here. Charlotte is marginally more progressive than OKC but there is a strong conservative/religious culture there that isn't much different from OKC. We have Sally Kern, they have Bill James. There is a larger active young professional community in Charlotte but the predominant culture is family-oriented just like OKC. The reason I loved it out there so much is because I was away from home and there was a sense of adventure that I am missing out on here. I could really find myself out there while in OKC I feel like I have an expectation to live up to.

    My advice is to really weigh the pros and cons of leaving vs. staying. Think about where you want to live and what you would actually get out of it that you couldn't get here. Also think about your day to day life, things like employment and possible living situations. I had the opportunity to go back to Charlotte recently but chose not to because I would have been leaving a secure job with benefits here for a temp job there with no benefits making about two thirds of what I am making here and it wasn't something I really wanted to do when I really started analyzing things. If you decide that moving is right for you, by all means do it if you have the means to. We only have one life and we need to make the best of it.

  8. #8

    Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    Bottom line, if you feel like you need to go, then go. Just be very aware of what you're willing to give up and trade offs you'll accept to experience your life goals.

    I've been out of OKC a little over a year. Right before I accepted my job in Dallas, my status here would have mirrored yours exactly, except I was 27 at the time. Counting my time at OU, I had lived here nearly a decade and while I love OKC, I was frankly getting burnt out on the same stuff, same bars, same people, same weather, etc. So I accepted my job and bailed. TBH, within about 60 days I started questioning whether I made the right decision. It is tough to completely start over in a new place. At 28, you are getting to the age where it starts becoming harder to make friends, and this is true everywhere. I begin missing the vast social network and feeling of familiarity that I had in OKC. I also realized how much I took for granted the ease of living here. I get mad when I pay my bills here and it feel its a total ripoff. Once I strip it down, I do largely the exact same things here that I did up there.

    Now do I regret moving? Surprisingly no. I really enjoy my job, and have learned so much about myself that it has made it worth it. It has been challenging but I have definitely shaken myself out my personal rut. At the same time, living somewhere else has probably made me appreciate OKC more. I can say with some level of confidence I will probably move back. But for now I take my current experience as another step of life. Maybe it will be for you.

    I would ask yourself these questions. Are you okay completely starting over someplace new? Are you okay possibly being alone and isolated for an initial time in your new locale until you meet more people, which in itself is a tall order? Do you have the financial means and/or employment opportunities to make it in a new place? And (here is the big one), are there things here that you can adjust in your life that are less dramatic then a full fledged move?

  9. #9

    Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkasa View Post
    One thing you should be mindful of is that you're comparing OKC to several different places that you only visited for a short time. The "experiences" that you speak of could potentially also become repetitive and lackluster once you move and live there (where ever it is you're specifically thinking of) for an extended period of time. That doesn't mean you shouldn't ever leave. Just don't get disheartened when you discover your new adventure eventually evolves into your boring routine.
    Oohh, this is good. I have quite a few friends that live in NYC. I use to joke with them that I was so jealous of their lives. Then I found out their daily routines are 95% of what I do in lil' ole OKC, except for them they pay 300% more for rent, deal with crowds of thousands daily, and actually make an effort to avoid big tourist areas. One of my friends up there only goes to big tourists spots when I was there.

    Truth is, people are people EVERYWHERE and you will find that folks and their lives are surprisingly boring and routine throughout this country.

  10. #10

    Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    I'm going to throw out one more thing. Don't be afraid of doing things alone. Here, there, or wherever. Surprisingly, you'll meet people easier because you don't have someone else at your elbow to spend all of your time with. There is so much to do in bigger cities that there's no question it's easier to stay busy if that's what you want to do. I can't imagine living in NYC and not taking advantage of all there is to do. In fact, I've always believed there are very few cities that don't really have "touristy areas" and NYC is one of them. It is all woven into the daily fabric of the city. Of course, we're not talking about things like the Statue of Liberty, of course you're not going to go there all the time if you live there. But, the city taken as a whole, has no touristy district. So much to do. Anybody bored in NYC needs more help than where to live.

  11. #11

    Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    Just leave, it's good for you. This is not an "OKC has nothing to offer" thing, it's just a stage that many of us go through. In late 2004 I had been in Houston 2.5 years post graduation from a school only 2 hours away. I had always been within that radius of Houston, and while I love the city and all my family and friends there, at that time friends were marrying, having kids, all that, and I had blown through 3 jobs I hated and wanted to get away. I had an old boss who had moved Phoenix, and I "knew" two other guys there (like I "know" most of you here) through a college football forum. I quit my job, took a job in Phoenix, picked up and was gone from Houston in a week, shocking friends and family. Killed my mother at the time, but I ended up meeting my wife in Phoenix and now we're here. My time in Phoenix was awesome, and while it wasn't all these great adventures after another, just going elsewhere filled that void of going it alone for a while.

  12. #12

    Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    You are at a perfect point in your life to move to another area. When my ex ad I were on our honeymoon in Colorado, we met a man on the Durango - Silverton train who told us we should move to Colorado. We said, "No, we can't. The ex had a job to go to in Tulsa!" Dumbest decision we ever made. We had everything we owned except our dog and a few household goods in the car. It would have been the easiest move of our life. But we were too chicken to do it. If you have the urge to spread your wings somewhere else and you don't do it, you will always regret it.

  13. #13

    Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    I love OKC. If you want to leave then do it. Personally I'm good with visiting
    someplace else and coming back to home.

  14. #14

    Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    I might recommend leaving the country for a bit if you can. Go teach English for 6 to 12 months in a foreign country, learn a new language, and take the time to evaluate your life moving forward. The United States only has so much to offer and though you'll likely be surprised by how mundane living even in a foreign country can be at times, it definitely provides more unique perspectives.

    Remember, you're still a human, and leaving does not exempt you from day-to-day living, so keep in mind as you're thinking through your options that not every moment can be a superlative, indeed, fewer moments than any human would care to admit truly are.

  15. #15

    Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    Quote Originally Posted by adaniel View Post
    Oohh, this is good. I have quite a few friends that live in NYC. I use to joke with them that I was so jealous of their lives. Then I found out their daily routines are 95% of what I do in lil' ole OKC, except for them they pay 300% more for rent, deal with crowds of thousands daily, and actually make an effort to avoid big tourist areas. One of my friends up there only goes to big tourists spots when I was there.

    Truth is, people are people EVERYWHERE and you will find that folks and their lives are surprisingly boring and routine throughout this country.
    Co-sign on this. Even on extended tours, being a tourist is totally different from a permanent resident. I would recommend trying to make some connections in your destination city and try to get some raw perspective on life there. Keep in mind that everything has its cost. Cities with tons of amenities are also more expensive, more crowded, and more work to live well. My wife and I always talk about moving because we're pretty adventurous and do get really bored at times. But her being a native of New York, there are only a few cities that she feels are worth the cost of moving and living, and we can't afford any of them lol.

    That being said, don't NOT move because you feel bad or a sell out, because that's silly. I think moving is a much more traumatic thing to us OKC natives than in other places. Probably because it's just so (economically) easy to live here. Most people people I know from other cities move several times, even into their 30s and 40s. If you find a city you love, that offers you what you are truly looking for, and you don't have reasons to stay, then you should go.

  16. #16

    Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    Quote Originally Posted by Teo9969 View Post
    Home never fills the void of adventure.

    Leave man. You can always come back.
    This, x1000

  17. #17

    Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    Move and experience something new.

    But keep the opening monologue of this in the back of your mind.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9Kc7WtQqrc

  18. #18

    Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    I feel you man.
    I am 32, unmarried, no kids currently living in Houston.
    I am moving to OKC in a month because of a job opportunity that would take me 10 years to achieve in Houston.

    I struggled with the questions you are asking yourself: things to do, bars, restaurants etc... The verdict is to be decided.
    I lived in OKC for 4 years but that was a decade ago, but when I came back to look at this position I was shocked at how much OKC has changed, grown and improved overall.

    I am personally sick of sitting in traffic in a massively crowded city. When I think of the "awesome, cool stuff" I do, none of it happens here - it happens either in Austin or Galveston (hiking and boating).

    Even though I live in a city full of bars and restaurants I only go to the same 3 or 4 because traffic is a nightmare.
    I don't do high end shopping, I buy everything online.My Houston friends love this place and have this insane love of the humidity, traffic, and the Astros/Rockets (only when they're winning).
    Whenever friends or work colleagues from NYC or LA come into town they feel like this is a big city cowboy town and not very nice\cultured (whatever that means).

    After evaluating all these factors in my life it made the prospect of moving to an up and coming city more exciting.
    Every time I get on facebook OKC is featured on some list as "best place for ...." I find this encouraging.

    No matter where you live there are going to be trade offs, just sit down, make a list of your must haves, wants and don't wants.
    I think when you look at stuff objectively you'll figure out whats best for you.
    Good luck buddy.

    I'll let you guys know if I'm still excited about OKC in a year.

  19. Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    Being an unmarried, no kids, renter, you have no reason (other than nerves) to not give moving a shot. Hopefully you've got some cash saved up and/or a skill that is mobile and easily employable.

    I considered it for a long time because I didn't see myself as the 'get'n hitch'd' kind of guy (until I met my now wife).

    We even considered moving after getting married. I've traveled to many other cities and countries, but honestly, they were all great for a visit, but never considered home.

    As for nothing to do in OKC, it really just comes down to what you like to do, your expectations and reality.

    Our son went to welding school just so he'd have a very in demand mobile skill. But he found an extremely good paying job near Broken Arrow and has decided he's in no hurry to move somewhere more expensive. Just depends on the individual.

  20. #20

    Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    I'm with you all as far as moving. I left California to come here and go to college in 1976. I"ve been here ever since. I'm 56 yo and have no family in Oklahoma. I stayed because of getting hired by the city of Edmond. I'm now retired and looking at moving. Most of my friends have retired and moved to be with their kids and grand kids. s you get older its hard to make friends. especially when they are married and you aren't. I'm looking at moving to the Minneapolis/ St Paul area. Why, longtime friends and family close in Wis., better health care and better fishing and gardening. Yes the cost of living is higher. I'm hoping I can make it on my pension. Now with you a younger guy, sure, move and experience another part of the county. Maybe leave the south/plains for the coasts or up north. You are young and can always come back. Up north, there are lots of festivals and things to do on weekends. Lots of diferent kinds of resturants/craft beer. I'm looking foreward to some good German festivals.

  21. Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    Very eye opening and encouraging. In all the places I've traveled, it's been for a day to two weeks at a time.
    I guess I will need to spend the next few months to maybe even a year or two to continue to travel and experience more cities and for longer periods of time.
    A lot can happen between now and a final decision.

    Again, thanks for the advice and insight. It's well noted.

  22. #22

    Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    Quote Originally Posted by Teo9969 View Post
    Home never fills the void of adventure.

    Leave man. You can always come back.
    My thoughts exactly. I've lived in another country and places scattered throughout the USA. I've thoroughly enjoyed every single residency even places like Warner Robins Georgia. Life is way too short to be one of those never lived xxx miles from your birthplace statistics.
    Don't hassle me, I'm local.

  23. #23
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    Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    You are still plenty young enough to get some new locations and situations going. I grew up a Navy brat, joined the USAF and traveled a bit the 23 years I worked at SWA. Move it or lose it. (Too age and trepidation)

  24. #24

    Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    One more thing I want to add regarding moving, and this applies for ANY move, consider not only what you will gain by moving but what you will lose. Many times what we lose by moving affects our psyche later on moreso than what we gain.

    For instance, right now pretty much every pathway I have to move would require me to move without a job and without enough money to last very long in my new location. This means I could possibly be going from an awesome job using my degree to something low-end that would enable me to make enough to scrape by (possibly hourly). It's a dilemma because while I have some appealing options on the table, I am not sure if its worth leaving a great job and/or putting my career in jeopardy. On the flipside I could end up living somewhere that would be a better fit for me at this point in my life than OKC. It would definitely be a gamble. The important thing is to think everything through and not make any rash decisions on emotion or boredom.

  25. #25

    Default Re: To move from OKC or not...

    I'm at the opposite end of the spectrum; I'm trying to get to OKC in hopes that it will be my permanent home. I actually sold my house a few weeks ago, which was one hurdle towards starting the process to relocate. The next hurdle is finding a job.

    You're right; you only have one life to live and you should experience as much as you can. Travel around the world. Meet new people. Get to know yourself a little more. You will know when you've found the right place.

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