Oral Robert's Grandson Tells of Coming Out Gay

[Bunty]

Or is he a bisexual?

http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/artic...5_CUTLIN436107

[Thunder]

I can't believe I walked on that campus and entered the building. That family is evil.

(I was there on campus to visit my cousin's HS graduation.)

Btw, that guy is cute. :-O

[ljbab728]

This sounds like a very common situation in many families. Being a famous family just makes it more public.

[JayhawkTransplant]

This sounds like a very common situation in many families. Being a famous family just makes it more public.

Coming out is probably difficult enough; doing so within such a noted evangelical family must be darn near impossible. It undoubtedly took a lot of courage.

That was a great article--thanks for sharing!

[PennyQuilts]

At Evelyn Roberts' graveside service in 2005, Potts said, an armed security guard kept him out of the family's seating section.

"I was shocked," he said. "I made a big scene. I was bawling. I was very close to Grandma."

Read more from this Tulsa World article at http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/artic...5_CUTLIN436107
He had my sympathy until this point. Any grown man who behaves that way at his grandmother's funeral has issues and being profoundly self centered comes to mind.

[Thunder]

Read more from this Tulsa World article at http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/artic...5_CUTLIN436107
He had my sympathy until this point. Any grown man who behaves that way at his grandmother's funeral has issues and being profoundly self centered comes to mind.

You scare me, Penny. There is nothing wrong with him wanting to pay his respects to his grandma. He did perfectly fine.

[Mr T]

PQ has never met his parents, obviously. Yes, he has issues and I don't blame him. He lived next door to me for 2 years. Lovely kid.

[venture]

Read more from this Tulsa World article at http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/artic...5_CUTLIN436107
He had my sympathy until this point. Any grown man who behaves that way at his grandmother's funeral has issues and being profoundly self centered comes to mind.

So say your parent figure died...and your family banished you from being able to attend and completely ignored you? Are you saying you wouldn't be human and be over come by emotions and get overemotional? Perhaps in this situation you should think more with the heart instead of the brain, as once love of a family member comes into play - the brain is tuned out. Unfortunately we aren't all born with a switch to turn off our emotions. I would be more concerned with the actions of family and how they treated their own flesh and blood. That is the biggest issue here.

[PennyQuilts]

So say your parent figure died...and your family banished you from being able to attend and completely ignored you? Are you saying you wouldn't be human and be over come by emotions and get overemotional? Perhaps in this situation you should think more with the heart instead of the brain, as once love of a family member comes into play - the brain is tuned out. Unfortunately we aren't all born with a switch to turn off our emotions. I would be more concerned with the actions of family and how they treated their own flesh and blood. That is the biggest issue here.

This is what we have become as a society? Public melt downs by grown men because their crappy family (I'll give him the benefit on that) don't let him sit with the family. Sorry, there are some things that are an insult to the departed's memory and that is one of them. If he is so out of control of his emotions, perhaps he shouldn't have attended. I am not saying it wasn't painful - of course it was. I am saying he clearly thought his own pain was more important than honoring his beloved Grandmother. The whole purpose of the funeral was to pay his respects to his grandmother - his poor relationship with his family was NOT the bigger issue. We can't choose our families but we ARE responsible for our own behavior. If he were 10, that would be one thing. This was a grown man creating a public spectacle at his grandmother's funeral because he was mad/hurt by his parents. He ought to be ashamed of himself. That he was in great pain is no excuse. He sounds mentally unstable, to me.

[Swake2]

This is what we have become as a society? Public melt downs by grown men because their crappy family (I'll give him the benefit on that) don't let him sit with the family. Sorry, there are some things that are an insult to the departed's memory and that is one of them. If he is so out of control of his emotions, perhaps he shouldn't have attended. I am not saying it wasn't painful - of course it was. I am saying he clearly thought his own pain was more important than honoring his beloved Grandmother. The whole purpose of the funeral was to pay his respects to his grandmother - his poor relationship with his family was NOT the bigger issue. We can't choose our families but we ARE responsible for our own behavior. If he were 10, that would be one thing. This was a grown man creating a public spectacle at his grandmother's funeral because he was mad/hurt by his parents. He ought to be ashamed of himself. That he was in great pain is no excuse. He sounds mentally unstable, to me.

Wow, just plain wow.

[Thunder]

This is what we have become as a society? Public melt downs by grown men because their crappy family (I'll give him the benefit on that) don't let him sit with the family. Sorry, there are some things that are an insult to the departed's memory and that is one of them. If he is so out of control of his emotions, perhaps he shouldn't have attended. I am not saying it wasn't painful - of course it was. I am saying he clearly thought his own pain was more important than honoring his beloved Grandmother. The whole purpose of the funeral was to pay his respects to his grandmother - his poor relationship with his family was NOT the bigger issue. We can't choose our families but we ARE responsible for our own behavior. If he were 10, that would be one thing. This was a grown man creating a public spectacle at his grandmother's funeral because he was mad/hurt by his parents. He ought to be ashamed of himself. That he was in great pain is no excuse. He sounds mentally unstable, to me.

Wow, Penny, wow! I'm disappointed in you. More like really ashamed of your post. Grown men or not...just because they are men...does not mean they should not cry or become extremely emotional. Nothing on his part indicated nor implied that his pain was more important than everything else. This guy was right. The family was wrong. If the grandmother was there in ghost form...literally there, she would wreck havoc on the family and set them ablaze. Shame on you, Penny. He had every right to sit with the family and he had every right to sit up close with his grandmother and he had every right to pay her a final physical visit, which may involve touching/hugging/kissing to bid his grandmother farewell. What is your problem, Penny?

Btw, he is not mentally unstable. Look at yourself...at least on this topic. :-/

[PennyQuilts]

Wow, just plain wow.

You think? Then let me ask you - the mother's version has been that she is sorry he was excluded, it was unintentional and she wished it had been handled differently. Potts says that he was deliberately excluded from the family and told he was going to hell. This is disputed.

According to her, Roberta Potts said she learned from her daughter-in-law that her son was gay.

"Randy has never discussed it with us," she said. "We have tried to contact him, and he won't contact us."

This young man seems satisfied that because he had been - according to him - mistreated by his family, that it was perfectly appropriate to pitch a fit at the funeral. Hello? What about his mother who lost her own mother? Do you really think this man was justified due to "grief" to create that kind of scene under the circumstances? Just because he is gay doesn't mean he is telling the truth or that he is believeable or credibile, notwithstanding that some want to believe him, no matter what, due to his orientation. or simply because of an underlying bias against fundamentalists.

Absent an underlying premise that she is a liar, why would anyone accept his word over hers? What this man did at the funeral was incredible. He lost his grandmother, she lost her mother. He says this, she says that. We don't know what happened one way or the other behind closed doors, but we have a mother who expresses regret over the incident - says it wasn't intentional - and a young man who pitched a fit at his grandmother's funeral and thinks that is justified due to his problems with the family. And based on the word of a man who can't keep it together in public - no matter how disrespectful it is to his mother and grandmother - some people flock to believe him. Just because he is gay doesn't mean he is a nice guy. For some reason, he is deemed, by some, a victim, when he acts like a jerk in public. But if he jerks around a heterosexual woman and his three children, that's all forgiven. What a double standard.

Gay people have their baggage just like everyone else. Just because they are gay and haven't had an easy time of it doesn't mean it's okay to be asses at their grandmother's funeral and jerk women (and children) around by pretending to be heterosexual. He sounds utterly self absorbed, to me, and I've been around enough gay people with difficult family situations to recognise a jerk when I see one.

[PennyQuilts]

Wow, Penny, wow! I'm disappointed in you. More like really ashamed of your post. Grown men or not...just because they are men...does not mean they should not cry or become extremely emotional. Nothing on his part indicated nor implied that his pain was more important than everything else. This guy was right. The family was wrong. If the grandmother was there in ghost form...literally there, she would wreck havoc on the family and set them ablaze. Shame on you, Penny. He had every right to sit with the family and he had every right to sit up close with his grandmother and he had every right to pay her a final physical visit, which may involve touching/hugging/kissing to bid his grandmother farewell. What is your problem, Penny?

Btw, he is not mentally unstable. Look at yourself...at least on this topic. :-/

Go back and read. He wasn't grieving over grandma - he was pitching a fit over the seating arrangements.

[Double Edge]

grown men

sexist

[venture]

I had a different response typed, but I wouldn't want to appear mentally unstable. So...

You think? Then let me ask you - the mother's version has been that she is sorry he was excluded, it was unintentional and she wished it had been handled differently. Potts says that he was deliberately excluded from the family and told he was going to hell. This is disputed.

The mother's version. Keep that in mind that families that are always in the public eye can probably spin a story pretty good to make them look good. Not saying either side is right or wrong. I've had family members I haven't spoken to in 10 years, but when a close relative passes away...we reach out to make sure people know. That's family, at least where I come from. These evangelical messengers should probably take a lesson from the words they spew out, but don't believe in themselves.

This young man seems satisfied that because he had been - according to him - mistreated by his family, that it was perfectly appropriate to pitch a fit at the funeral. Hello? What about his mother who lost her own mother? Do you really think this man was justified due to "grief" to create that kind of scene under the circumstances? Just because he is gay doesn't mean he is telling the truth or that he is believeable or credibile, notwithstanding that some want to believe him, no matter what, due to his orientation. or simply because of an underlying bias against fundamentalists.

What was the true nature of his relationship with his grandma? We'll never know just how deeply close they are. People can handle situations differently. Where I him, I may not have even gone and decided to later go to the grave site to visit (if I couldn't at the home earlier). However if you can actually take a break from the political crap for a moment (or otherwise start a new thread in the Politics section), let's consider the situation. Stress was obviously a major factor here. The stress of the guy and his family, and the stress of losing the closest relative he had. That's pretty deep when you consider the human side of this and perhaps his ability to handle such stress isn't the best (obviously). The mother is obviously going to be torn up and hopefully deep down is also torn up over the loss of her own child, who she likely chose to shun away from when his sexuality came into question. Should we take his side because of who is loves? Not at all. However, approach this from the stand point that people deal with stress in different ways. Some let it burn inside and or release it in a manner hidden from others, some go insane and become a story line on CSI or Criminal Minds.

Let's try to look at this objectively...everyone, from all sides.

We don't know what happened one way or the other behind closed doors, but we have a mother who expresses regret over the incident - says it wasn't intentional - and a young man who pitched a fit at his grandmother's funeral and thinks that is justified due to his problems with the family.

Just falling back to a previous point. The mother is expressing regret publicly over this for forgetting her own flesh and blood. I guess I just have a hard time handling a mother forgetting about anything to do with her own children. Especially a time when she loses her own mother and how her kids might take it when she finally passes on. Of course some people just have humanity programmed out of their being over time based on the environment they are in. And yes...the guy should have handled himself better, but the stressers might have just been too much and we don't know the fine details of the entire story.

Gay people have their baggage just like everyone else. Just because they are gay and haven't had an easy time of it doesn't mean it's okay to be asses at their grandmother's funeral and jerk women (and children) around by pretending to be heterosexual. He sounds utterly self absorbed, to me, and I've been around enough gay people with difficult family situations to recognise a jerk when I see one.

Perhaps it just goes back to the environment. Yes gay people all have their baggage. It starts the moment they realize who they are attracted to and the ensuing bullying, harassment, jokes, and discrimination that comes with it. We don't know the particulars of how this family behaves behind closed doors. Perhaps there are cases of abuse, mental or physical, that could come into play here. Perhaps the family pressure on who the grandfather was and such was a major driver in why he hid his true sexuality for years. While not cutting him any slack on his personality and how he handles himself now, which sure...he might be a jerk or whatever, but I have a feeling the source for a lot of that can be traced back to the family and how they treat each other and were raised.

[Bunty]

Maybe the family would have like to have accepted the grandson but feared the repercussions, if they did, with that being it would imply to supporters that the Oral Roberts organization tolerates homosexuality and so money flowing in would drop along with fewer students enrolling at the university. But then hasn't respect for the Oral Roberts organization never been the same since the City of Faith closed?

[soonerguru]

This is what we have become as a society? Public melt downs by grown men because their crappy family (I'll give him the benefit on that) don't let him sit with the family. Sorry, there are some things that are an insult to the departed's memory and that is one of them. If he is so out of control of his emotions, perhaps he shouldn't have attended. I am not saying it wasn't painful - of course it was. I am saying he clearly thought his own pain was more important than honoring his beloved Grandmother. The whole purpose of the funeral was to pay his respects to his grandmother - his poor relationship with his family was NOT the bigger issue. We can't choose our families but we ARE responsible for our own behavior. If he were 10, that would be one thing. This was a grown man creating a public spectacle at his grandmother's funeral because he was mad/hurt by his parents. He ought to be ashamed of himself. That he was in great pain is no excuse. He sounds mentally unstable, to me.

This sounds like Dr. Laura, who doesn't seem to have much compassion for other human beings. It also seems like a weird, knee-jerk response.

[MikeOKC]

And this is a story because he is the grandson of Oral Roberts. To me, this is one of those, "Why Is This News?" kind of things.

[PennyQuilts]

This sounds like Dr. Laura, who doesn't seem to have much compassion for other human beings. It also seems like a weird, knee-jerk response.

Well, soonerguru, I've been at more than one funeral where the police had to be called when the survivors couldn't act like adults for an afternoon. It's ridiculous. People tend to get emotional when they are in such situations, granted, but that is when adults you dig down and consider how your actions are going to affect other people. The fact that he is gay and estranged from his family is no excuse. To suggest gay people should be held to a different standard than other people is not something I understand. You suggest I lack compassion because what he did strikes me as outrageous. Broaden your scope.

What sort of compassion did he show his mother at the funeral? Were his children there? How did that affect them? We have no idea how he handled breaking up with his wife when he dumped her after three children but it sounds like it was ugly. There are lots of reasons that families are dysfunctional and this crowd seems to want to paint his family with a mean brush and give him a complete pass. They assume it is all about his being gay and their disapproval. This is a guy who deceived a woman and them dumped her after having three children. Not a nice guy and just because he is was "confused" doesn't give him the right to wreck the lives of people around him without someone noticing. In most families estranged over the issue of a gay family member it isn't all about being gay and not liking gay people, 99% of the time. The outrageous choices he made are bound to cause bad feelings. Talk about compassion - how do you think his kids felt? Do they not count? Don't you think their grandparents would be upset with him for jerking the kids around - regardless of the reason? How can this crowd ignore all this and give him a complete pass? This isn't an 18 year old run out of the family when he came out of the closet at age 18. This is a grown man who dumped his wife and three kids when he came out and then came to his grandmother's funeral and caused a scene.

Really. And I am the one not showing compassion?

The attitudes taken by some on this thread seem to be rooted in the fact that he is gay and his family is fundamentalist. We don't know much more than that he dumped his wife and kids. We don't know how he handled his divorce or if it contributed to his estrangement from his family. We DO know that his mother has a completely different version of the story and we also know that the family estrangement took place before the funeral. Knowing that, he still waltzed in, demanded his rights to sit with the family and acted like a class A jerk. This isn't about lack of compassion on my part. It is about noting a utter lack of consideration and maturity on his. If life is crappy to you, the place to object is NOT at your grandmother's funeral. Unless you are a jerk. The fact that they didn't approve of a gay lifestyle isn't license to act like that. And the gay issue, seems to me, is just the excuse he is using to act like a jerk at Grandma's funeral.

[Thunder]

I don't think Penny realize that the family can say anything to appear "good" and attempt to make that cute guy look bad.

[ljbab728]

[QUOTE=PennyQuilts;449393] We don't know much more than that he dumped his wife and kids. [QUOTE]

PQ, that's a strange statement to make. Does the fact that a gay man decided that it would be better to get a divorce than continuing a false relationship mean he dumped his wife? Would he or his wife have been better off continuing that relationship? Is there any indication that she wanted to remain married even knowing that he was gay? And to state that he dumped his kids is a totally false statement. He and his ex-wife have joint custody.

This is an interesting link giving a little more about his perspective. I never realized that Oral had a gay son who commited suicide.

http://arayinthelife.blogspot.com/20...-grandson.html

Please watch the full video and note his concerns about the courts deciding that a gay man should not raise kids. He doesn't come across as anyone trying to dump his kids.

[Thunder]

lololol

He did not dump his wife and kids. I'm starting to view Penny differently now. :-(

They tried to make it work. Penny, you don't know...not now, not ever...what goes on in a personal...private marriage.

I think it was great that they went their separate ways very peacefully and remains to be friends and share custody.

[Bunty]

And this is a story because he is the grandson of Oral Roberts. To me, this is one of those, "Why Is This News?" kind of things.

Simply because a well known Christian organization that's not known to be tolerate of gays actually has a gay person within the family.

[PennyQuilts]

It is one thing for a young person to be confused. It is another thing to marry and bring three children into this world and then suddenly get some sort of revelation that you are gay. Some in this crowd think that because he was so horribly treated by the awful fundamentalists because he is gay that he should not be accountable for his actions. He is a victim, after all. He deserves happiness and any unhappiness he spreads - including to his innocent children - is not his fault and justified, somehow. Blame his parents or Oral Roberts if anyone needs to be blamed. Hey, even blame his wife if you can figure out a way to do it. In fact, the whole tone of this thread lays the misery this young man has brought to others at their feet.

That scenario goes against anything claimed in on this board about gays knowing they are gay since they are little. If that is true (and I personally believe it is), he was incredibly selfish to marry and have children, make promises he didn't keep and for that matter, once the damage was done, abandon his family in his own quest for happiness.

No, he shouldn't have married. But he was a grown man when he did it and I don't believe for an instant that he didn't know he was using that women as a cover. Yes, he was raised to think being gay was wrong but two wrongs don't make a right. It isn't easy to feel like you have to make that choice, I get that, but men of good character have dealt with it since the beginning of time. Once he went down that path, especially after having children, he needed to consider their happiness and the fact that he created the situation that ended up bringing misery to them.

Should he have stayed married? Probably not if he couldn't keep his vows and lacked the dedication to live as the heterosexual married person he'd claimed to be. His wife certainly deserved better but stuff happens. How can people overlook that he completely screwed her over in HIS quest for happiness? Think about where she goes from here with three children, her grief at the loss of what he told her he was and the notoriety that comes with being married to a gay person who goes obnoxiously public. IMO, once he decided to live the gay lifestyle, the kindest thing he could have done was to quietly try to make up for the pain he'd caused and not bring attention to himself. But no. This is a guy who not only harms his family, he thinks not sitting with his birth family gives him the moral authority to pitch a fit at his grandmother's funeral.

My point is that this guy has been a selfish mess for a long time. Some want to isolate his behavior and lay it at the feet of the "abuse" he received by virtue of being gay in a fundamentalist family. Don't buy it. That may be part of it but only part and seems to me this guy is trying to justify every crappy thing he ever did with his life by pointing the finger at others. I wouldn't make a big deal of it - would just shrug and say there are personality disorders all among us - except that I hate to see people with a pro gay/anti christian agenda completey twist sparse facts to advance a story, any story, to support their position. This jerk is NOT the poster child for gay people abused by christians. There are plenty of worthwhile individuals who struggled with being gay coming from a fundamentalist background who managed to maintain their integrity, kindness and dignity. I want to hear about those guys. Not some selfcentered jerk who is interesting only because he came from a high profile family. His example just makes gay people look bad.

[Mr T]

Sorry to post and run yesterday. The air conditioner died a sudden and tragic death, necessitating a trip to Sears for More Power.