View Full Version : OKCTalk...One big family!



Keith
11-05-2006, 12:19 PM
I went to dictionary.com to look up the definition of family. OKCTalk is a family friendly forum, and many of us have been on this forum for a long time. Because of that, many of us feel that we are one big family here.

As shown this last week...when tragedy hits, we put our differences aside and show our respect and our support. We laugh with each other, we cry with each other, we give advice to each other, and we show support to each other. That's what family does.

Let's continue this trend on OKCTalk.

Below is one of the definitions that were given from dictionary.com.

family  /fæmhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.pngəhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.pngli, fæmhttp://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.pngli/ Pronunciation Key (http://www.okctalk.com/) - Show Spelled Pronunciation (http://www.okctalk.com/)[fam-uh-lee, fam-lee] Pronunciation Key (http://www.okctalk.com/) - Show IPA Pronunciation (http://www.okctalk.com/) noun, plural -lies, adjective –noun

10.a group of people who are generally not blood relations but who share common attitudes, interests, or goals.

ChristianConservative
11-05-2006, 12:23 PM
I'm happy to be part of the okctalk family. It's been a fun ride here.

Midtowner
11-05-2006, 01:06 PM
Keith, it's a message board. A lot of us don't necessarily agree with your appraisal. You're entitled to your opinion though.

Patrick
11-05-2006, 01:20 PM
Keith, it's a message board. A lot of us don't necessarily agree with your appraisal. You're entitled to your opinion though.

Then we won't consider you part of the OKCtalk family. Please return the $150 we spent on your wedding gift. Make check's payable to OKCTalk.com LLC. Or you can pay via Paypal to accounting@okctalk.com. If you prefer to pay via check, send me a PM and I'll forward you the mailing address. Thanks!

THEComedian
11-05-2006, 01:27 PM
Keith, it's a message board. A lot of us don't necessarily agree with your appraisal. You're entitled to your opinion though.

I think you need to re-read the definition of family again. Keith, I appreciate you considering us part of the OKCtalk family.

THEComedian
11-05-2006, 01:52 PM
Then we won't consider you part of the OKCtalk family. Please return the $150 we spent on your wedding gift. Make check's payable to OKCTalk.com LLC. Or you can pay via Paypal to accounting@okctalk.com. If you prefer to pay via check, send me a PM and I'll forward you the mailing address. Thanks!

lol! This is hilarious. Sorry you guys thought he was actually part of the family here. I hope you are as nice to me as you have been to Mr. Anderson and Midtowner. It's a pretty nice place you run here. I commend you. Thanks for providing okctalk.

Midtowner
11-05-2006, 02:09 PM
Then we won't consider you part of the OKCtalk family. Please return the $150 we spent on your wedding gift. Make check's payable to OKCTalk.com LLC. Or you can pay via Paypal to accounting@okctalk.com. If you prefer to pay via check, send me a PM and I'll forward you the mailing address. Thanks!

Patrick, as for the "family" thing, I think it's a stretch. Do I consider a lot of folks here friends? Sure. Part of a "family"?

My objection is semantic at best. I do respect a lot of folks here, and I would even go so far as to say they're friends, but to suggest that because someone has a certain post count, or they participate in a certain way, that I consider them 'family' isn't going to fly.

Thanks for the wedding gifts, btw. It was great having y'all out.

THEComedian
11-05-2006, 02:28 PM
Patrick, as for the "family" thing, I think it's a stretch. Do I consider a lot of folks here friends? Sure. Part of a "family"?

My objection is semantic at best. I do respect a lot of folks here, and I would even go so far as to say they're friends, but to suggest that because someone has a certain post count, or they participate in a certain way, that I consider them 'family' isn't going to fly.

Can you not read? Man, the ignorance around here. Family: a group of people who are generally not blood relations but who share common attitudes, interests, or goals.

writerranger
11-05-2006, 02:37 PM
Keith, Nice post. I especially like this:

We laugh with each other, we cry with each other, we give advice to each other, and we show support to each other.

When we communicate through a message board and get to know one another (as you described above), "family" is very much a word that can be used to describe that.

---------------

THEComedian
11-05-2006, 02:43 PM
When we communicate through a message board and get to know one another (as you described above), "family" is very much a word that can be used to describe that.

---------------

Says everyone here except Midtowner and bandnerd.

bandnerd
11-05-2006, 02:45 PM
Patrick--

While I appreciate the fact that you and your wife came to our wedding, you were the only one from this board who did come, am I wrong here? I remember you telling me that others had said they were going to come, but didn't, and that had made you a little angry.

I guess this message board is like a family in that they let you down sometimes. ;)

I understand what Keith is trying to say, but I also understand Midtowner--it's all semantics here. I don't feel that this place is a "family" for me...I really consider it a forum to air my views (and usually get attacked for them, but whatever) frustrations, and whatnot to people I don't really know to maybe sometimes get a more objective view than I would with people that I know personally in real life. If others consider it a "family" then that's fine, but don't expect everyone to feel like they are part of that.

We all know I'd be "that" family member anyway haha.

sweetdaisy
11-05-2006, 02:46 PM
Can you not read? Man, the ignorance around here. Family: a group of people who are generally not blood relations but who share common attitudes, interests, or goals.

I'm curious what the shared attitudes, interests, or goals would be? THEComedian seems to have the goal of constantly attacking Midtowner...what's everyone else's shared attitudes, interests, or goals?

BTW, Patrick, your post was completely tacky. I'm shocked and disappointed you'd actually say something like that.

THEComedian
11-05-2006, 02:50 PM
I don't feel that this place is a "family" for me...I really consider it a forum to air my views (and usually get attacked for them, but whatever) frustrations, and whatnot to people I don't really know to maybe sometimes get a more objective view than I would with people that I know personally in real life. If others consider it a "family" then that's fine, but don't expect everyone to feel like they are part of that.

We all know I'd be "that" family member anyway haha.

If you don't want to follow the moderators here bandnerd, maybe you should leave.

bandnerd
11-05-2006, 02:51 PM
sweetdaisy--

It's okay. If he's frustrated with me or Midtowner, he can be.

As for the others, I can't speak for them. I only know what I read.

THEComedian
11-05-2006, 02:51 PM
I'm curious what the shared attitudes, interests, or goals would be?

Obviously, there has to be a reason everyone is here, something drawing them. Interest in Oklahoma City events and attractions, I would think.


THEComedian seems to have the goal of constantly attacking Midtowner...what's everyone else's shared attitudes, interests, or goals?

I'm on the defense against everyone, so get over it lady.


BTW, Patrick, your post was completely tacky. I'm shocked and disappointed you'd actually say something like that.

He's entitled to his opinions.

sweetdaisy
11-05-2006, 02:55 PM
Ignoring the troll that leaves and then comes back 8 hours later with a different name.

THEComedian
11-05-2006, 02:56 PM
Ignoring the troll that leaves and then comes back 8 hours later with a different name.

Must be someone else.

writerranger
11-05-2006, 02:58 PM
Wow. Some of these posts from a thread-starter that seemed (to me at least) to be so innocent. Maybe it's the gloomy day?

THEComedian
11-05-2006, 02:59 PM
Wow. Some of these posts from a thread-starter that seemed (to me at least) to be so innocent. Maybe it's the gloomy day?

Who and what's a thread-starter?

Spartan
11-05-2006, 02:59 PM
What....is your malfunction? Not only is Midtowner obviously now reading your posts (which I find funny) after saying mission accomplished (which is also funny b/c you're still here) but now you've adopted an ignore the trolls sig as well? That is like the kettle calling the pot black...

Does anyone else find that funny?


Says everyone here except Midtowner and bandnerd.

Actually I think that pretty much excludes just Giggles....

Midtowner and bandnerd are definately part of the family.

bandnerd
11-05-2006, 02:59 PM
All threads here seem "innocent," but there is a lot more going on than what may at first meet the eye.

I like the weather today! Except I have to get groceries, but we need the rain so bring it on!

Patrick
11-05-2006, 03:08 PM
Okay, king's X! Stop all of the fighting. I'm sick of it. You're giving me an absolute headache.

bandnerd
11-05-2006, 03:10 PM
I know some here consider this forum a family, others don't.

Why do you feel the way you do?

***This is only a question. I took an online inkblot test yesterday for fun and it said I am driven by curiosity. I am only being curious.

I do not consider okctalk.com a family. To me, it is a forum. An online forum where people discuss things. No one necessarily has to or needs to be supportive of others. We do not have to agree. Debate is optional, and often welcome. However, I find it difficult to trust people online, people I have met maybe once, probably not at all. I don't know you, except for what you post. You don't know me, except for what I post. How can I consider that family? I don't trust people in real life very easily, either, so suffice it to say it is very difficult to trust someone and feel they are "family" here.

This is not meant to inflame anyone, or make them angry. It is simply how I feel, take it or leave it. I know I am not alone in this.

Spartan
11-05-2006, 03:15 PM
I do not consider myself a part of the family, and the only family candidate that I see here is Patrick and possibly Mr. And Mrs. Midtowner. There are some other members who I'd forget at the moment, but for one, I don't even consider some in my family to be "family" so why would I consider morons and trolls to be in my "family"?

sweetdaisy
11-05-2006, 03:21 PM
I consider several members here to be good acquaintences, a few members are friends, but none are family.

It's not a trust issue, or anything of the sort. I think family is a special gift and for the most part represents a group of people you love unconditionally...you may not like them all the time, but you'd still do anything for them any time they asked. There are many folks here I would be willing to help at a moments notice, but to say that I love them unconditionally? No.

sweetdaisy
11-05-2006, 03:22 PM
Spartan, you made me laugh! :D

Spartan
11-05-2006, 03:29 PM
Ok, Ok...there is an opening for "Family Dog" since my chow/huskie, Buster, passed away a few months ago. You can email me your applications...

You'll have to get along with the cat.

dirtrider73068
11-05-2006, 03:30 PM
Because of threads like this and how it has ended up, lets bash each other, why I don't post adn won't get invlolved in okc talk anymore. I am proud to say I would like to be part of the family, I have been here for some time and have had help along the way with problems from others. I was considering after my house is bought which will be my first haveing a moveing party and inviting some okctalkers, but seeing the childish fights and BS I know who I won't invite and will send out PM's to those I wish to come by and visit and see my new first home. The way I see if you don't like it leave, don't read it, or don't post a reply. And by all means, grow up and act likee dang adults. If you don't want to be part of the family so be it.

writerranger
11-05-2006, 03:49 PM
Who and what's a thread-starter?

Another way of saying, "Original Post"...

---------

mranderson
11-05-2006, 04:28 PM
During the two plus years of OKC Talk, we have witnessed the marriage of one member (or more, possibly), been through the birth of the child of two members, grieved with each other when a member has been cruiley treated in a relationship, and have joined together when laying a member of our family (even though he was not a contributing member, but often mentioned and quoted) to rest...

If that is not family, then I do not know what family is.

mranderson
11-05-2006, 04:30 PM
"I know some here consider this forum a family, others don't."

Then I respectfully request you ignore the threads that you disagree with concerning our family, and not even post on them.

Spartan
11-05-2006, 04:36 PM
That's not a respectful request.

Spartan
11-05-2006, 04:38 PM
A family trolls each other. A family cruelly corrects each other's spelling, a family disrespects each other's religion and moral values, a family outcasts the gay member, a family beligerantly hates their fellow members, a family member whines about people calling him ANDERSON, and I could go on... don't tell me I'm wrong.

Hopefully this thread will impact people to the point of treating each other just a little better, if not a lot better.

sweetdaisy
11-05-2006, 04:41 PM
:congrats:

Well said, Spartan. Excellent.

bandnerd
11-05-2006, 04:44 PM
Then I request, but not respectfully, that you do the same, MRanderson.

MadMonk
11-05-2006, 04:45 PM
Maybe its a dysfuntional family. :D

bandnerd
11-05-2006, 04:47 PM
The most dysfunctional of families.

If people want this to be a family, that's fine, but then we have to accept everyone as a family member, and I don't think that everyone here is willing to accept everyone in that way.

Oops, I wasn't supposed to post here. Darn.

MadMonk
11-05-2006, 04:47 PM
I can see how some might consider it a family in a broad definintion of the word, but with others the word family means something a little more tight-knit than what a forum can provide. I think "community" is a better word. After all you can't pick your family... ;)

bandnerd
11-05-2006, 04:47 PM
I like the phrase "community" as well...or "forum" seeing as that is exactly what it is.

Patrick
11-05-2006, 05:14 PM
I think one has to go back to roots of Oklahoma City Talk. Yes, I said Oklahoma City. This didn't used to be OKC Talk. When Todd, Keith, and I started together as the first mods, we planned on making this place a family friendly group, that we hoped would meet often together in person and accomplish great things for this city.

Instead, it's turned into a breeding grounds for trolls to come and fight.

Currently, I'm in the midst of proposing to our staff that we completely revamp OKCTalk. That we return to our roots as a forum. A forum that's dedicated to discussing Oklahoma City, and coming up with ways to improve our city. A grass-roots effort, you could call it. This site was once well respected, and was once an incubator for city projects. Many of the ideas for MAPS for Kids actually came from here. Just ask Mick Cornett. The Kerr McGee bell tower was developed after discussions here for a landmark on the Oklahoma River.

Those days at OKCTalk are slowly vanishing into oblivion, and it's our responsiblity as staff to maintain the crediblity of this site.

Therefore, I've proposed a 3 step series of events, that will basically wipe out all of the debate forums as we now know them, and return OKCTalk to a grass-roots attempt to improve Oklahoma City.

Some may not like what I have proposed, but many of those weren't here originally and don't remember what OKCTalk was all about.

Patrick
11-05-2006, 05:20 PM
The most dysfunctional of families.

If people want this to be a family, that's fine, but then we have to accept everyone as a family member, and I don't think that everyone here is willing to accept everyone in that way.

Oops, I wasn't supposed to post here. Darn.

That's why I'm going to propose to Todd at our next moderator meeting this weekend, that we end all religious and political debate. We're going to return to a community-based forum, which is how we started initially.

Spartan
11-05-2006, 05:23 PM
Huh? Ending debate at Okc Talk??

bandnerd
11-05-2006, 05:41 PM
I guess I'll just have to find somewhere else to go, then. At least for that part. I'd hate to see it go. If people weren't so vindictive and occasionally cruel then we could have good debates in the political and religious threads. Besides, if you do away with those, people will just take it to the nosebleed.

Spartan
11-05-2006, 06:04 PM
It's a bit premature to threaten to leave. And after that, the idea behind this would be to morph Okc Talk into something more "meaningful", so while you go somewhere else to have what Okc Talk doesn't want anymore of, wouldn't you stick around to become a part of a more meaningful, family-based Okc Talk?

Personally I hope that you all keep the debate as it is. It's been healthy for the site, and a lot of it has been pertaining to Oklahoma...state questions, gub, other candidates, etc, etc...

Midtowner
11-05-2006, 06:06 PM
With the ignore feature, the trolls have become very manageable.

Patrick
11-05-2006, 06:08 PM
I guess I'll just have to find somewhere else to go, then. At least for that part. I'd hate to see it go. If people weren't so vindictive and occasionally cruel then we could have good debates in the political and religious threads. Besides, if you do away with those, people will just take it to the nosebleed.

No, we'd do away with the Nosebleed Forum too.

Patrick
11-05-2006, 06:36 PM
We may make some minor changes, but in discussions with Todd and Keith this evening, we may dump the Nosebleed Section, and strongly enforce the Terms and Conditions on the rest of the site. This is in an effort to maintain our status as a family-friendly forum.

Midtowner
11-05-2006, 07:01 PM
Patrick, I applaud your choice. The nosebleed forum was good until certain individuals decided it was okay to shift from heated debate into petty personal attacks (e.g., calling someone's wife 'damaged goods'). I look forward to the TOS being enforced vigorously and correctly.

Patrick
11-05-2006, 07:27 PM
Patrick, I applaud your choice. The nosebleed forum was good until certain individuals decided it was okay to shift from heated debate into petty personal attacks (e.g., calling someone's wife 'damaged goods'). I look forward to the TOS being enforced vigorously and correctly.

The Nosebleed Forum is gone for now.

Easy180
11-05-2006, 07:35 PM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO..The nosebleed had some of my most informative and influential work in there :LolLolLol

Patrick
11-05-2006, 07:36 PM
May re-open it. Not sure yet. If we do re-open it, TOS will be enforced, unlike recent days.

writerranger
11-05-2006, 07:45 PM
Well.....enough rope was given to certain members to hang themselves with. Instead, it was the forums themselves that were hanged.

I've been surprised lately how such innocent topics (such as ideas on where I can get a good haircut) end up in the nosebleed section. Keith posts a thoughtful and positive piece about OKCtalk being a "family," and that is berated. Too often, it's hijackers with an agenda who disrupt these threads. It's not simply that they disagree - they do so with a level of contempt that becomes almost hatred for fellow members. This happens all too frequently.

Patrick, I would applaud any attempt to bring some order back to this forum. Keeping threads on topic, kicking off members who blatantly and repeatedly violate the TOS, banning IP addresses, etc.

I would hate to see a radical swing the other direction where debate is squashed, but maybe even that might be necessary for awhile to bring some order (call it an electronic martial law to regain control). Debate is a crucial part of the "discussion." However, too many believe the allowance for debate to be a license for personal attacks on other members. Almost everyone here has been guilty of it at one time or another, we all have bad days and can lash out. But, there's a difference between periodic tantrums and a constant, everyday drumbeat of negative answers, replies, mean-spirited one-liners and a general attitude that disrupts.

I just wanted to add my thoughts as you all move forward to make OKCTalk a place to discuss Oklahoma City with respect and dignity. I wish you all the best of luck.

---writerranger---

Patrick
11-05-2006, 07:48 PM
My attempt to delete the Nosebleed Forum, is so threads won't get moved there. If a troll trashes them, we use our displinary policy. As easy as cake! We will discuss the issue more at our next moderator meeting though....and Todd may decide to bring back the Nosebleed Section in the meantime. Not sure what will happen yet.

Patrick
11-05-2006, 07:49 PM
BTW, check your PM's writerranger.

Midtowner
11-05-2006, 08:16 PM
I've been surprised lately how such innocent topics (such as ideas on where I can get a good haircut) end up in the nosebleed section. Keith posts a thoughtful and positive piece about OKCtalk being a "family," and that is berated.

Berated?

Hell.. I said I disagreed with the premises assumed in his statement. "Berated" is an extremely subjective/biased term. I even said he was entitled to his opinion.

It would also seem, FWIW, there are as many people who agree with me as agreed with Keith. A big problem is that people don't understand the concept of civil debate, the difference between fact and opinion, etc. Viewing a simple disagreement as to a semantical term as being "berated" is a fine example of that.

-- I even said he was entitled to his opinion.

Patrick
11-05-2006, 08:20 PM
Can anyone tell me what the topic of that thread is now? I've lost track....it's changed so many times.

mranderson
11-05-2006, 08:21 PM
Regardless of how others may think, and frankly I could care less how thoughtless they are, I look at OKC Talk as a family.

My idol, my mentor, my teacher, a person i am so proud of I want to sound the trumpet of his life for the world to hear is now departed... My dad. This group of people, sans two or three, have been kind, gentle, compassionate and caring during the most traumatic time of my 51 years. THAT IS FAMILY!!! THAT IS FRIENDSHIP!!! THAT IS CARE!!! And I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Let me share with you. Keith, out of friendship, and because we are like brothers, went out of his way to find the greatest vocal voice I have ever heard at a funeral. Patrick, another like a brother, thought about my family all day Friday while he was saving lives in a surgical suite, a calling my dad would say is FAR more important than being by a friends side physically. That thought could have very easily caused his hands to slip, his mind to wonder away from his job of saving lives.

Had we not met as a result of OKC Talk, my family would have been in a tough spot because due to my dad's health, my mom had been out of touch with the spiritual community. A vocalist would have been a difficult task. Thanks to Keith, that burden was lifted. Yes, I could have asked my Priest to help, however, had it not been for the love of our two moderators, I may not have met the woman that led me to the Catholic church, therefore, not being able to meet my Priest.

Folks, thank God for these people. Even if you never meet in person, these people, me included, are there to help you when you are in a low spot. No, we may not lend you money, however, we will offer support, and at times may even do so in person, or by using our resources to fill a void in your need.

You can believe as you wish, and believe me, I want to cuss every one of you who opposed my thoughts on this subject. However, I can not for two reasons. One, it is against TOS. Two, it is not proper etiquite.

You never knew Andy Anderson. That is evident. I know, but can not tell you how, that some of you have either heard of him or have relatives that knew him. Some may not believe what I have said about my dad, and one day as you enter the gates of Heaven, my dad will be right there to set you straight. I have spoken only the truth about him, and the teachings I have posted, my political and business savvy I have posted are a result of the lessons he taught me. Ones that would not hurt to learn.

When I read the objections on this and the related post, I was hurt. I was upset. Yes, partly because I grieve for the loss of a great man. A man that has led the lives of ten men. A richer, fuller life than either you or I could ever hope for.

The point is. Maybe you do not think of OKC Talk as a family, and that is fine. Most of us do. Me included. Someone said my request to ignore the posts and not comment was not repectful. How was the way I said it NOT respectful? (Do not answer. That is called a retorical question which I doubt most of you know the definition of) Please. Honor my dad. Honor my time of mourning and leave this alone. OKC Talk is MY family. and that to me is important. Your disagreement is not.

Midtowner
11-05-2006, 08:35 PM
Mr. Anderson (this is a qualified one time usage considering the subject matter of the thread :) ):

I do respect what this community means to you, I really do. For you it is your extended family, your support group, and you value the real-life relationships a great deal here. I can really see how it's helped you out. Over the last few years, I've seen you really start to turn things around.

For what it's worth, at this point, let me offer my late condolences for your father. You may or may not think I'm being truthful, honest, whatever, but I understand and sympathize that this must be a very difficult period in your life.

For different people, the forum means different things. I think I have several people I'd call "friends" here as well.

Family might be pushing it :)

At any rate, whatever disagreement I have is purely semantical.

Patrick
11-05-2006, 10:11 PM
Okay, I have to go study for a test. This thread has seen better days. Say goodbye.