Do you combine your money into "one" with your SO? Or do you keep your money divided into the two groups "My money" and "Your Money"?

My husband and I have always kept are money divided. He has his money and I have mine. We also have our bills seperated to who is responsible to pay what. We have done this for 7 years so far. I don't know of any other married couple that does their finances like this. Sometimes I feel like we approach our bills like we are roommates and not like a married couple.

We approach our bills as one unit. Once we became married, we considered that we were one, so that's the way we've functioned. It's also Dave Ramsey's suggestion for keeping track of your finances.

IMO, with having separate accounts, it's as if you were single and living together. As a marrried couple, I don't feel it should be your money and the SO's money. It should be the couple's money.

The best way to get around all of this is to work from a budget. Have all of the money go into one account. Then work together as a couple to form a budget. In that budget, you include spending money for yourself and your spouse so you have money of your own to spend. We happen to call that the "Blow" fund. Setting your money aside in different funds helps you budget better. For example, we have a Date Night Fund, Gasoline Fund, Grocery Fund, Out to eat fund, Car Insurance Fund, Rent Fund, Gift Fund, Tithe Fund, etc. etc. We always plan our budget at the beginning of the month, based on the estimated budget, similar to how a business would do.

By operating as separate units, it's harder to keep track of where the money goes, and you're simply not on the same page as a couple.

BUT, I have heard of other couples that use your system, okcgoddess, and it seems to work for them, so who am I to question what works and what doesn't work? I just try to listen to a financial planner.

Here's how it works in my house: what's hers is hers and what's mine is hers. ;)

Seriously, we have been a "one-account" family since we married. Its just easier that way. However, she is the one who maintains the register. I check on it from time to time, but its always in perfect shape - down to the penny. She enjoys having checkbook control and I enjoy not having the hassle.

I have a relative who does things like you do. She has her own account and her husband has his. It seems like they are always arguing about who pays for what or she is "begging" for a handout from him when her account gets low. Its seems like a lot of hassle to me.

Here's how it works in my house: what's hers is hers and what's mine is hers. ;)

Good point! LOL! That's exactly what I meant when my wife and I operate with one account as one unit. Everything belongs to her. Just kidding. :)

I think the best thing about the one account system is that you're both on the same page, or at least you try to be. It helps prevent Madmonk's last statement.

IMO, it's a lot easier if a family budget runs like a business...that means it all falls under one budget.

Also, often times one person ends up managing the budget, while the other person may give suggestions. That's okay. Dave Ramsey suggests that there's a nerd and a free spirit in every family. The nerd is the tight wad that knows how to budget. The free spirit is the one that spends spends, and isn't too concerned about budgeting.

The nerd should always be in control of the budget, with input from the free spirit of course. If the free spirit is running things you're going to end up being in debt......have huge credit card debt, no organization, etc. The nerd also is better at managing the check book, building the budget, etc. But, the nerd needs to be open with the free spirit. The nerd shouldn't keep his properly balanced Excel spreadsheet all to himself/herself.

Patrick, have you attended one of Ramsey's seminars? I missed it when he was here, but I've read his Financial Peace book and applied a few principles (but not all). I'm in pretty good shape right now with only a single credit card on 0% interest (I know, I know), and a mortgage. Both cars are paid for and I'm working on getting that credit card down to nothing.

Do you do his "envelope method"?

Who is David Ramsey?

I think the best thing about the one account system is that you're both on the same page, or at least you try to be. It helps prevent Madmonk's last statement.

IMO, it's a lot easier if a family budget runs like a business...that means it all falls under one budget.

Also, often times one person ends up managing the budget, while the other person may give suggestions. That's okay. Dave Ramsey suggests that there's a nerd and a free spirit in every family. The nerd is the tight wad that knows how to budget. The free spirit is the one that spends spends, and isn't too concerned about budgeting.

The nerd should always be in control of the budget, with input from the free spirit of course. If the free spirit is running things you're going to end up being in debt......have huge credit card debt, no organization, etc. The nerd also is better at managing the check book, building the budget, etc. But, the nerd needs to be open with the free spirit. The nerd shouldn't keep his properly balanced Excel spreadsheet all to himself/herself.
I think Patrick just indirectly called me a nerd.:LolLolLol

In my 25 years of marriage, I have always paid the bills. My wife, bless her heart, is mathematically challenged. Even when she uses a calculator, it still doesn't add up correctly.

We have two accounts. One account is a joint account which she is in charge of. Her check goes directly in to that account. There are a few bills that she pays through that account. I have my own account, which is the main account that we pay the bills on. My check is directly deposited in that account, so I pay the majority of the bills with my check.

I am the one, though, that balances both accounts with the credit union. I usually have no problem with my account, because I am rather thorough with all of my transactions. The joint checking acct is a different story. My wife loves to use her debit card instead of the checkbook, unfortunately, she has been known to forget to record some of her transactions.

Plus, I am the type that will keep looking and looking if I am even a penny off. I will disect the entire account to find that one penny.

In the last year, we have started using the envelope method, and it has worked great. In our marriage, there is no such thing as her money or my money. We consider it ours, even though we have separate accounts.

BTW, okcgoddess, Dave Ramsey is a Christian man that teaches you how to have financial peace. He has written many books, one which is entitled "Total Money Makeover." Check out his websites. I've also been to his seminars, and I would recommend it to anybody....especially young, married couples.

http://www.daveramsey.com/shop/Audio_CD_Special_With_Free_Boo_P227C48.cfm?afid=7

http://www.daveramsey.com/

Dave Ramsey is a Christian financial planner. Pretty famous guy. He got rich, lost it all, then learned how to put it all back together. Check out his website at www.DaveRamsey.com (http://www.DaveRamsey.com).

Madmonk, we went through the Financial Peace Seminar at our church. We wanted to see him in person when he came to town, but didn't get a chance to. I encourage anyone and everyone to take his course at a church. It's excellent.

Yup, we use the envelope system, but it's all run behind a budget as well. Obviously, there are some things you can't use an envelope system for, like most utility bills, but they go into the budget. We mostly use the envelope system for Gasoline, Groceries, Date Night, Blow Fund, Out to Eat Fund, Clothing Fund, Tithe, etc.

Also, we have an emergency fund....right now we have it in savings, but I'm going to open up a money market account soon, as Dave suggests. They draw more interest. Only drawback is there's a 48 hour waiting period to get your money out. But, that's where I have a credit card. If an emergency comes up, I'll use the card, then pay it back when I get the money out of the account.

I know, I know, I'm not supposed to use credit cards, but it makes sense in this case. I'll point out that we have a zero balance on our credit card.

Also, there's nothing wrong with having a home mortgage. You basically have to have one in today's society. We'll have one, but we'll probably go with a 15 year note, instead of the 30 year......less interest....and of course we'll attempt to pay it off early.

Also, with cars, with what interest rates are, I think you're actually better going with a low interest car loan, and investing the money you would've paid for the car in a good mutual fund. You can still get around 8% on a decent mutual fund.

By the way, we obviously haven't made it all through Dave Ramsey's steps since we're just now starting out. We have the emergency fund in place, and no debt other than student loans. Next step was to do the 401K up to the match. We just recently did that. Next, we'll go for the Roth IRA. After we get than in check we'll look at mutual funds to build wealth.

Also, we'll probably do what Dave suggests...not buy new cars, but buy cars that are a few years old. Cars lose so much value within the first year or so. I'm currently driving a 1993 Nissan that my folks bought brand new. I've taken good care of it, and will probably run it for a long time. That way I can build wealth in the meantime, instead of giving it to the car manufacturers.

Most people that become millionaires didn't start out living like millionaries.

your mine and ours. That is the plan. We are going to keep our individual accounts and have a joint household account. The individual accounts will not be discussed between us.

your mine and ours. That is the plan. We are going to keep our individual accounts and have a joint household account. The individual accounts will not be discussed between us.
That's just wrong. So, your individual accounts will not be discussed? There should never be secrets, when you are married, when it comes to finances. I assume, by the nature of your post, that you are married?

That's just wrong. So, your individual accounts will not be discussed? There should never be secrets, when you are married, when it comes to finances. I assume, by the nature of your post, that you are married?

We decided to have our personal accounts so she can buy what she needs when she needs it and so we do not have to get the others permission to buy something. It may not work for you, however, it does for us.

We decided to have our personal accounts so she can buy what she needs when she needs it and so we do not have to get the others permission to buy something. It may not work for you, however, it does for us.
The way your post reads, it sounds like you just got married. Is that true?

Right now, we use three accounts, one for me, one for her, and one for joint expenses. We contribute equal shares to the joint expense account. I imagine that this system will work for a little while. Eventually, however, (with a little luck) there will eventually be a large disparity in income. At that some point in the future, the joint account will be the only one that has any meaningful use.

When there's a disparity in income, I believe it's unfair for the 'bread winner' to pretend that every dollar he gives his spouse is some sort of gift. What's mine is hers and vice versa.

Other folks will do it differently, I think for people with smaller incomes (like we have right now) the joint account thing works well, it cuts down on financial tension and still allows us to go out and buy $400 worth of clothes and not make our spouse have to sacrifice anything for it.

That's just wrong. So, your individual accounts will not be discussed? There should never be secrets, when you are married, when it comes to finances. I assume, by the nature of your post, that you are married?

I agree. As a married couple you have to work as a team. If you're hiding things from each other, the result could be devastating. Remember, money is the number 1 thing couples fight about. The more open you are with each other about money, the fewer problems you will have. Being on the same page really helps. Communication is key.

We decided to have our personal accounts so she can buy what she needs when she needs it and so we do not have to get the others permission to buy something. It may not work for you, however, it does for us.

You're also not married. That's not a good reasoning. She can still buy what she needs from a joint account. Under your system, you're not being open with each other. Asking permission makes sure you're both on the same page, as Patrick mentioned.

The way your post reads, it sounds like you just got married. Is that true?

No, last I checked he's shacking up with another lady. Unless he's now married under common law.

No, last I checked he's shacking up with another lady. Unless he's now married under common law.


What does this have to do with the married finance thread? :backtotop

Okay....let's not be confrontational. My husband and I have a joint account; both paychecks go in and all bill come out. I do, however, know people who have some seperate accounts that they can spend out of without a thought. It's the same basic premise as "fun money." It's not keeping secrets...it may just be easier that way. If that's what works for Mr. Anderson in his relationship, then good for him!

We do have a joint account, but neither of us "asks permission" to spend. Now, we may have a "discussion" about it, but those are two totally different things in my opinion. Just because there may be more than one checkbook involved, does NOT mean you're not working as a team.

Right now, we use three accounts, one for me, one for her, and one for joint expenses. We contribute equal shares to the joint expense account. I imagine that this system will work for a little while. Eventually, however, (with a little luck) there will eventually be a large disparity in income. At that some point in the future, the joint account will be the only one that has any meaningful use.

When there's a disparity in income, I believe it's unfair for the 'bread winner' to pretend that every dollar he gives his spouse is some sort of gift. What's mine is hers and vice versa.

Other folks will do it differently, I think for people with smaller incomes (like we have right now) the joint account thing works well, it cuts down on financial tension and still allows us to go out and buy $400 worth of clothes and not make our spouse have to sacrifice anything for it.
I like your way of thinking. I think it is only fair that if you both work, then you should both contribute equal shares to the joint account. When my wife and I get paid, we both get an allowance. This allowance is for whatever we need it for. Now, when there is a large purchase that needs to be made, we consult each other to make sure that we agree on the purchase.

There are times when my wife doesn't have much in the joint account, so when that happens, I will occasionally hand her a $20 bill or larger, from my account, and tell her to do with it as she wishes. It is not considered a gift since the money was actually OUR money, not hers or mine. It just happened to come from the account that has more money.

Plus, I have access to both accounts online. That way, I can keep up with the balances and make sure that she records all of her VISA transactions, since she forgets sometimes. Do I question some of her expenditures? Sometimes I do. Does she question mine? Sometimes. What is so neat about this is that we are honest with each other and we have a calm conversation about it. We hide nothing from each other.

What does this have to do with the married finance thread? :backtotop

The topic was to be about what married people do with their finances. mranderson answered this question as if he were married: "We decided to have our personal accounts so she can buy what she needs when she needs it and so we do not have to get the others permission to buy something. It may not work for you, however, it does for us." I wanted to set the record straight that this dude is not married. So what worth is his viewpoint here? He doesn't even know what it's like to manage money in a marriage.

Um, Midtowner isn't married and he responded, too. You don't have to be married to have joint finances and do the same things financially that married couples do. Yes, I know that the thread is called "Finances when married" but why pick mranderson out?

Just a thought.

Midtowner never acted like he was married.

Yup, we use the envelope system, but it's all run behind a budget as well. Obviously, there are some things you can't use an envelope system for, like most utility bills, but they go into the budget. We mostly use the envelope system for Gasoline, Groceries, Date Night, Blow Fund, Out to Eat Fund, Clothing Fund, Tithe, etc.

Describe the envelope system. I'm getting the image of stuffing a bunch of cash into various envelopes and waiting for bills to come. This can't be right.


Also, we have an emergency fund....right now we have it in savings, but I'm going to open up a money market account soon, as Dave suggests. They draw more interest. Only drawback is there's a 48 hour waiting period to get your money out. But, that's where I have a credit card. If an emergency comes up, I'll use the card, then pay it back when I get the money out of the account.

Good plan, but credit cards aren't bad at all if used responsibly. First, they build credit. Having many credit cards and a lot of unused available balance can really help your credit score. Your credit score will help you obtain better rates on mortgages, car loans, etc. as well as allowing you to qualify for other money-saving special financing plans at various retail, furniture, etc. type stores. Second, look for a credit card with a decent rewards program. If you fly a lot, get one that gives you frequent flyer miles (they also provide some great lost luggage insurance and other types of benefits). Personally, I have a card through Chase which pays back 1%-5% on everything I buy. I've *made* $150+ this year in cashback just for using my credit card. The key is to pay it 100% off every month and not to buy anything you can't afford. If you do that, there are plenty of security and financial incentives to use the plastic.


Also, there's nothing wrong with having a home mortgage. You basically have to have one in today's society. We'll have one, but we'll probably go with a 15 year note, instead of the 30 year......less interest....and of course we'll attempt to pay it off early.

Mortgages are great. As far as working hard to pay it off though, I'll have to differ with you there. Think about it.. your average home loan right now is in the 5.8%-6.0% range. Your average decent mutual fund does about 8% a year. Take that extra cash and invest it in an interest/revenue bearing account which grows faster than your mortgage does and you'll be money ahead.

Debt isn't a bad thing, and in that sense, debt can make you money. It's not uncommon for an investor to take out a loan at a good interest rate, invest the money in a relatively safe investment and end up money ahead.

Midtowner never acted like he was married.

How does one act when one is married oh master of how married people act?

Read mranderson's exchange with Randy.

Seriously, Jack, what does it really matter?

Are YOU married? Why are you posting to this thread if you aren't? Are we going to be that elitist that someone who doesn't meet 100% of the criteria of the subject of the thread can't post here?

Get over it.

Back to topic.

Describe the envelope system. I'm getting the image of stuffing a bunch of cash into various envelopes and waiting for bills to come. This can't be right.

The envelope system works along with your budget. The cash money that is budgeted for things like groceries, gasoline, spending money, etc. are divided up into envelopes. You're limited to that cash for the month, so you don't continuously run to the ATM and violate your budget. I basically make my budget the 1st of each month, and withdraw all the cash I need then. That's it.

Obviously, bills and stuff like that will be paid for by check, online, or whatever, and hopefully you've designated a guestimated amount into your budget for each bill.

The whole idea of the envelope system is it keeps you from overspending, plus you feel more like you're in control of your money, instead of putting everything on the card. It also helps the psyche understand exactly how much your spending.



Good plan, but credit cards aren't bad at all if used responsibly. First, they build credit. Having many credit cards and a lot of unused available balance can really help your credit score. Your credit score will help you obtain better rates on mortgages, car loans, etc. as well as allowing you to qualify for other money-saving special financing plans at various retail, furniture, etc. type stores. Second, look for a credit card with a decent rewards program. If you fly a lot, get one that gives you frequent flyer miles (they also provide some great lost luggage insurance and other types of benefits). Personally, I have a card through Chase which pays back 1%-5% on everything I buy. I've *made* $150+ this year in cashback just for using my credit card. The key is to pay it 100% off every month and not to buy anything you can't afford. If you do that, there are plenty of security and financial incentives to use the plastic.

I completely agree. Problem is, most Americans get in the credit card loop and DON'T pay them off every month. I, like you, use a credit card to build credit history, but I pay it off every month, and only spend my allotted budgeted money for that. For example, I usually use my credit card for clothing purchases....but only up to the $100 I have budgeted every month. I pay my card off every month. So, I get the activity which ups my credit score, but I don't pay the bank anything.

Like I said, most Americans aren't that responsible though. Midtowner, we just have self control over these issues. Report came out today that said the mean credit card debt in the US is around $5,000, and 95% of Americans carry balances every month.



Mortgages are great. As far as working hard to pay it off though, I'll have to differ with you there. Think about it.. your average home loan right now is in the 5.8%-6.0% range. Your average decent mutual fund does about 8% a year. Take that extra cash and invest it in an interest/revenue bearing account which grows faster than your mortgage does and you'll be money ahead.

Okay, I agree with that. I personally would do that, but guess what percentage of Americans invest in a mutual fund? It's not very high actually. I think I read less than 15%. Most Americans are actually pretty ignorant when it comes to finances. For example, my parents stash all of their money away in savings. They have thousands of dollars in savings. Yet, it's only making 1.4% interest. Ouch. They've put some of it in CD's, but even that's only around 4%. Inflation is around 5-6%. Had they put their savings in a mutual fund years ago, they'd probably be millionaires by now. But, like most Americans they're pretty ignorant about finances.


Debt isn't a bad thing, and in that sense, debt can make you money. It's not uncommon for an investor to take out a loan at a good interest rate, invest the money in a relatively safe investment and end up money ahead.

True. As an example we have a car loan for my wife's car at 1.9%. Got it when they had the good deals awhile back. The money I'm saving I'm putting in my Roth IRA which I have divided up into a variety of mutual funds.

I haven't got the money right now to invest in mutual funds....we're just now working on getting our Roth funded, since we already made the complete match on the 401K. Next step will be mutual funds, probably when I start my career.

Anyhow, my point is, by saving the money that would've gone to pay the car in cash, I'm paying the 1.9% interest, but getting back around 8% interest from the mutual funds. That gives me a net 6%, plus I'm improving my credit score.

Great discussion.

By the way, Dave Ramsey's suggestions fit better for the typical average American who has high credit card debt.

Since both you and I have good self control, we can bend the rules in our favor and make it work.

For example, I also use credit card for gasoline. It's simply more convient. But, again, the approx. money is budgeted every month on paper, to pay that off.

The only envelopes I have are those for cash......things like groceries, spending money, out to eat fund, date night fund, etc. Those are things that would be easy to go over on if the money wasn't taken out at the beginning of the month. For example, once the out to eat fund is gone for the month, that's it! If I didn't have the fund, I'd probably be more likely to give in, especially when it's been a long day and I don't feel like cooking.

Here's a description of Dave Ramsey's envelope system:

http://www.daveramsey.com/etc/cms/index.cfm?intContentID=3461

Personally, I think requiring students to take a course like Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University, would help improve the debt problem in America. So many Americans graduate high school, without the slightest idea how to manage money, manage a checkbook, plan a budget, make smart investments, save for retirement, etc.

I concur as to that Patrick. High school has become something of a joke in my estimation. There is very little, if any useful knowledge imparted upon the students. I'd love to see a reallignment of high school classes. With our current statutory requirements, Oklahoma students are required to study 4 years worth of certain subjects with an unfortunate lack of other subject matter. I'd love to see something that would prepare these kids for the 'real world' be it college or the work force.

I recall my first HS had a class that taught these life and financial values. I'm pretty sure that such a class is not offered in public schools.

I look at the envelope system as a way of building discipline, especially when you are first starting out. After you do it a while, you can go back to using your debit card and checks while still maintaing control. Ramsey seems a little militant when comes to credit cards though. If you know how to play the game, they can be usefull. We have a couple credit cards. One I use for monthly expenses that I don't want to use a debit card for (i.e. Netflix) that gets paid off every month and another that I carry a balance on. However, it has an interest rate of 0% and no annual fee.

What I do is let it ride for 0% for as long as the term allows (while paying it down) and then when the term is up I call to ask to extend the term. If they refuse, which they usually do, I transfer my balance to another card that has that offer and close the old account. I haven't paid a dime in CC interest (or fees) in over two years. The way I see it, as long as the CC companies are willing to give me a 0% card offer, I'm going to take advantage of it - its like an interest-free loan. In fact, my current 0% term is coming to an end in April. I have about 6 offers for 0% cards sitting on my desk. One of them has 0% through Dec '07 which will probably be my choice unless something better comes along. ;)

My school is atually instating a class, can't remember the name, but it's going to be like a personal finance class. It will count toward a math credit (our kids are on a 4 by 4 system...4 math, english, science, and social studies) to help those that aren't really ready for Calculus. It's supposed to teach them how to figure taxes, work with credit, budgeting, etc.

Hopefully the class will go well and we can set a good example for other schools.

I look at the envelope system as a way of building discipline, especially when you are first starting out. After you do it a while, you can go back to using your debit card and checks while still maintaing control. Ramsey seems a little militant when comes to credit cards though. If you know how to play the game, they can be usefull. We have a couple credit cards. One I use for monthly expenses that I don't want to use a debit card for (i.e. Netflix) that gets paid off every month and another that I carry a balance on. However, it has an interest rate of 0% and no annual fee.

What I do is let it ride for 0% for as long as the term allows (while paying it down) and then when the term is up I call to ask to extend the term. If they refuse, which they usually do, I transfer my balance to another card that has that offer and close the old account. I haven't paid a dime in CC interest (or fees) in over two years. The way I see it, as long as the CC companies are willing to give me a 0% card offer, I'm going to take advantage of it - its like an interest-free loan. In fact, my current 0% term is coming to an end in April. I have about 6 offers for 0% cards sitting on my desk. One of them has 0% through Dec '07 which will probably be my choice unless something better comes along. ;)

Yeah, you're definitely right. I'd say Dave Ramsey's techniques are more for the beginner, with lots of credit card debt, and little fiscal discpline. I think the reason Dave is so much against credit cards is, because those that are caught up in credit card debt, obviously have impulse control problems managing them. So the best solution for them, is to simply get rid of the credit card.

For me, I have our 6 month emergency fund locked up in a Money Market account.....gets better interest than a traditional savings account....I believe it's drawing upwards of 3.5% while my Savings account is getting 1.4%. Only problem with this type of account, is I have a 48 hour waiting period to withdraw money. So, obviously, it's good to have a credit card in these emergency situations. Later, I can withdraw from my emergency fund to pay the card off.

MadMonk, one thing that concerns me with continuously transferring money from 1 no interest card to another, is actually, the more accounts you have opened and closed over a 7 year period, the lower your credit score. Not sure why that is......I guess all they see on the credit report is the number of accounts you've held in the past 7 years. Obviously, if it's a lot, that's looks bad because it looks as if you've had a lot of open avenues of debt.

My school is atually instating a class, can't remember the name, but it's going to be like a personal finance class. It will count toward a math credit (our kids are on a 4 by 4 system...4 math, english, science, and social studies) to help those that aren't really ready for Calculus. It's supposed to teach them how to figure taxes, work with credit, budgeting, etc.

Hopefully the class will go well and we can set a good example for other schools.

Whoo Hooo! Glad to hear that.

Patrick,
I'm not sure if its just the number of accounts held that's an issue or if its the number of open accounts (or potential credit debt) available for use. Whenever I switch accounts, I'm always careful to close the account - not just pay it off. I check my credit report annually and make sure no account is open that shouldn't be. In any case, if it is an issue, it doesn't seem to be affecting my ability to obtain credit. I've been fortunate enough to have never been late on any credit card, car loan or mortgage payments so I'm sure that helps things. Car loans, mortgages, etc have all been a slam dunk to obtain and with really good interest rates.

Patrick,
I'm not sure if its just the number of accounts held that's an issue or if its the number of open accounts (or potential credit debt) available for use. Whenever I switch accounts, I'm always careful to close the account - not just pay it off. I check my credit report annually and make sure no account is open that shouldn't be. In any case, if it is an issue, it doesn't seem to be affecting my ability to obtain credit. I've been fortunate enough to have never been late on any credit card, car loan or mortgage payments so I'm sure that helps things. Car loans, mortgages, etc have all been a slam dunk to obtain and with really good interest rates.

You may be right on that. I'll be honest...I'm not for sure.

wELL just my to sense when my wife and i were living togeather for 6 yrs she took care of the check book now that we have been married for7 yrs she still does it and she payes all bills but need to keep closer watch over it

I think if you don't combine your finances you haven't mentally combined your lives. Marriage is not HIS and HERS. It should be OURS! Next thing you know married people will be asking if its okay to maintain separate dwellings. She wouldn't have to pick up his dirty socks and he wouldn't have to put up with "girly" stuff. What is this world coming to?

We tried having a joint account but it was just another hassle for us. I don't think I should have to justify every little purchase to my husband, and I rarely know what he gets until he shows it to me. We both know how to spend within our limits, we know what the bills are going to be approximately, and groceries.

Everyone does things differently. It doesn't make them wrong, it doesn't mean society is coming to an end. It just means they are different.

Wheeler I disagree completely. I have been married for several years and we never really even discussed a joint account. When we met we had our own accounts and took care of our business just fine. When we got married there was no reason to change it.

Of all my married friends, the number one issue they say they argue about is money. "I make most of the money and yet you out spend me 3-to-1." "I see you've been going out to eat alot" "Why did you take $200 out of the ATM the other day" blah blah blah.

My wife has a good job and so do I. We know what the bills average and we have split them up. We really never had a sit down discussion, she just had the mortage and insurances taken out of her account automatically and I picked up the utilities, cell phones, groceries, going out etc.

We only buy cars we can pay cash for so there is no car payment and low insurance rates.

I can see her account online and she can see mine. The only time we even bother to look into the others is if we are transferring money to cover something.

I can honestly say we have never argued once over finances, other than to wish we had more.

I would highly recommend seperate accounts and it has nothing to do with committment.

^^ Agree completely.

Right now, both the hubby and I make fairly equal amounts...except now that he's on my health insurance, I'm getting so much more taken out each month I'm going to be quite poor lol. So his mom and I devised a plan, since the hubby works for his father as a legal assistant, where they would essentially pay him back for the health insurance through a raise, because even with the expensive health care he's getting through my (state) coverage, it's still cheaper for his parents!

So now I don't pay rent haha. I buy the groceries. He does all the bills and the rent now, and I buy the groceries. We treat each other when we go out, though I have a feeling my money is going to become "fun" money for the two of us. I don't really spend a whole lot on myself, just clothes occasionally and workout dvd's :P

It all works out in the end. We really haven't ever argued about finances.

In the future, when he's a big-shot attorney (we can hope haha) my money will be so trite compared to what he will make, since I'm a teacher. His parents have that same deal and it's worked out just fine for them. I'm not worried about it at all.

When we want to make a big purchase (next purchase: Plasma TV, then a Wii!) we just go in half and half. No big deal. And we are certainly committed to each other!