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  1. Default Re: More Political Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by Bunty View Post
    OK, then a young woman in rags holding a baby in her arms with a dirty little child only in diapers standing by her side. We have government welfare so we don't have to open our front door to sights such as that. If I'm wrong, then are any Republicans running on banning government welfare. I don't think so.

    However, as scary as you look, you would scare needy people away, so you wouldn't have to worry.
    I'm still not going to just hand her money.. that's absurd..

    If anything, I'd probably offer to pay her to clean my house or do some other chores.. I'm not just going to give away money..

  2. #127

    Default Re: More Political Humor

    The Queen's Riddle

    Barack Obama met with the Queen of England.

    He asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"

    "Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

    Obama frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"

    The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushed a button on her intercom.
    "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"

    Tony Blair walked into the room and said, "Yes, my Queen?"

    The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this please, Tony, your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister.
    Who is it?"

    Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, "That would be me."

    "Yes! Very good," said the Queen.

    Obama went back home to ask Joe Biden, his vice president the same question. "Joe, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a
    child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

    "I'm not sure," said Biden. "Let me get back to you on that one..." He went to his advisors and asked every one, but none could give him an
    answer. Finally, he ended up in the men's room and recognized Colin Powell's shoes in the next stall. Biden asked Powell, "Colin, can you
    answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

    Colin Powell yelled back, "That's easy, it's me!"

    Biden smiled, and said, "Thanks!" Then, he went back to speak with Obama. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle.
    It's Colin Powell!"

    Obama got up, stomped over to Biden, and angrily yelled into his face, "No! you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

  3. #128
    Prunepicker Guest

    Default Re: More Political Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by fuzzytoad View Post
    ????????

    That doesn't make any sense at all...

    Person in rags banging on my door!= $20 hand out.
    Of course it doesn't make sense. Consider the source.

  4. #129
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    Default Re: More Political Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by Prunepicker View Post
    Of course it doesn't make sense. Consider the source.
    So who hasn't given money to a needy person in the street?

    And if Prunepicker had a lick of good sense, he would have brought up again that as a child living decades ago, back when, presumably, government welfare was considerably less prevalent, that he doesn't remember needy people coming to his family's door asking for help or money. Of course, other old timers' experiences may differ.

  5. #130
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    Default Re: More Political Humor

    Here's a good one for people like Prunepicker who feel such hatred in their hearts against Democrats.

    In the nightmare I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking at a mirror on the ceiling, and I discovered that I am black, and I'm circumcised! Quickly I sat up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to find my driver's license photo and it was that same color. Black. I felt myself being very depressed, downcast, sitting in a chair. But it's a wheelchair!! That means, of course, besides being black and Jewish, I'm also disabled!!! I said to myself, aloud 'This is impossible. It's impossible that I should be black and Jewish and disabled.' 'It's the pure and holy truth', whispers someone from behind me. I turn around, and it's my boyfriend. Just what I needed!!! I am a homosexual, and on top of that with a Mexican boyfriend. Oh, my God..... black, Jewish, disabled, gay, with a Mexican boyfriend, drug addict, and HIV-positive!!!

    Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, pull my hair, and Oh, noooooo...I'm bald!!! The telephone rings. It's my brother. He is saying, 'Since mom and dad died the only thing you do is hang out, take drugs, and lay around all day doing nothing. Get a job you worthless piece of crap... any job.' Mom?... Dad?... Nooooooooo... Now I'm also an unemployed orphan! I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to find a job when you are black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, are a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, and an orphan. But he doesn't get it. Frustrated, I hang up. It's then I realize I only have one hand!!!

    With tears in my eyes I go to the window to look out. I see I live in a shanty-town full of cardboard and tin houses! There is trash everywhere. Suddenly I feel a sharp pain near my pacemaker.... Pacemaker? Besides being black, Jewish, disabled, a fairy with a Mexican boyfriend, a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, an invalid with one hand, and having a bad heart, I live in a crappy neighborhood. At that very moment my boyfriend approaches and says tome, 'Sweetie pie, my love, my little black heart throb, have you decided what you are going to wear to Washington to see Obama?" Say it isn't so!!! I can handle being a black, disabled, one armed, drug-addicted, Jewish homosexual on a pacemaker who is HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, lives in a slum, and has a Mexican boyfriend, but please, oh dear God, please don't tell me I'm a DEMOCRAT, too!

  6. #131

    Default Re: More Political Humor


  7. #132

    Default Re: More Political Humor


  8. #133
    Prunepicker Guest

    Default Re: More Political Humor


  9. #134
    Prunepicker Guest

    Default Re: More Political Humor


  10. #135
    Prunepicker Guest

    Default Re: More Political Humor


  11. #136
    Prunepicker Guest

    Default Re: More Political Humor


  12. #137
    Prunepicker Guest

    Default Re: More Political Humor


  13. #138

    Default Re: More Political Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Edge View Post
    How is that humorous? Why does Arnold expect to see Russia from Anchorage?

  14. #139

    Default Re: More Political Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by caboose View Post
    how is that humorous? Why does arnold expect to see russia from anchorage?

    qed.

  15. #140

    Default Re: More Political Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Edge View Post
    qed.
    Well? Whats the joke?

  16. #141
    Prunepicker Guest

    Default Re: More Political Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by Caboose View Post
    How is that humorous? Why does Arnold expect to see Russia
    from Anchorage?
    Maybe DE doesn't know you can't see Russia from Anchorage, AK.

  17. #142
    Lord Helmet Guest

    Default Re: More Political Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by Caboose View Post
    How is that humorous? Why does Arnold expect to see Russia from Anchorage?
    Methinks it has to do with Sarah Palin's statement during the last election that Alaska's proximity to Russia gives her foreign policy experience.

  18. Default Re: More Political Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Helmet View Post
    Methinks it has to do with Sarah Palin's statement during the last election that Alaska's proximity to Russia gives her foreign policy experience.
    uhh, that's not exactly what was said...

    As Gibson and Palin discussed the conflict between Russia and Georgia, Gibson had asked last year, "What insight into Russian actions particularly in the last couple of weeks, does the proximity of this state give you?"

    Palin responded: "They're our next door neighbors. And you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska."

  19. #144

    Default Re: More Political Humor

    Surely somebody will post SP's tweet in response. Not sure it's as funny as his but it was on point and she got the best of the exchange.

  20. #145

    Default Re: More Political Humor

    Or perhaps she did not...

    Too bad Palin failed to recognize that she cut and run on the job plus accepted massive federal government handouts for Alaska. It's easy to balance a budget when your waist deep in handouts from states that pay more into the system. Shouldn't that money count if someone like Palin who rails against government spending wants to have this discussion?

    On Friday afternoon, Palin hit back at Schwarzenegger and took aim the economic distress plaguing his state.

    "Arnold should have landed," Palin tweeted. "I could have explained our multi-billion dollar state surplus & US energy security efforts. What's he been up to?"

    Schwarzenegger's state has been drowning in debt and budget deficits for years. Alaska has a relatively healthy economy that is heavily reliant upon oil revenue and received federal stimulus dollars.

    http://www.americablog.com/2010/09/p...neggers-i.html

  21. #146

    Default Re: More Political Humor

    I still don't think Palin understands she can't actually see Russia from Alaska. I think she still believes "when Putin rears his head and, um, comes into the , um, airspace of the United States of America" that what he sees is Palin with her huntin' rifle and that scares him into going back to Moscow.

    I'm exagerating. She doesn't know that Moscow is in Russia.

  22. Default Re: More Political Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by Edmond_Outsider View Post
    I still don't think Palin understands she can't actually see Russia from Alaska.

    yes, you can...

  23. #148

    Default Re: More Political Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by fuzzytoad View Post
    yes, you can...
    LOL is this what it appears to be? DE and EO still think you can't see Russia from Alaska? Figures.

  24. #149

    Default Re: More Political Humor

    Well SP might as well be flying around with Arnold looking for it because she's never seen it from Alaska. So much for all that foreign policy experience she might have gained through her eyeballs if she had.

  25. #150

    Default Re: More Political Humor

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Edge View Post
    Well SP might as well be flying around with Arnold looking for it because she's never seen it from Alaska. So much for all that foreign policy experience she might have gained through her eyeballs if she had.
    LOL. You still didnt know. This is hilarious.

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