View Full Version : How do you end it?



mranderson
07-19-2005, 04:23 PM
You have "met" someone of the opposite sex through the internet personals. They did not have a picture, but you thought "what the heck. I might as well see what happens since I am not doing anything anyway." They send you a picture of someone that looks old enough to be your Mother or Father. You are not attracted to them and decide to go elsewhere.

This person is really nice, but you feel deep down you do not connect. What do you tell them to gently let them go? Do you tell them the truth, that they are uglier than your dog's backside, or do you find soemthing else? Is that other thing the truth, or is it a lie?

dirtrider73068
07-19-2005, 05:31 PM
Just tell them the truth and say the pic didn't match the description in the profile. If I responded to a ad without a pic only to find that the ad described a young female and the pic sent was not matched the profile I would them sorry the pic doesn't match what was described in the profile. Now if they were nice I would say but we can still email and chat kinda like a online buddy.

mranderson
07-19-2005, 05:35 PM
Just tell them the truth and say the pic didn't match the description in the profile. If I responded to a ad without a pic only to find that the ad described a young female and the pic sent was not matched the profile I would them sorry the pic doesn't match what was described in the profile. Now if they were nice I would say but we can still email and chat kinda like a online buddy.

What if it fit what she said? Example. Blonde, blue eyes, slender. Of course, she will not add "I'm ugly." Who would?

dirtrider73068
07-19-2005, 05:39 PM
Good question, if contacting only by email could always just stop emailing.

Jay
07-19-2005, 05:46 PM
I would be truthful but, tactful. On the other hand you could be creative and think of something that lets them know your not interested.

On a side note this situtation should give you a solution to an issue you posted.

People need to know why your rejecting them, so they can change for the better.


This is one of the many problems with personals. You never see the real person until you develop a form of trust. The development of trust just makes things harder when you decided to end it.

I haven't met anyone offline in a long while. When I was doing it I would ask to meet them as soon as I felt the time was right. I would ask to meet them in a public place with lots of people. I would explain to them its not date. Just a chance to meet each other in person. At the moment we met we would decide if we liked what we saw. If not it was a quick nice to meet you thanks but no thanks. No hard feelings from either side. Usually that did not happen we would talk and plan a date.

Quick word of advice when you meet a stranger online or through any type of personals. Do not tell them anything personal that could harm you. Keep the chatter light and impersonal. You never know when you could be meeting Aileen Wuornos.

mranderson
07-19-2005, 05:50 PM
Good question, if contacting only by email could always just stop emailing.

Think about that. How would it make YOU feel if someone did that to you? (yes I am going somewhere with this)

Curt
07-19-2005, 07:29 PM
Just be honest, how will they ever know what to change if they dont know what is wrong?

dirtrider73068
07-19-2005, 07:53 PM
I have thought about it I have had that happen to me several times, have you been ignored like that? Thats why I said be truthful but for alot of people they don't know how to be truthful and hide behind there computers. Like was mentioned before when told why rejected then that person can either change how they look or act to make it better the next time. This is why I gave up on any dateing site or even trying to get a date cause nobody can be truthful and be honest.

Karried
07-19-2005, 08:45 PM
How about saying this " I am flattered that you want to get to know me better, but I don't think romantically you are my type, however, we can continue a platonic relationship and possibly become good friends".

Regarding the beauty issue - Everyone has a different idea of what beautiful is..... some of the most beautiful people I've ever known aren't models and might be considered 'ugly' by some of you..... Shallow Hal is a cute reminder of this....

I agree with Okla75, work on improving anything that might be considered a 'flaw' even if no one will come right out and tell you - maybe it's crooked, yellow teeth with halitosis - get to the dentist asap... or body odor, outdated hairstyle, overweight, it could be any reason but these are things that can be fixed.

Come on, who in their right mind would say to someone ' you are ugly ' that would be so hurtful.. people can' t help the face they were born with and most can' t afford to change it. Maybe we should all try to discover the person inside and not focus so much on a perceived idea of beauty.