Here's how to create the most illusive meal on the face of the Earth.
The reason it's illusive is because of the misconception that it's very
difficult to make this dish.
Here are the secret instructions.
2 1/2 cups dried pinto beans (soaking is a myth) Hey, make sure there's
no clumps of dirt or deformed beans.)
3/4 cup of chopped onion. 1 medium onion (medium is subjective)
6 cups cold water, tap is fine
1 smoked ham hock (size doesn't matter unless you're doing a cooking
show.)
1 teaspoon salt Seriously, that's all.
1/2 teaspoon pepper
From approximately 6 feet throw the beans into a pot. Toss in the
rest of the ingredients. Sweep the floor and wipe counter top. Put the
contents, including unrecognizable seasonings, into the pot.
Toss the water into the pot and add enough to make 6 cups.
Wipe counter top.
*Bring to a boil (the ingredients in the pot and not the counter top)
Reduce to a simmer (just enough to cause the liquid to bubble a little.)
Cook 3 to 4 hours. Add water as necessary.
Serve with Cornbread and buttermilk. Pepper sauce is optional.
Eat. Smile. Fart exuberantly.
Repeat.
This is a "no way it can fail" recipe
*this can be duplicated in a crock pot. Cook all day on low.
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