Men Only: How many times would you imply to a female that you'd like to go out/ get to know each other better before it felt as if you were begging, desperate, or should move on?

Consider the recommendations that are responded to with an answer which implies you should ask again later.

Regardless of the reason......How many times shoud a man ask before moving on?
..........Two for me, by that time she'll either suggest an alternative on her own or you should move on.

Two times, suggest a day/time......suggest a day/time again, and if she doesn't appear to want to after that, save yourself the trouble and move on.

To me, that's being generous......If she wanted to know you better, she'd suggest an alternative meeting after the first invitation.....So if she doesn't seem interested after the first invitation, you can feel confident in moving on....Second invite is only a courtesy.

I think you should ask once and only once. If she says no, you should move on. (especially if there is an established relationship).

When a woman is seriously interested in dating you. She will clear her schedule for you or give you a designated time when she is available.

Repetitively asking for a date just makes you look like a desperate loser. Besides if she develops an interest in you later she will approach you.

Oklacity 75 I agree with you 100%

It depends on how bad you want her. I have been known to ask several times, then just point blank say "I have asked you out several times and you have said maybe. Are you at all interested in going out with me?" If she gives me a direct no, then I move on. If not, I analyze my chances and go from there.

Here is a real case. I do yahoo and match.com a lot. One woman replied to my response several months ago, and we started emailing. In time, I told her I wanted to meet, and she actually agreed after several times telling her. Finally, we made firm plans, but she had a commitment she had forgotten about, so she had to cancel with an appology. We have said we are planning on meeting many times, however, she is in the middle of a divorce which is quite taxing on her. I am being patient with her while seeing or contacting others as well. I will not give up on her because my gut feeling is she and I are meant to meet.

I know a lot of people think I am nuts for being that patient, however, most people are not patient enough when it comes to relationships. It is one mistake and you are out. Plus, if she does not like what she see's or if you have even one date she does not enjoy, you are history, pal. So, patience could be worth it.

I think you should ask once and only once. If she says no, you should move on. (especially if there is an established relationship).

When a woman is seriously interested in dating you. She will clear her schedule for you or give you a designated time when she is available.

Repetitively asking for a date just makes you look like a desperate loser. Besides if she develops an interest in you later she will approach you.


I think I like your answer better than my own.

I can understand twice in some cases. It could be possible that maybe you catch someone off guard with asking her out that maybe she had no time to think and said no, but after the second time... then no more. Not that you cant still talk or be freinds. Just like phone calls, if she doesnt answer or call back after the second call.....in fact that I will even stretch until after the third...then dump the number and move on.

Okay here are a few pointers for you guys.

Asking for a date:

If she says she is to busy to see you, move on. Find a woman who will make time for you. I do not care who she is, if she likes you she will make time for you. There is no since in making an ass of yourself.

Repeatedly asking for a date does nothing more than get you fired and puts your name on restraining orders. (Does the term stalker mean anything?) That behavior only works in the movies and in books. Best case scenario is that you get a pity date. This means she is just seeing you so you will leave her alone.

Phone calls:

Never talk to answering machine. If you feel you have to leave a message, just leave your name and number only. Wait for her to call you back. Filling up her machine or voicemail will not make her call you sooner. Last but not least,call her in moderation.


Spending Time Together:

Do not feel you need to spend every waking hour with her. Spending too much time together can be just like having burgers every night. Eventually you grow tired of it and want to have something else.

Women are too difficult and make wonderful friends. Being gay isn't easier, but since I'm a man, I know what a man wants. Women rule the world and I wish the greatest of luck to loyal, devoted men. Guys never, I say, never give up on the girl of your dreams, the worst she can say is No.

Women are too difficult and make wonderful friends. Being gay isn't easier, but since I'm a man, I know what a man wants. Women rule the world and I wish the greatest of luck to loyal, devoted men. Guys never, I say, never give up on the girl of your dreams, the worst she can say is No.


I agree with you I think if a man has a desire to date a woman and he knows she is available. Go for it, ask her out.

Just do it with dignity and ask only once. Asking her more than that will make you look weak and desperate.

*HINT* Women are emotionally ensnared by endearing, spontaneous gestures of affection/attention.

True, But only if they want to be ensnared.

Very true, but I think that goes for anyone. One must at least entertain the notion of being head over heels before they fall. I am a hopeful romantic (Pisces) that can find romance in a cheap bottle of wine over a can of pork and beans. :artist:

kahloist, you sound like the perfect guy! If it's there, it's there, it shouldn't matter if you find romance over pork and beans, or steak and lobster.

Why thank you Karried, I would have to say that I never tire while reading your comments. Intelligence as well as empathy is a virtue, and you are all the more eloquent to possess them both.

:Smiley078 ahh Kahloist, I'm blushing at the compliment! Thanks so much - the feeling is mutual!

Did this thread just turn into a chick-flick?