I am not sure If I undestand this dating thing or not. I am beginning to think that maybe I am meant to be alone. Its been almost ten years since I seriously scene someone. I have dated but I stopped when I turned 30 a few years back. Its just seems like the girls are not intersted in a guy like me. What could I do to spur the ladies intersts. I clean up well. I will admit I am a tad overweight but I am working to get rid of it. I am good guy. I have a steady job. Is it possible I am just too ugly? Could it be my personality is just too annoying? Is it possible that some us were not meant to match up.

Do not get me wrong I am happy living my life and being the man I am today. It would be so much nicer if I had someone to share my life with. So what do you think?

Whats a guy like me to do?

I don't think any of us were meant to be single for the rest of our lives, some actually enjoy being single and some just don't know where to look and of course, there's ones like me....that have managed to have a life that can't easily be changed to suit just any man. Face it, to find someone exactly like what we are looking for is like getting struck by lightening, the best we can hope for is that we find someone that can fit into your life, well...if your over 30 and somewhat settled, such as have children, a home you love, prefer your side of town, etc. then it's really hard to find that someone that will not expect you to move out of your home and into his/hers, conflicts in how you both raise children. People with children are really better off with someone that doesn't have any and wants to take the role and a person who owns their own home is better off with someone living in an apartment they may not have the credit to own a home. I've noticed in some of these sites that people are asking for "no games", if someone can explain this to me, I would love it. I guess if someone is dragging out a relationship, talking of marriage, but finding every excuse in the world not to get married, instead of seeing it as just wanting to know the person more, I guess it could be called a game, but if the other is continuing to push the relationship, wouldn't the other be a player in this so called "game"? Or better yet, why don't I see any posts that say "I prefer to play games" or "I'm into games". Just wondering. I guess what I'm trying to say is that people need to take a deep look into who they are themselves, then post something realistic, then people may start becoming possibilities, in our brains, we still live in a Stepford Society, but our day-to-day living reveals much different.

I resinged myself to the fact that I was going to be single for the rest of my life and told myself that I did not need anyone and just gave up then bam...as the song goes out of the blue clear sky...it fell down on me and wiggled...now I hope I can hang on to what I have and make it grow somehow...yes guys I turned into a marshmallow so I must turn in my He man woman haters club card..

Some singles are destined to be single because they won't get off their ass and go out and do anything. Instead they choose to whine and cry about being single, and want sympathy. Well, I can tell you where ti find sympathy: the dictionary. Now get off your tush, and attend some singles events.

I agree Survey...I may have not found my perfect match, but, heck, if I didn't leave my house, I wouldn't have any friends either and I gotta have my friends. :gossip:

I hated to be so blunt, but it's true. I laugh when I hear a single complain and then ask them what they're doing about their situation. It's sorta like talking to someone whose whining that they don't have a job, yet they haven't applied anywhere. :)

Destined to be single?.......I dunno. I'm not complaining about it....been single for a year and a half. It's not all bad. I can come and go as I please. I'm not expected to be any certain place at any certain time. That's good.

Problem is: I'm used to it....Nowdays, when I think of something serious, thoughts of giving up my freedom come to mind.

I'm more than willing to give a lot of freedom to be exceptionally close to someone. (It's all about compromise.) But the more I get set in my ways, the more special she'll have to be.

I think, the longer one waits, and the older one gets, the more narrow the field of play becomes.

I'd like something serious, and I'm actually becoming more accepting of people in general. Hell, I get along with everybody. I'm hoping my next will be my last, and she can be the total opposite of me, IF I can be the total opposite of her.....We gotta click in the bedroom though...only exception.

Where's Leon's freak?

Count me as not crying or whining about being single - been there, done that when it comes to dating and marriage and it was nice while it lasted but it isn't the be all, end all, secret to happiness. Being single doesn't mean being alone or miserable. I'm not forced to stay at home. Life is what you make it, single, dating or married. If you are't happy with yourself, no one else will be either.

Well said

I don't mind being single. And that puts me in a good position...."non-desperate".

Some singles are destined to be single because they won't get off their ass and go out and do anything. Instead they choose to whine and cry about being single, and want sympathy. Well, I can tell you where ti find sympathy: the dictionary. Now get off your tush, and attend some singles events.

I agree to an extent but let's not forget there is a certain element of luck involved in the game of life as well.

I'll be hitting 35 next week and have also sort of come to the conclusion I'll most likely be single from here on out....but you have to find the positive. Don't dwell on it. Keep busy....value your FREEDOM like a treasured gift.

But even staying busy and occupied, you will always be reminded of your situation.

I'm in the middle of a 7-month, round-the-world trip (posting from Phnom Penh) and can't help but notice happy, adventeurous couples seeing the world and making memories together. It sucks. I always wanted to meet a woman with a sense of adventure but never met one. Tough break!

You still gotta live and have fun. If it happens....it happens.

I agree to an extent but let's not forget there is a certain element of luck involved in the game of life as well.

I'll be hitting 35 next week and have also sort of come to the conclusion I'll most likely be single from here on out....but you have to find the positive. Don't dwell on it. Keep busy....value your FREEDOM like a treasured gift.

But even staying busy and occupied, you will always be reminded of your situation.

I'm in the middle of a 7-month, round-the-world trip (posting from Phnom Penh) and can't help but notice happy, adventeurous couples seeing the world and making memories together. It sucks. I always wanted to meet a woman with a sense of adventure but never met one. Tough break!

You still gotta live and have fun. If it happens....it happens.

You got it right, Poke. As long as you're not sulking about your singledom, and cherishing your freedom to do whatever, whenever, then it's really pretty great to be single!

However, I completely understand the frustration that comes with seeing the happy couples making memories together. That's the ONE things that pisses me off about being single...it's just not as much fun to travel alone. But, you gotta do it or else life will just pass you by.

Enjoy the rest of your trip! You know we expect to see some highlight pics from your adventure. :D

Ha! Thanks, Daisy. We're on the same page.

And it's not so much SEEING the other couples. It's having to stay in THE VERY NEXT ROOM! Ugh!

I'm pretty sure the Spanish couple next door were at it until 4am last night. I was already finished by 2am, thank you. ;)

Si! Si! Un más tiempo.

I was already finished by 2am, thank you. ;)

Si! Si! Un más tiempo.

:boff:

LOL! That's almost TMI! :D

I think I was meant to be alone for life, but somehow (not sure how) I wound up married. go figure.

I don't think that anyone is destined to be alone forever. I truly believe that God (or which ever higher power you choose to believe in) has made someone for each of us.

Oh, and this isn't coming from someone who is happily partnered. I'm single, like alot of folks out there. But, I'm not giving up hope.

To Ralph Kramden post, and others here I see nobody has posted for along long time. Well I hope people respond I am in need of it, and I was not in 2006 When these posting were occurring, because I was not Single. So I have nowhere to turn and feel desperate. I have big choices o make in the next several days. Got a job up in norther Va, where my ex girlfriend lies. She left me sunday when we were about to take the next step and move in together, and also I was going to propose something she had always wanted me to do. I have been well, not single for lack of better terms for almost 6 years. And before her nobody, I am just about to turn 26, and though u people may say that it young, it isn't. For me see I feel that the reaosn i met this girl is for the longest time did sit on my ass, but then in college she came into my life, no friends wanted her to date me cause I am well, not the "hot" just Brown Indian dude. And Her well, she was the most down to earth person in the world. So i got a job up where she lives (she moved back home after college to be a teacher) and the two year apart , she shut me out of her life. Slowly. Long story short, she thinks we are "ment" to be together bull**** we are. But no other girl has even wanted to come close to me, how does one get over this? 6 years of love then alone right before starting a big job where she lives where i know nobody else. I think fate gave us enough chances, other people influenced us. And no girls have ever wanted to support me dating their friends, its been sad from the start but she took a chance on me. Now it is over. So I do think people are destined to be alone. I however do also agree some dont do anything about it, but the ones like me who do enormous amounts and still end up alone are truly doomed

How does not having a girlfriend make you "alone"?

Don't you have some friends or family you could talk to?

Doomed is a strong word. What you SOUND like, is heart broken, which sucks. She may not be the one for you but you are far too young to be writing off the rest of the population. Age helps men in terms of statistics. So you have that going for you. Take care of yourself, keep a good job, be a stand up guy and by the time you are in your mid thirties, you'll be a real catch without a lot of the baggage that many men have. That sounds like a very long time to you, right now. I know.

My second (and last) husband was in his 40s when we got together. He also didn't think he'd ever marry and was okay with that. His self confidence was one of his most attractive qualities. We surprised each other. The older you get, the more you know what you want and the faster you recognize foolishness and wisdom.

You waited 6 years to get ready to propose. Why is that? There was a reason and you know it. Now that she has moved on, you sound like you are reconsidering. There were reasons you waited this long - don't forget them. She just left Sunday and today you are desparate. Sounds normal. If you were female, I'd tell you to dive into a carton of ice cream.

And Northern Virginia sucks. Trust me. I live here.

Just some advice...

Just put yourself out there, yeah, you'll get rejections, it's apart of life, but you don't want to be with someone if when you first met you were pertraying a person that isn't you. Most couples meet through friends. If you've got friends, meet their friends. Let your friends know you're looking. Just don't ever pull the creepy guy card. Just be a gentleman, be yourself, and don't be afraid. The fear of being alone forever has to be a hell of a motivator, so take the lesser of two fears.

//edit//

Have CONFIDENCE! Women, love a confident guy. ... in laymans terms just be sure of yourself.

Have CONFIDENCE! Women, love a confident guy. ... in laymans terms just be sure of yourself.

You bet!

Women see through fake confidence though...

Unless you have a reason to be confident you are wasting your time.

Some women don't see through ANYTHING!

What's the creepy guy card?

Creepy Guy Card:
You're over sensitive to her needs, you make her feel uncomfortable, and she finds you creepy and not adorable.

Men with ******s are creepy for the very same reason that women with *****es are creepy.

Are you equating having a ****** with liking to vacuum and cook???? What?!

I don't know, but women who can bench press me scare me.

Are you equating having a ****** with liking to vacuum and cook???? What?!

No.

I am not sure If I undestand this dating thing or not. I am beginning to think that maybe I am meant to be alone. Its been almost ten years since I seriously scene someone. I have dated but I stopped when I turned 30 a few years back. Its just seems like the girls are not intersted in a guy like me. What could I do to spur the ladies intersts. I clean up well. I will admit I am a tad overweight but I am working to get rid of it. I am good guy. I have a steady job. Is it possible I am just too ugly? Could it be my personality is just too annoying? Is it possible that some us were not meant to match up.

Do not get me wrong I am happy living my life and being the man I am today. It would be so much nicer if I had someone to share my life with. So what do you think?

Whats a guy like me to do?


Know where you are coming from my friend. I don't know the answer to your question, but I've asked it a couple of times myself. All I know is... finding the one is a lot tougher than I ever expected. Maybe a better question is, how late is too late? When should a man/woman just face it that he/she is not going to be alone? I'm 34 and even though I know that isn't "old", it sure feels like it is.

34 is young.

I met my husband when we were 40, married at 42. He'd never been married before and I suspect he went through some angst at your age (not that he admits to it). By the time I met him, he was so comfortable in his skin and not worried about hooking up that it all fell together easily. Neither of us was looking. Eight years, so far, and if our health holds, I'm hoping for 45 - 50 years. He turned out to be a pretty fine husband despite being single for so long.

I'm 34 and even though I know that isn't "old", it sure feels like it is.

Imagine spending the next 50 years with the same person, never dating, meeting, flirting with, never another first kiss, first date .. just the same person day and night.... for the next 50 years.. that's a very long time!

So cherish your freedom right now, take classes, travel, make friends, plan get togethers, go do whatever your heart desires... get it all out and then when you meet someone ( and you will) you'll be ready to say ' you have my heart and soul for the rest of my life' and you'll mean it.

I married pretty young but was fortunate to marry a great guy... hoping we can go another 40-50... wow, that is a long time! lol

http://www.okctalk.com/images/misc/progress.gif

If the next 1/4 century is even 1/2 as nice as the last, 50 + years = majorly blessed

Re: Alone
I met my late partner at 15, we went thru the Corps together, survive the Gulf War among other ones.
Then 6 years ago, he was killed by a drunk stepson of a Oklahoma State Senator.
Afterwards, I had a few bad relationships , then I decided a time in drydock.
I examine myself, to see who I was, What I expected in a relationship, and who I was looking for, and I enjoy my hobbies, my friends and family.
I have now a awesome boyfriend.
My suggestion is relax, be happy with yourself.
Remember as you look for a good friend or a partner, be that good friend, good partner.
My best to you.