Well, I'm new to this, being single, that is. I don't have any idea what to do next. Any suggestions?

Just go with the flow and enjoy it....I used to think being single was the end of the world but when I opened my eyes and started thinking with the right head again it really is nice...I guess what I am trying to say here is dont look to the future make the best of today...tomorrow will be another today and make that better.

You're new to this?

You mean, you came right out of the womb and into a relationship? Quick worker.

Well, I'm new to this, being single, that is. I don't have any idea what to do next. Any suggestions?

Tell us a little about yourself....

First things first.. maybe take stock on what you want out of life and out of a relationship/friendship.

We spend a good majority of our lives trying to make someone else happy.. sounds like it might be your turn to focus on finding out what makes you happy.

There are a lot of good people here.. you'll find a lot of friends.

Or you might be called "obsessed"... or a man-basher.... ;)

But let's just stay positive and assume you'll make friends.

Welcome to the boards, BTW.

I've never misunderstood your posts Tracy, anyone.....if they reach hard enough....can find anything wrong with anything that anyone writes, I wouldn't worry about it. You put yourself out there and say what you feel at the time. I think your post are pretty grooovy!

Marc?....first things first!

1.) pee with the bathroom door open.
2.) leave your lights on all over the house
3.) dance to some cheezy 80's song in your living room.
4.) go shopping! (you have more money now)
5.) remove anything pink or turquoise from your home.

Let us know how these go

Stay cool!

Marc?....first things first!

1.) pee with the bathroom door open.
2.) leave your lights on all over the house
3.) dance to some cheezy 80's song in your living room.
4.) go shopping! (you have more money now)
5.) remove anything pink or turquoise from your home.

Let us know how these go

Stay cool!

Exactly....:congrats:

I've never misunderstood your posts Tracy, anyone.....if they reach hard enough....can find anything wrong with anything that anyone writes, I wouldn't worry about it. You put yourself out there and say what you feel at the time. I think your post are pretty grooovy!

LOL, thanks. Actually, that was just a playful jab at SweetSourPoke...

ive been single for a year now.

I've been without a boyfriend (or anybody that stuck around for more than two dates, for that matter) for about 3 1/2 years now. I've never been married, so I guess really I've ALWAYS been single.

Thanks everyone, I was feeling a little overwhelmed at the time I posted. I guess reality set in. Anyway, just wanted to say thanks.

Oh, I also wanted to say that I don't have anything pink or turquoise. I gave her everything, including the house. Its easier to start over than to fight over possesions.

Hey Marc, welcome...

Most of us have felt exactly what you're feeling or close to it.. it is a bit of a shock. A breakup can be really painful and in the beginning, most people are in a daze.

As with anything though, time does heal.

And you will feel better.. and most likely, you will find much happiness with the person you were supposed to be with all along.

Hang in there and give yourself some time ..

I did the same thing Marc, I took $40 out of our huge bank account and left with just my necessities...even gave him the dogs, slept on my mother's couch for a couple of months and things just got normal again. He wouldn't have gone to battle over anything, I just didn't have anywhere to put anything, so why take anything...it was just easier to me to start from scratch.

I couldn't leave my dog there, she hated him, so I guess I got the most important thing.

Its been a little over a year since I posted this. I have to say that things are much better now. I've figured out my priorities. Some might say that I've become a workaholic, I think I just found that its much easier to stay busy than to deal with any type of relationship. Besides, working 7 days a week at 14+ hours a day isn't so bad, I don't have to go home to an empty house. I found a family that would take my dog, so he is happy now too.

Marc,

Thanks for the update, I've ofen wondered how it all turned out for you. Glad to hear you are coping.

re Working.... Stash all your cash away and when you find the woman of your dreams, you'll be able to have a financially secure life together.

I'm completely the opposite, I find it hard to be in a relationship when I think there is something better out there... or it could be a fear of commitment.. I don't know, I just have one life to live and I don't want to look back on it forty years from now and ask my self why.

All I can add is that your perspective changes as you get older. I think it gets easier. I don't know how long you were in the relationship that ended last year but I'd give myself a couple of years to have things back to normal, financially and otherwise. I bet you were smart to kind of take it easy and not be too much of a jerk about the whole thing. If you are young enough, most "things" can be replaced. You'll sure want back time wasted fussing over stuff, though. Doesn't sound like there were kids so chances are, no matter what, you are better off than you were, say, a year and a half ago. Congrats!

mmonroe, I don't know how old you are but if you are looking 40 years into the future (I'll no doubt be pushing up daisies by then), sounds like you are relatively young. Your not-ready-for-commitment attitude may be pretty typical for your age. When the time is right, if you find the right person, chances are you will feel differently. Dunno.

21...

21, eh? Well you sound like you are just about where you ought to be. You aren't afraid of commitment - it is just that you are 21. If you still feel that way in 10 years, it raises the question - maybe. At 21? Nope. 21 year old males SHOULD be single and checking out what is out there. No female who is thinking straight wants to be in a relationship with a 21 year old guy, anyway! :) (because they tend to be busy checking out what else is out there).

I could follow friends and date the "Fresh out of highschool" kind of girls... not my flavor.

Wow, at 21, I had been married for three years and was stationed at Kadena in Okinawa. With in 3 weeks of graduating highschool, I got married and joined the USMC.

My little step brother, just turned 18 3 months ago, just had a daughter two weeks ago, and is enlisting in the USMC... havn't heard anything about marriage.

At 21 I'd been married 5 years and was expecting my 3rd child (of course, I'm female but thought I'd throw that in). I'm not saying that some men aren't the type to settle down at that age but the majority aren't ready, yet. And I wouldn't worry or apologize or feel weird about it as long as you're honest about your intentions. Integrity matters, no matter the age.

At 21 I was out dancing the night away with my friends.... but I had been in a longterm relationship prior to that for about 5 years! I started young.. he was a little older..

Anyway, I got married at 24 - going on 20 years this August.

I think it's a good idea to enjoy being single and young....

Well, I def enjoy myself. Party with friends, both guys and gals. I was in a 4 year relationship in junior high/high school, but that was about it. I've dated off and on, but non of those girls I could see myself settling down with.

If you can't see yourself settling down with one, listen to your gut. When you meet the right one, you'll know.

If you are not happy being single you will not be happy in any relationship.

It is like dumbo thinking he needs a feather, you don't need a girlfriend.

When you are young, anything you could want from a girl you can get MORE of when you are single. Anything you don't like about a girl, you'll get LESS of when you are single.

Hooking up is just a way to cut your losses or maybe start a family, all stuff you should save for when you are older.