View Full Version : The power a Twix Bar has over people



kelroy55
02-20-2014, 12:11 PM
Especially stupid people......


A 27-year-old Spirit Lake, Iowa man has lost his job and unemployment benefits for using a forklift on a malfunctioning vending machine.

Robert McKevitt had deposited $1 in a vending machine last fall, but the 90-cent Twix candy bar he wanted wouldn't fall.

State unemployment records say his banging and rocking the machine didn't work, so McKevitt commandeered a forklift, picked up the machine at least six times and dropped it on the floor at the Polaris Industries' warehouse in Milford where he worked. Three candy bars fell.

A judge has denied McKevitt's claim for unemployment benefits, saying he'd willfully disregarded his employer's interests. McKevitt claims he never lifted and dropped the machine, but did use it to move the machine back in place.

kevinpate
02-20-2014, 12:54 PM
Was he after the left side or the right side? Somebody, please, please, please tell me. I simply must know this. How else can I decide whether to admire or revile this man and his efforts?

Awww, rain on it. I'm gonna switch back to Three Musketeers and just let their airy goodness just float serenely around me.

traxx
02-20-2014, 12:59 PM
is5aQ0KIHUI

Plutonic Panda
02-20-2014, 03:02 PM
Hey man, that can get pretty frustrating lol... I know one time time I was behind a gentleman of the African American variety, he deposited some money into the vending machine to get something and it got stuck, he picked up a chair and threw it into the machine. I just took the Hershey's bar that I wanted and left a dollar by the machine. :p

Stan Silliman
02-20-2014, 03:21 PM
I like Twix. It's causes me sinus troubles, but still I try them even knowing the cost.

RadicalModerate
02-20-2014, 05:22 PM
I LOVES me a Twix bar. They are the perfect balance between a candy bar and a cookie. Twix goes good with both coffee AND milk.
Unfortunately . . . I choose not to eat them anymore. Sometimes this self-deprivation is nearly unbearable.

Here's another thing:
Do you really think that it is a mere coincidence that one of the best strategy games ever is: TwixT?
(Twix with an extra T. Can't be a coincidence. Although . . . they may have named the candy bar after the game . . . hmmmmmm)

Mitch Hedberg: "They carve the name Kit Kat on the candy bar. I think this is chocolate theft.
I'm thinking of writing the company to complain . . . I hope they will send me some letters."

Mel
02-20-2014, 07:02 PM
Never had a twix bar Are they that expensive? Love me some forklifts though. I know the trick to picking up a penny with one. That got me a few free lunches.

RadicalModerate
02-20-2014, 07:11 PM
Never had a twix bar Are they that expensive? Love me some forklifts though. I know the trick to picking up a penny with one. That got me a few free lunches.

What? $0.90 is expensive for a little piece of paradise? If the damn vending machine had simply rounded the cost up to a simple dollar ($1.00) none of this would have even happened (fer cryin' out loud). And a dollar for a Twix is really, really, cheap (btw).

(I never heard the forklift/picking up a penny trick before, but let me guess:)
"I can pick up a penny with a forklift."
"I'll bet you a couple of cases of Twix Candy Bars you can't."
"You're on."

You pull a penny out of your pocket, put it on a pallet, start the forklift, and pick it up.
(the penny on the pallet, not the forklift).

ctchandler
02-20-2014, 07:28 PM
Mel,
I know it's off topic, but I used a large fork lift to pick up a small fork lift and the drive in a fork lift fight when I was in the Navy. Talk about stupid, I don't know how we survived. Never tried to pick up a penny though. I have gotten a little irritated and banged (not too hard) a vending machine when it ripped me off.
C. T.
Never had a twix bar Are they that expensive? Love me some forklifts though. I know the trick to picking up a penny with one. That got me a few free lunches.

Mel
02-20-2014, 07:40 PM
Sometimes it just ain't funny until somebody is bruised or bleeding. The good ol' days. I have driven forks from the size you use to lift a ton or so down to a glorified pallet jack. Being O.T. also. This guy sounds like he wanted to be fired. You just don't lose it at work anymore.

catch22
02-20-2014, 08:30 PM
Hey man, that can get pretty frustrating lol... I know one time time I was behind a gentleman of the African American variety, he deposited some money into the vending machine to get something and it got stuck, he picked up a chair and threw it into the machine. I just took the Hershey's bar that I wanted and left a dollar by the machine. :p

What's his race have to do with anything?

I am white and have had my fair share of frustrations with vending machines.

Plutonic Panda
02-20-2014, 09:12 PM
It's called being descriptive. Right after I posted that, I immediately thought to myself, some liberal poster was going to point that out. Great to know it was you.

RadicalModerate
02-21-2014, 05:46 AM
It's called being descriptive. Right after I posted that, I immediately thought to myself, some liberal poster was going to point that out. Great to know it was you.

Perhaps your use of that particular descriptor, in connection with obtaining a candy bar, was a subliminal reference to "keeping one's eyes on the prize"?

Did you notice the "[racial] stereotyping" in the original story? How it played off of the well-known frugality--bordering on stinginess--of Scotsmen? Frankly, I'm surprised that the name of the victim of the vending machine's injustice didn't end in "ski".

Had The Case of The Unrepentant Forklift Driver involved a "liberal" the candy in question would have been Skittles, on account of their connection with The Rainbow Coalition.

kevinpate
02-21-2014, 05:57 AM
Never used a fork lift on a vending machine. A few small buildings here and there, but never a vending machine. They're just not that hard to tilt, unless you're a dweeb and it's a soda machine, then you get your dweebness immortalized in a warning sticker for all other dweebs to beware.

RadicalModerate
02-21-2014, 06:14 AM
Never used a fork lift on a vending machine. A few small buildings here and there, but never a vending machine. There just not that hard to tilt, unless you're a dweeb and it's a soda machine, then you get your dweebness immortalized in a warning sticker for all other dweebs to beware.

I am outraged that they don't require a braille version of that warning sticker.
(outraged, i say!)

Ginkasa
02-21-2014, 01:38 PM
It's called being descriptive. Right after I posted that, I immediately thought to myself, some liberal poster was going to point that out. Great to know it was you.

The question you should ask yourself is if you regularly describe people's race regardless of their race in stories that have nothing to do with race in order to be "descriptive."

Plutonic Panda
02-21-2014, 06:35 PM
The question you should ask yourself is if you regularly describe people's race regardless of their race in stories that have nothing to do with race in order to be "descriptive."There is no question and I'm not even going to respond to another one of these stupid posts regarding something that is not an issue. People need to stop being so sensitive.

RadicalModerate
02-21-2014, 07:47 PM
There is no question and I'm not even going to respond to another one of these stupid posts regarding something that is not an issue. People need to stop being so sensitive.

I think you missed the "liberal" "you should" in the lesson on how to approach "the high moral plain of existence" in the "advice" offered.
I wish the same advice would be offered to the Jackson/Sharptons of the world.

Oh . . . What the hell . . . Let's have a Twix and chill . . .