View Full Version : ATM procedures.

10-04-2004, 09:50 AM
Remember, ladies, this is only a joke. I'm sure this has NEVER happened to any of you.LOL :D

Banking Procedures:

A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: Please note that this bank is installing new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the below outlined procedures when accessing their accounts. MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed after months of careful research. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.


1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Roll down your car window.

3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.


1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine

3. Set parking brake, put the window down

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Turn the radio down.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open the car door to allow easy access to machine due to it's excessive distance from the vehicle.

8. Insert card.

9. Reinsert card the right way up.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and reenter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check make up in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Recheck make-up again.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

23. Give appropriate hand signal to irate male driver lined up behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull away.

25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

26. Release Parking Brake

Joe Schmoe
10-05-2004, 04:54 AM

Oh keith, that is harsh!

Totally right on, but harsh.


10-05-2004, 10:25 PM
Hmmmm. This sounds awfully familiar when my fiancee is driving the car!!! Thanks Keith for putting this up! I think it's quite hilarious!