View Full Version : A very heartfelt request



mranderson
05-27-2006, 12:09 PM
As a lot of you know, on January 2 of this year, my beloved companion of nine years, my child, my entire life for the most part, died.

Her death was a massive shock and a massive loss that will forever be a great pain for me.

Since Holly's death, there have been two attempts to, what I call willfully and deliberatly attempt to scar her memory and hurt the ones who knew and will forever love her. One was the mutalization of the picture I use in my signature as my memorial to this loving soul who is now in the loving arms of God and Jesus. If you had a webcam and could see me, you would see the tears as I write this plea.

I have gained advise from one of the moderators on this, and have gained approval to copy some parts of another post in another thread which tells the feeling of my fellow pet parents... Especially the one's who grieve over the loss of their pet child.

Please, for all of our sakes, take the time to read this very carefully and think of our feelings before you ask us or just post things that will hurt us.

"the love a mother ( and most fathers) feel for their children is indescribable.. no one could ever have told me or described how I would feel about my children.

I wouldn't have believed them and I wouldn't have been convinced otherwise, until of course, I held my baby for the first time and fell head over heels in love with this little creation. It truly was a love that I had never, ever felt in my lifetime.. the urge to protect and love this child and the fear of something bad happening to him was overpowering. I felt so protective.. nothing I had felt before

I will never convince you of this until you have your own child. It doesn't mean you don't feel love or want to protect those you love, but for me, the intensity is far greater between a parent and a child.


Have you ever heard the saying " I would die for my child, or I would gladly take the pain so my child doesn't have to" or things along those lines? It's that instinct that ensures our future.. protect the young and innocent, protect those who can't protect themselves - that's what I'm doing when I say I want to take the sex offenders out of the picture - I'm protecting my children."

before you make any comments or alter any photos reflecting a persons deceased pet, think about what you are doing to that person. the hurt you will bring to that person because the grief they suffer is unbareable. Please for everyones sake, keep those comments to yourself.

Signed: The human parent of a deceased pet child.

writerranger
05-27-2006, 12:18 PM
mranderson,

I'm so sorry for the loss you have experienced. There are cruel people in this world and I hope they will take what you wrote to heart. While some may not understand the loss of a pet or pet/child can hurt so bad, I hope you have helped them to see that the grief can be extremely hard to live with. I hope time will heal your loss, MrAnderson.

All the best.....

----------------

Patrick
05-27-2006, 02:16 PM
My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you mranderson!

Karried
05-27-2006, 04:36 PM
Mr Anderson, I appreciate your feelings towards this. I hope you can find some acceptance and peace over the death of your pet.

Have you considered getting another pet...? Of course, it will never be the same and you will never replace her, but it has helped some people get over the loss of a pet when they have a new puppy or kitten to take care of. Possibly there is one waiting for you at an animal shelter that would love to have you for a owner?

It is always difficult with animals because they do have a much shorter lifespan than humans and we have to always keep that in mind..we only get to enjoy them for a short time and then we have to let go.

MadMonk
05-27-2006, 07:41 PM
Who the hell is doing that Mr. Anderson? Those types need to be named and publicly shamed for their actions.

sweetdaisy
05-27-2006, 08:14 PM
Who the hell is doing that Mr. Anderson? Those types need to be named and publicly shamed for their actions.

Survey wanted to defile the picture and Jack was being a "jack" about it a few months back.

People who do that sort of thing are sad "little" men who have no soul...and both of them have proven themselves to be no more than nuisances who are seeking attention through shock value. "Pay no mind to the {little} man behind the {internet} curtain."

Mr. Anderson, I can empathize and just ask that you ignore their cruel nature and feel sorry for the people who must demoralize to feel better about their own pathetic lives.

Patrick
05-27-2006, 08:30 PM
Survey posted the picture in the photo gallery, and I removed it immediately, and sent him a PM telling him that any further such activity would result in immediate banning. We will NOT tolerate such behavior on this forum.

Survey
05-30-2006, 10:43 AM
Sorry. Didn't mean to stir up a ruckus. I just think it's silly for people to come to a public message board and spread their personal life like this. Good grief.

On reading mranderson's plea, I note two things. 1st, it's apparent that mranderson is going overboard! This was a pet, not a child. He's grieving more than some would if their own kids passed away. 2nd, it appears that he needs counseling. I'm not saying this to be mean, simpyl being honest. If he's crying in front of his computer and his pet passed away in January, that obviously isn't normal.

mranderson, this message board is not a couch in a psychologist's office. I encourage you to visit a compassionate counselor to help you through this issue. Don't expect the people here to be your counselors. They're not professionally licensed.

Also, when you put a memorial on a signature like you have done, it opens you up tp public criticism and humiliation. If you don't like people commenting on your signature, you should keep it to yourself.

Not trying to be mean, just being honest.

Now, carry on.

Midtowner
05-30-2006, 11:08 AM
Survey, when you post something on a public forum stating that you support a parent's right to molest their own children, then it opens you up to public criticism and humiliation.

Survey
05-30-2006, 11:44 AM
Survey, when you post something on a public forum stating that you support a parent's right to molest their own children, then it opens you up to public criticism and humiliation.

I think you need to learn to stay on topic here, and not bring other threads into this.

But, FWIW, I never supported a parent's right to molest their own children. I was trying to point out that some people do think it's their first amendment right to treat their children however they choose.

Midtowner
05-30-2006, 12:03 PM
I think you need to learn to stay on topic here, and not bring other threads into this.

But, FWIW, I never supported a parent's right to molest their own children. I was trying to point out that some people do think it's their first amendment right to treat their children however they choose.

And if they molest them, that's their right. I understood exactly what you were saying.

As to the topic-at-hand, I have no comment. If Anderson is feeling some grief, that's none of my business. Dogs are great things to have -- they're absolutely loyal to the fault. I could see how it would be traumatic to have to euthanize your best friend.

Anderson, I'd encourage you to go visit the OKC Animal shelter, or Pets & People (or some equivelant thereof) and find a new pet.

MadMonk
05-30-2006, 01:28 PM
:rude:
You ought to be ashamed of yourself Survey. Why do you care what his signature is? :rolleyes:

bandnerd
05-30-2006, 03:20 PM
Survey--

This is a public forum. If someone wants to "spread their personal life" then that's their business. Don't post to the thread or read it. Some people don't have a strong support system so they turn to other outlets, and there is nothing wrong with it. Just because someone else is sensitive to this type of loss doesn't mean you have to ridicule them.

mranderson
05-30-2006, 04:11 PM
I will also add one thing. A lot of us love our dogs and cats as if they were our own children. It is apparent Survey has no dog or cat otherwise, he or she would understand how we as "pet parents" feel. I need NO counciling, and as soon as the time is right (it is a household decision, not just mine) I will get another pet child.

Survey. When you have owned a pet and loved it more than nearly anything on God's Earth, then you will understand. Your 26 years of life is not long enough to have that strong of a bond. IT is obvious you will not get the message. Ask yourself. If you had a son or daughter that died, how would you feel if someone sent you a picture as mutalated as the one you sent me? Think about that, kid.

Survey
05-30-2006, 05:17 PM
Survey--

This is a public forum. If someone wants to "spread their personal life" then that's their business. Don't post to the thread or read it. Some people don't have a strong support system so they turn to other outlets, and there is nothing wrong with it. Just because someone else is sensitive to this type of loss doesn't mean you have to ridicule them.

If a person chooses to disclose their personal information on a public message board, than they must realize it's open to criticism, humiliation, etc. If they don't want it to be judged, they shouldn't make the information public.

It's obvious this guy needs some real professional help if he's still crying at his keyboard after 6 months.

Survey
05-30-2006, 05:21 PM
I will also add one thing. A lot of us love our dogs and cats as if they were our own children. It is apparent Survey has no dog or cat otherwise, he or she would understand how we as "pet parents" feel. I need NO counciling, and as soon as the time is right (it is a household decision, not just mine) I will get another pet child.

Survey. When you have owned a pet and loved it more than nearly anything on God's Earth, then you will understand. Your 26 years of life is not long enough to have that strong of a bond. IT is obvious you will not get the message. Ask yourself. If you had a son or daughter that died, how would you feel if someone sent you a picture as mutalated as the one you sent me? Think about that, kid.

For the record I'm 62 years of age. I was keeping my personal information private, but it's apparent that a few people made an issue of it here, so I've already disclosed my real date of birth, and asked that the mods edit it.

http://www.okctalk.com/56142-post15.html

A dog is not a son or daughter. Sure, a pet can attempt to be a son or daughter, but it doesn't even compare. But, that's beside the point. If you were reacting this way over your son or daughter, I'd recommend counseling as well. Grief is normal for a brief period following the event, but that should fade within several weeks. 6 months of grieving is not natural grief. It's pathologic.

You don't need counciling, but you do need counseling.

floater
05-30-2006, 05:51 PM
You don't need counciling, but you do need counseling.

I don't think so. The reason you have a pet is to love something other than yourself. That's about as normal as anything is. I hope mranderson can find another pet to share his love with.

wolf2006
05-30-2006, 06:14 PM
Survey, just because you may think that a signature is inappropriate, that gives you absolutely no right to mutilate a picture in response. You must be heartless to not notice that mranderson's signature showed that he loved his dog like a child, and that's not uncommon. I know plenty of people who care for their animals like that. Nothing opens a person to public humiliation. It is a form of torture, and the people who partake in it are the lowest forms of human beings. You should be ashamed of yourself; what amazes me is that you still actually think that what you did wasn't that bad. You need counseling...not to be mean.

Keith
05-30-2006, 08:53 PM
Ok, it seems like Survey has decided to show his colors and be somewhat cold and callous in some of his remarks. Unfortunately, what he has posted has not violated the TOS. Just because he is insensitive and has a very unpopular opinion, doesn't mean he has violated any rules.

Mranderson, the majority of us sympathize with your situation, and we understand the closeness that you had with Holly. Many people in life think of their pets as their kids, and there is nothing wrong with that. We get very attached to the ones we love, and when we lose them, it hurts....sometimes for a very long time.

It seems to me, and the other moderators, that this thread has beaten to death. Everybody has had the chance to share their opinions on this thread, and a few have taken unnecessary shots at mranderson. So, out of respect for mranderson and his loss...........let's consider this thread Closed.