View Full Version : You women are crazy....



dismayed
12-25-2006, 02:53 PM
It is so much easier for you to meet a guy than it is for a guy to meet a girl. If you seriously don't know how to do this, here are some tips:

1. If you see a guy ANYWHERE that you like... the supermarket, in line at the movies, a bar, etc. stare at him until he looks you in the eye... and SMILE. That's it! That's all you really have to do!

2. If this doesn't get him to walk over to you and say hi, then do it yourself. If that's too aggressive for you, then find an excuse to stand NEAR him. For example, if he's setting at a bar, go stand right next to him and order a drink. At some point he is going to look your way. When he does, say hi or make some funny comment or generic observation.

3. Have a conversation. If he asks you something, don't say "yep." Respond with a few sentences, give him something to work with so he knows you are interested.

4. If you have a conversation and he still doesn't ask for your number he's either dating someone, not interested, or just a d-bag. Move on. Unless you are just nuts for him, then ask for his number. Who cares, it's the 21st century, be a tiger.

Tracy
12-25-2006, 03:03 PM
Why would I want someone who isn't interested enough in me to be a little more aggressive? Why would I want a man who has to be stared at, approached, chatted up and asked out?

A normal man has the natural "hunter" instinct... that's why normal men love sports, competitive business and/or fighting. They like to take control and be a conqueror. Why would I want a man who is passive and needs someone to do all the work for him? Besides, if he were really, truly interested in me, he would make an effort to let me know in some way, even if through a third party.

windowphobe
12-25-2006, 05:37 PM
Besides, I suspect the average guy underestimates his timidity: were she to amble up to him in a supermarket aisle and give him a come-hither look, he'd probably flee to the frozen foods without even looking back.

Tracy
12-25-2006, 06:05 PM
I guess I should add a couple of things that I feel need to be mentioned:

I have done what "dismayed" has described, many times. The general reaction I have gotten from men is fear, confusion, annoyance and dismissal. When the average woman takes this approach with the average man, he usually decides she's psycho, a wannabe stalker, desperate or slutty. I'm not saying it's right... I'm just relaying the information I've received from others. The men I've spoken to about this have all said the same thing: if he likes you, he'll let you know. You don't have to do much to get him to approach IF you're his "type" and IF he's interested in dating someone at the moment.

StephiOKC
12-26-2006, 04:28 PM
Tracy you are right, Men need to step up to the plate and start taking back their manhood. Women chasing men.....something we are not really interested in. I have no problems talking to anyone....like you said most men look like a deer in the headlights when you start a conversation. Sad to me.

Leon
12-26-2006, 04:52 PM
Men approach women not because they are "competitive". It's because, truth be told, men want a relationship more than women do.

StephiOKC
12-26-2006, 05:07 PM
You are right Leon men do not approach woman for "competitvie" side...most dont approach anymore.....Men want a relationship? the "shyness" must be a sign of flirtation! hehe!
Doubt it.

dismayed
12-26-2006, 07:20 PM
There's a subtle way to do what I described above, and the example given definitally wasn't it. Every girl I know, knows how to flash a smile and flick their hair back and then turn away to get a guys attention.

I dropped in here and noticed the pitty-party going on and thought I'd throw in my two cents. The truth is if you're waiting for life to come and sweep you away, you will probably be waiting for a long time.

Tracy
12-26-2006, 09:42 PM
Well, don't let me keep your investment in hostage. Here...
http://mud.mm-a2.yimg.com/image/2325428943

You might be needing this later.

Leon
12-27-2006, 12:07 AM
You are right Leon men do not approach woman for "competitvie" side...most dont approach anymore.....Men want a relationship? the "shyness" must be a sign of flirtation! hehe!
Doubt it.

Don't blame the fellas. Maybe they are reactive in nature; maybe their behavior is a result of their environment.

Men today are constantly bombarded with sexual harrassment training, diversity training, sensitivity awareness education, etc. If they don't make a pass at you, MAYBE it's because society has told them that society is fed up with their "one-track-mind".

A by-product of political correctness....men behaving as they've been taught to.

StephiOKC
12-27-2006, 04:18 AM
Don't blame the fellas. Maybe they are reactive in nature; maybe their behavior is a result of their environment.

Men today are constantly bombarded with sexual harrassment training, diversity training, sensitivity awareness education, etc. If they don't make a pass at you, MAYBE it's because society has told them that society is fed up with their "one-track-mind".

A by-product of political correctness....men behaving as they've been taught to.

What a lame excuse......

TomGirl
12-27-2006, 05:16 AM
Men used to be men and women used to be women, it's not even near the case now. Nobody really knows their roles anymore. I try to be the "woman" and this ends up more like a lesbian relationship. The women that whined about their man going hunting twice in one week or scratching themselves in public....well....look what we have now.... just like global warming, we girls, not the boys, have shifted the mindset of mankind. Women who were fine with the way things were are now griping about "unfair" things and men and men covered in tattoos are conviced they love the movie Moonstruck. Men are growing up less likely to ever touch a car motor, work in yards and not learning to make decisions. You have women taking over a lot of fields that used to be primarily male fields and we are slowly turning men into dependents. With a lot of women making more than a lot of men, how is it so easy for them to approach us? In these days, women really have to do the approaching now and we need to learn how to do this because the men will simply not do this anymore....we can whine about it all we want, but the fact is, we baked all of this up with out a solid receipe.

StephiOKC
12-27-2006, 05:40 AM
I do agree with you Tomgirl, I have done much of the approaching ,I would say over 95% in the last 3 years with my relationships. And yes it ends up with the woman as the "head of the household" . Not what I want though. I can say that. I want a man to take the roles and responsibilties , "take charge" in the relationship. Plain and simple. Maybe that is the pipe dream, but it is one I would like to have.

Tracy
12-27-2006, 05:59 AM
Men used to be men and women used to be women, it's not even near the case now. Nobody really knows their roles anymore. I try to be the "woman" and this ends up more like a lesbian relationship. The women that whined about their man going hunting twice in one week or scratching themselves in public....well....look what we have now.... just like global warming, we girls, not the boys, have shifted the mindset of mankind. Women who were fine with the way things were are now griping about "unfair" things and men and men covered in tattoos are conviced they love the movie Moonstruck. Men are growing up less likely to ever touch a car motor, work in yards and not learning to make decisions. You have women taking over a lot of fields that used to be primarily male fields and we are slowly turning men into dependents. With a lot of women making more than a lot of men, how is it so easy for them to approach us? In these days, women really have to do the approaching now and we need to learn how to do this because the men will simply not do this anymore....we can whine about it all we want, but the fact is, we baked all of this up with out a solid receipe.

Well, I understand where you're coming from, but given the scenario you described (which, BTW, I mostly agree with)... why would I WANT to approach any of these men?

Karried
12-27-2006, 06:39 AM
Women who were fine with the way things were are now griping about "unfair" things


Some of those unfair things you are referring to are women not getting paid as much as a man, just because she was a woman. A women getting the crap beat out of her and living a life of terror and abuse because " he was the man of the house". Women and children living in poverty because the bread winner was a man and didn't want his wife to work (until he left her for his secretary of course) Women didn't have their own credit cards, money, retirement, they had to ask for money and account for every penny being spent .. because the man was 'head of the household'... a four course dinner was supposed to be ready on the table, kid's quiet, house clean..while the man waltzed in to a waiting martini and lounged in the recliner all night while the woman cleaned up, got the kids ready for bed etc etc.

Why wouldn't some women complain about things being unfair?

Things have shifted to more equality in relationships. It's not the man nor the woman who should have all of the control in the relationship.. it's a partnership with both parties having a say in the decision making.

I'm not sure why women who try to talk to a man are instantly considered 'aggressive or dominate'? What ever happened to mutual interest and attraction? Why should one person have to pursue and risk rejection while the other stands by helplessly.

It's your life and your desire to have a relationship, don't wait on the sidelines waiting for Prince Charming .. go out and get him. :kicking:

Deni
12-27-2006, 06:59 AM
I have noticed when a man gives his thoughts on single life and tells women how men feel he gets bashed on here. Being a woman we have fought for equal rights, more money in "men's fields", and the status of being taken seriously. Now we are complaining that men might be threatned with out new "POWER" Oh my heck. I am not single I am in a long term dating relationship. I do not want to get married. But I lived in that single life. I went after the man I have and we have been together a long time. Most "MEN" are not threatened when we smile at them, approach them, show them that we are interested. The men that are put off if you do that prolly aint a man that anyone else wants. Join a church singles group, take dancing lessons, do something that "woah makes you happy, then I bet when your happy within yourself the right man comes along. I promised myself 3 things.

1. I will always fullfil my own heart first.

2. I will never settle.

3. I won't look to anyone to take care of me.

I know this sounds like I am bashing women now, but that is far from the truth. I am just saying, put yourself first. Then watch how many real men are attracted to you. Here is some other rules I learned in the single life.

always be ready to go. Never leave the house looking unkept or like a couch potato. If you do not wear makeup, at least make yourself presentable, no one looks good as a slob.Look in the mirror at least 3 times before you leave your house. and last but not least ALWAYS WEAR CLEAN UNDERWEAR. I learned that from an allergic reaction...just kidding. my mom told me that I just thought it was cute. When you want something and don't need it, it truly makes a relationship better. Babies NEED their mommies, You want your MAN.
never settle for the one you can live with, love the one you can't live without.

Easy180
12-27-2006, 07:17 AM
It may just also be many single guys are content being single and don't want to go through all the "fun" of dating...I was in no hurry and got married just shy of 30...I didn't go out looking to pick up anyone in my single years as I just went out for fun

So guys not approaching you ladies may not mean they are wusses....It may just simply mean they have no interest in getting in a relationship and are just out for beers with the guys...Simple as that

bandnerd
12-27-2006, 07:37 AM
Dismayed--

My experience with men is that they don't always notice those "subtle" hints as easily as you evidently do. Sometimes you have to take the bull by the horns, so to speak.

StephiOKC
12-27-2006, 07:41 AM
Easy180, I have heard that from more than one man. Interesting as it is. Everyone says they want a relationship but they dont want to work for one. I know that I will not have a great man come to my house and ring the doorbell, ring in hand. I am a go getter, so yes I have taken my life in my hands.

StephiOKC
12-27-2006, 07:53 AM
Reading some of the posts I guess I should just say, that I guess some think that single women are just fat slobs sitting at home eating bon bons and crying over not finding "prince charming" (Sorry he does not exsist.)
I can say I have done the single groups ( rip off) and the online dating (current member) and that, no men do not show must interest in dating. One thing I am not willing to do....give up. Not in my nature. So I will keep on searching....and I will be looking for a good man that wants a partnership in life, and can take on the responsilblity of being in the household as a man. Just because I want that does not mean that I want the "cleaver" household as described above. Just that I want a man to be a man.

Curt
12-27-2006, 08:05 AM
Men approach women not because they are "competitive". It's because, truth be told, men want a relationship more than women do.

Amen brother...

Curt
12-27-2006, 08:13 AM
[QUOTE=HOTTCUTZ;79700] Being a woman we have fought for equal rights, more money in "men's fields", and the status of being taken seriously. QUOTE]


Exactly why women should approach men just as much as men should approach women.

Curt
12-27-2006, 08:18 AM
Dismayed--

My experience with men is that they don't always notice those "subtle" hints as easily as you evidently do. Sometimes you have to take the bull by the horns, so to speak.


Oh yes we do...most men have just been burned so many times by acting on the assumption that a woman is interested that they dont act anymore because they know the end result.

bandnerd
12-27-2006, 09:00 AM
Ah, so they just ignore the subtle hints, but then complain when women take the first step?

Curt
12-27-2006, 09:06 AM
Ah, so they just ignore the subtle hints, but then complain when women take the first step?


I have never heard one guy complain when a woman made the first move but I have heard so many women complain that this guy or that guy is a pig because we looked at them the "wrong" way...doesnt matter that they were wearing shorts with something written across the butt or that they were wearing a shirt that was two sizes to small you will still complain that you are given the attention you are looking for that men are pigs.

Tracy
12-27-2006, 09:08 AM
I've heard a lot of men complain when a woman makes the first move. They say it emasculates them and makes them feel like prey.

Curt
12-27-2006, 09:08 AM
Guys where I live want women to make the first move but then again here if you dont drive a BMW or a Mercedes or are Arab or Black you dont have a prayer of meeting a women...sad but true different parts of the country are different when it comes to meeting the opposite sex

Leon
12-27-2006, 10:19 AM
Men used to be men and women used to be women, it's not even near the case now. Nobody really knows their roles anymore. I try to be the "woman" and this ends up more like a lesbian relationship. The women that whined about their man going hunting twice in one week or scratching themselves in public....well....look what we have now.... just like global warming, we girls, not the boys, have shifted the mindset of mankind. Women who were fine with the way things were are now griping about "unfair" things and men and men covered in tattoos are conviced they love the movie Moonstruck. Men are growing up less likely to ever touch a car motor, work in yards and not learning to make decisions. You have women taking over a lot of fields that used to be primarily male fields and we are slowly turning men into dependents. With a lot of women making more than a lot of men, how is it so easy for them to approach us? In these days, women really have to do the approaching now and we need to learn how to do this because the men will simply not do this anymore....we can whine about it all we want, but the fact is, we baked all of this up with out a solid receipe.

Well said...same point I was trying to make.

Leon
12-27-2006, 10:30 AM
Some of those unfair things you are referring to are women not getting paid as much as a man, just because she was a woman. A women getting the crap beat out of her and living a life of terror and abuse because " he was the man of the house". Women and children living in poverty because the bread winner was a man and didn't want his wife to work (until he left her for his secretary of course) Women didn't have their own credit cards, money, retirement, they had to ask for money and account for every penny being spent .. because the man was 'head of the household'... a four course dinner was supposed to be ready on the table, kid's quiet, house clean..while the man waltzed in to a waiting martini and lounged in the recliner all night while the woman cleaned up, got the kids ready for bed etc etc.

Footnote of contention: If women actually produced the same work for lower wages emplyers would be lined up to hire them.

You make this sound as if every man beats his wife if dinner isn't ready when he gets home. That happens but it was never the norm.



Why wouldn't some women complain about things being unfair?

Things have shifted to more equality in relationships. It's not the man nor the woman who should have all of the control in the relationship.. it's a partnership with both parties having a say in the decision making.

I'm not sure why women who try to talk to a man are instantly considered 'aggressive or dominate'? What ever happened to mutual interest and attraction? Why should one person have to pursue and risk rejection while the other stands by helplessly.

It's your life and your desire to have a relationship, don't wait on the sidelines waiting for Prince Charming .. go out and get him. :kicking:

Karried
12-27-2006, 11:09 AM
Leon, I'm so confused. I'm talking about the 1930-60's - not current affairs!

Are you saying you would welcome the days of women not having any rights? Caveman style, barefoot and pregnant? Men were men and women were women? What!?

I'm happy to have some say in my life without signing away my 'rights' to a man.. and I welcome mutual responsibility and partnering.. we are a team.. no one has more rights in our household.. we try to base it on mutual respect and shared duties.

I don't really judge people based on who asked who out first.. I think a woman should be able to go up and talk to a man without her being ostracized and should be able to go up and talk to a man without people thinking she is a slut. It's called equality.

I'm glad that women have more rights than in the 'olden' days where men were the king of the castle..

Of course, I'm not saying that every woman was treated that way or abused, but for those that were, they had no avenues or alternatives. Now they do. They can work and provide for themselves and children. Much better in my opinion..

Tracy
12-27-2006, 11:26 AM
karried, I do understand what you are saying (you too, Dismayed). I really "get it", even if I don't practice it at present.

I wish things were more equal too, but just based on my experiences and the experiences of other women, it always seems to be better when the man shows initial interest. I've had men tell me that the only reason they went out with me (when I asked them out) is because they had been having no luck with women and they were so excited to know that at least one woman found them attractive that they jumped at the chance to go out with ANYONE. They weren't into me... they were into the idea of having a woman who was into THEM. Still other men admitted that they agreed to go out with me because they didn't want to hurt my feelings by saying "no".

These are men who would normally do the approaching. When the tables were turned on them, they handled it badly. I know that women sometimes do this same thing to men, and I don't think that's right either. But for some reason it seems to go a lot better when the man sees a woman, likes what he sees, and makes his mind up to go after what he wants. It just feels more natural all the way around.

Curt
12-27-2006, 11:55 AM
Men used to be men and women used to be women, it's not even near the case now. Nobody really knows their roles anymore. I try to be the "woman" and this ends up more like a lesbian relationship. The women that whined about their man going hunting twice in one week or scratching themselves in public....well....look what we have now.... just like global warming, we girls, not the boys, have shifted the mindset of mankind. Women who were fine with the way things were are now griping about "unfair" things and men and men covered in tattoos are conviced they love the movie Moonstruck. Men are growing up less likely to ever touch a car motor, work in yards and not learning to make decisions. You have women taking over a lot of fields that used to be primarily male fields and we are slowly turning men into dependents. With a lot of women making more than a lot of men, how is it so easy for them to approach us? In these days, women really have to do the approaching now and we need to learn how to do this because the men will simply not do this anymore....we can whine about it all we want, but the fact is, we baked all of this up with out a solid receipe.

Thank you.....Point is people of different genders will always bash one another because of our different ways of thinking and I have no problem with a female doing the same job as I do for equal compensation as I get as long as she is just as qualified..in fact alot of females do better work then men do..but if females want this equality thing then it is also up to the female to pursue the man and do anything else men are expected to do without bitching about it.

Tracy
12-27-2006, 12:02 PM
Ah, but you are assuming that ALL women want equality. Not all of us do. Some of us actually wish things could go back to the way they were 50 years ago. I am completely serious about this. I wish I had the option to get married, have kids and be a traditional housewife. I don't need "feminism" and "equality" to be happy and secure in life.

We're not all burning our bras and clanging our pots and pans together in angry solidarity in defense of feminism.

Curt
12-27-2006, 12:07 PM
Ah, but you are assuming that ALL women want equality. Not all of us do. Some of us actually wish things could go back to the way they were 50 years ago. I am completely serious about this. I wish I had the option to get married, have kids and be a traditional housewife. I don't need "feminism" and "equality" to be happy and secure in life.

We're not all burning our bras and clanging our pots and pans together in angry solidarity in defense of feminism.


And you are exactly what most men I know want..a traditional housewife who will stay home and raise the kids and not have some daycare raise them..I admire you for that...however that still does not mean you have to give in when he wants sex and you dont and it still does not mean after work he gets to come home and sit on his ass and do nothing...it is still a 50/50 thing

Tracy
12-27-2006, 02:06 PM
What you are describing is actually a tiny bit unbalanced. Let me explain....

If I were a stay-at-home wife/mother (and it's not easy to do that nowadays... the economy is fueled by households with two incomes, but for the sake of argument let's say we could swing it), I would not expect my husband to pitch in with housework after working all day. That would be MY job. That's the job I would have while I was at home. Likewise, as far as sex is concerned, I have a ... um... well, let's just say I better have a serious medical issue that would prevent me from slapping on the Mickey Mouse ears and grabbing the jumper cables, because otherwise I'm down with it. So the whole idea of "give in when he wants sex and you don't" is most likely not an issue for me.

However, what you described is probably very accurate for some other couples.

Curt
12-27-2006, 02:54 PM
Ugh..I give up...LOL...no matter what I say women are just going to say I am wrong...so with that I will no longer reply.

bandnerd
12-27-2006, 03:46 PM
I'm going to say this:

There will always be differences between what women want, and what men want. Hell, even in those groups, not all women or men want the same thing! You all can sit here and gripe about how men suck, or women are manipulative...but you're making blanket generalizations that we all know do not apply to EVERYONE within either gender group.

When you find the right person, you find the right person. All that other bull gets put aside. I'm not perfect, and my husband most certainly isn't, either. No one is.

I can share how we met: A mutual friend (a fraternity brother of his with whom I shared a class) introduced us. There were no sparks...at least on my end. Evidently, dear hubby was quite taken with me from the get-go. I didn't give him another thought. Fast forward three months. I meet another fraternity brother of his. I start to become friends with all of them--they were good guys, and they let me play video games with them, so I started to hang out. Hubby and I started hanging out a little more together, engaging in some friendly banter sometimes on campus. Fast forward even further--three more months: I stop by the fraternity house, where his brother says to me, "Geez, bandnerd, you two are totally hot for each other, why don't you just go out already?" I had no idea hubby even liked me in anything other than a friendly way! He never hinted at anything...but then again, I'm clueless to receiving any kind of flirtation from men. I'm kind of oblivious. I've been called a flirt in my past, but I'm kind of like that with everyone.

I wasn't looking for someone, and neither was he. It just happened. There wasn't that weird "I'm trying to impress her by acting all macho" crap, and I wasn't playing hard to get. Neither of us was being assertive, or really even passive. It just worked, because it was right.

Now that you have had that look into my life, maybe you'll understand a little more about me and why I say the things I do here. You all can gripe about the other sex, but I think we all know that it's just griping, that maybe we don't really believe everything that comes out of our own mouths, and that we still have hope even if we say we have lost it all.

dismayed
12-27-2006, 05:36 PM
Dismayed--

My experience with men is that they don't always notice those "subtle" hints as easily as you evidently do. Sometimes you have to take the bull by the horns, so to speak.

Some guys can be dumb. :) There are a lot of guys out there though who can read body language and figure things out. A lot have been burned by chicks just wanting a free drink or a girl who's just fickle... e.g. "why doesn't he like me, I have to get him to notice me!" "Oh he likes me, that jerk who does he think he is."

Personally I don't see anything wrong with a girl who wants to be more aggressive anyway, it just kind of depends on the situation. Girls shouldn't pigeon-hole themselves into thinking they have to behave in a certain way in every situation. Same goes for guys as well. Just go with the flow I say. :)

Tracy
12-27-2006, 05:44 PM
Ugh..I give up...LOL...no matter what I say women are just going to say I am wrong...so with that I will no longer reply.

???????????

Where did you get the impression that I was saying you're wrong? Read my post again... I was (mostly) AGREEING with you. I never said you were wrong... I was only saying that there are many points of view, and your description covers some of them, but not all. It doesn't mean you're wrong... it just means that you got part of it right.

Everyone is different. Nobody can make one sweeping general statement and expect everyone on earth to fall under it.

Tracy
12-27-2006, 05:47 PM
I'm going to say this:

I can share how we met: A mutual friend (a fraternity brother of his with whom I shared a class) introduced us. There were no sparks...at least on my end. Evidently, dear hubby was quite taken with me from the get-go. I didn't give him another thought. Fast forward three months. I meet another fraternity brother of his. I start to become friends with all of them--they were good guys, and they let me play video games with them, so I started to hang out. Hubby and I started hanging out a little more together, engaging in some friendly banter sometimes on campus. Fast forward even further--three more months: I stop by the fraternity house, where his brother says to me, "Geez, bandnerd, you two are totally hot for each other, why don't you just go out already?" I had no idea hubby even liked me in anything other than a friendly way! He never hinted at anything...but then again, I'm clueless to receiving any kind of flirtation from men. I'm kind of oblivious. I've been called a flirt in my past, but I'm kind of like that with everyone.

I wasn't looking for someone, and neither was he. It just happened. There wasn't that weird "I'm trying to impress her by acting all macho" crap, and I wasn't playing hard to get. Neither of us was being assertive, or really even passive. It just worked, because it was right.

That was such a wonderful story. I wish I could meet someone like that... in such a natural way.

It was a wonderful story, but also rather sad. Thanks for sharing... now I'm feeling all emo and stuff.

StephiOKC
12-27-2006, 06:00 PM
Sad case and point , I think Tracy and I want the same things from a man. And we are getting labeled for it. Here is what I would like to have, a man that has the knowledge to run a household and wants to...that means..pays the bills, write the checks, make the money. I will clean the house, cook the meals, take care of the kids, and do it all with pride. Sex is another story.....I dont see me rejecting someone I marry........ So we would just like a man that has a take charge attitude. And Tracy is sooooo right, a man that approaches the woman is more likely to have the interest , keep the interest and things will turn out better. If woman approach, men tend to just go with it ( since they feel nothing better is coming around right now) ....then they tend to have a roaming eye , more likely to meet someone else, and run off. I have seen that firsthand.
So what is wrong with men taking the interest in woman and walking up and saying........Hello!

Tracy
12-27-2006, 06:12 PM
Women who were fine with the way things were are now griping about "unfair" things and men and men covered in tattoos are conviced they love the movie Moonstruck.


Mmmmm... Nicolas Cage.

:idhitit:

Tracy
12-27-2006, 06:25 PM
always be ready to go. Never leave the house looking unkept or like a couch potato. If you do not wear makeup, at least make yourself presentable, no one looks good as a slob.Look in the mirror at least 3 times before you leave your house. and last but not least ALWAYS WEAR CLEAN UNDERWEAR. I learned that from an allergic reaction...just kidding. my mom told me that I just thought it was cute. When you want something and don't need it, it truly makes a relationship better. Babies NEED their mommies, You want your MAN.
never settle for the one you can live with, love the one you can't live without.

WOW.... is this what I've been doing wrong all this time??? That whole "wash rinse and repeat" thing trips me up like a crooked rug in Helen Keller's bedroom. And the clean underwear thing... DAAAAAAAYUM. All this time my mamma's been telling me cooter stank is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

(smacks self on forehead)

Karried
12-27-2006, 06:33 PM
Sad case and point , I think Tracy and I want the same things from a man. And we are getting labeled for it.


Okay, I can see what you mean.. I think most people want the same thing.. to be loved and respected.. sometimes taken care of.. but really, I think more than anything is the idea that you feel confident to say to a man, ' hi ' or any conversation starter and not sit and wait for a man to approach you.

You probably have no idea of how many men would love the chance to get to know you if you took the initiative.. Long ago, when I was single.. all I did was go out dancing with my girlfriends.. we didn't care if guys asked us to dance or not.. we went on the dance floor and danced like crazy.. and loved every minute of it... of course, within a few minutes, we had guys wanting to dance with us .. We were laughing and having fun with or without 'men' so I think that was attractive to others who wanted to have a good time.

But, I didn't meet my husband of almost 20 years at a bar though.. I was at a lake with my cousin and he was there jetskiing with friends.. he came up out of the water and I almost died .. his hair was back and his eyes were so beautiful.. they still are.. we started talking - I have never been shy - we clicked and he called the next day a few times...and after both of us wrapped up some loose ends.. translation.. we were both 'casually' dating other people.. we started seeing each other exclusively and we were engaged within six months, married a year and a half later and will celebrate 19 years of marriage this August.

Tracy
12-27-2006, 06:38 PM
Okay, I can see what you mean.. I think most people want the same thing.. to be loved and respected.. sometimes taken care of.. but really, I think more than anything is the idea that you feel confident to say to a man, ' hi ' or any conversation starter and not sit and wait for a man to approach you.

You probably have no idea of how many men would love the chance to get to know you if you took the initiative.. Long ago, when I was single.. all I did was go out dancing with my girlfriends.. we didn't care if guys asked us to dance or not.. we went on the dance floor and danced like crazy.. and loved every minute of it... of course, within a few minutes, we had guys wanting to dance with us .. We were laughing and having fun with or without 'men' so I think that was attractive to others who wanted to have a good time.

But, I didn't meet my husband of almost 20 years at a bar though.. I was at a lake with my cousin and he was there jetskiing with friends.. he came up out of the water and I almost died .. his hair was back and his eyes were so beautiful.. they still are.. we started talking - I have never been shy - we clicked and he called the next day a few times...and after both of us wrapped up some loose ends.. translation.. we were both 'casually' dating other people.. we started seeing each other exclusively and we were engaged within six months, married a year and a half later and will celebrate 19 years of marriage this August.

That's a beautiful story, karried. Thanks for sharing.

I think some people are getting the impression that I'm on this manic hunt to get a man and reek with desperation... sitting on a bar stool every Friday and Saturday night, hungrily eyeing everything with a ***** that walks through the door. This is simply not the case. I DO go out and have fun! I do a LOT of things outside my home... fun social things... if you don't believe me, go to MySpace (http://blog.myspace.com/lavender_lily) and read my blog. It tells the whole story right there.

Yes, I'm lonely, but I don't sit around crying over it or acting out... I still live my life.

StephiOKC
12-27-2006, 06:40 PM
Hottcuttz.....thanks for the information, but i can say slob is one thing I am not. High class maybe......the underwear thing...dont have to worry, I dont wear any! Who does nowadays!!!

StephiOKC
12-27-2006, 06:54 PM
Karried no offense to you but dating now a days is soooo different from what you remember. I can say even in the last 5 years things have really changed! I am a very outgoing , happy person. I can talk to, and entertain just about anyone. One thing i have been told many times, I have the "gift for gab" ,I have that type of personality. Case and point with me, ( just come along on one of my nights out and I can prove this to you) men are not as likely to approach woman now a days. And when approached they show little to no interest, unless the "friends with benefits apply" They like to say that they only want to be "freinds" . Sorry I have more respect for myself than that. Not male bashing , just stating the facts. Raw and uncensored.

Curt
12-27-2006, 09:59 PM
Video


Dailymotion Share Your Videos (http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3knv_life-as-a-guy)

Karried
12-28-2006, 06:14 AM
Karried no offense to you but dating now a days is soooo different from what you remember. I can say even in the last 5 years things have really changed!


That's probably true .. but I still go out all the time with my husband and I see it all the time... I know men are attracted to women who are having fun, laughing and dancing.. I don't think that will ever change.

My mom is a very very young 'older' person.. in fact, she goes out all the time by herself. .. she has been happily single forever by her own choice, but she goes out dancing her butt off every Friday/Saturday and has met many friends and many men who ask her out. So, even though she is not 'young' she is fit, in shape and loves life, she has fun no matter what and doesn't go out with the intention of meeting anyone.. just to have fun. And it never fails, she meets someone who wants to take her out.. she usually says no. She likes her independence too much.

Tracy
12-28-2006, 06:21 AM
[QUOTE=Karried;79819]That's probably true .. but I still go out all the time with my husband and I see it all the time... I know men are attracted to women who are having fun, laughing and dancing.. I don't think that will ever change.[QUOTE]

Again, I say... I DO go out and have fun. Just read my blog. You'll see for yourself. I'm frolicking about like a rabbit hopped up on Mountain Dew in a fresh snow-kissed meadow. Go read. I beg of you. Read it!

Tell me where I'm going wrong with this. I'm workin' it, girlfriend.

"Tracy Gets Her Swerve On" (http://blog.myspace.com/lavender_lily)<-------------------

bandnerd
12-28-2006, 07:34 AM
Video


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Uh, bitter much?

I love how he walked right by the fat chick.

Karried
12-28-2006, 07:51 AM
Just read my blog. You'll see for yourself. I'm frolicking about like a rabbit hopped up on Mountain Dew in a fresh snow-kissed meadow. Go read. I beg of you. Read it!

Tell me where I'm going wrong with this. I'm workin' it, girlfriend.

You are a very creative writer and you interject plenty of humor into your writing.... honestly Tracy, looking at your pics and reading your blog.. I can't imagine why you are single.. you have a killer body, you're very cute and seem genuinely funny.. maybe you aren't hanging out at the right places?

We'll have to work on this .. someone out there would love to have you in their life. :kicking:

Tracy
12-28-2006, 02:14 PM
Thank you, karried... you're very sweet.

My mom offered some unsolicited advice... she thinks I look too good and "put together", and that maybe it scares off a lot of men because they think I'm looking for someone who dresses a little better than old T-shirts and jeans (which is what most men wear wherever they go, at least from what I've seen). She thinks I need to ditch the cute shoes and blouses and just wear plain, simple T-shirts, jeans and sneakers when I go out, even to dance clubs on Friday or Saturday nights.

I personally don't really like this idea, because I like the way I dress. I don't have scary Dragon Lady nails, I don't wear stilettos or lots of bling, and I don't wear my hair in elaborate styles. For the most part, I do wear jeans when I go out (unless it's a nice restaurant or upscale concert... then I will wear a skirt or dress). None of my clothes are very expensive or trendy, but she thinks it's still too much for the average guy... that maybe they're looking for someone on their "level" because they would be easier to approach.

Karried
12-28-2006, 04:05 PM
Nah, you don't have to dress down.. that would be settling .. remember it sometimes takes a hundred 'no's' to one 'yes' .. and the one yes will be well worth it.

Tracy
12-28-2006, 06:10 PM
Well, yeah, but you gotta ask yourself why you're getting so many "no's"... I mean, after awhile you can't help but question whether it really is something you're doing or not doing, and not just a weird run.

Mandy
12-28-2006, 06:58 PM
Dailymotion Share Your Videos (http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3knv_life-as-a-guy)

Hehehehe!

I just wanted to say good luck to everyone looking for their soul mate. At least you know what you want and aren't willing to settle. Being more experienced gives you the advantage of having seen who's out there, and knowing what is worth your time and what isn't. So when you do find someone you mesh well with, it'll be a deeper and more mature relationship with greater potential to be lasting and "happily ever after"-esque. :)

Deni
12-29-2006, 02:05 PM
Steph..lol It was not meant for you .. it was just something I have learned from past experience... I was not meaning anything to one person. I am a mom, and a professional but I can still cook dinner.. However I am not superwoman.... and I dont want to read a man's mind, I want him to be BRUTALLY HONEST. like I am ..

StephiOKC
12-29-2006, 04:08 PM
Dont worry about me taking things personal, I laugh off alot of things. So no big deal!
I can say that I am worth so much, too bad alot of people didnot have confidence of dignity like me and my friends. We choose not to settle....to bad alot of people did not make that choice. Being single sucks in that, finding someone real and honest...is amazingly DIFFICULT. Sad but true.

Deni
12-30-2006, 07:16 PM
I agree Steph it is hard to find the one. Even though I am in a relationship, I still have doubts about is this the person I want to spend the rest of my life with? I am thinking dogs make better companions.. or even fish.. lmao

Tracy
12-30-2006, 07:38 PM
Well, you know what? At least you have someone, so you're one up on a lot of other women.