I have been in OKC for a year now after moving from Charlotte. I love the job I have here and this was definitely an excellent career move for me. However, my social life still is pretty much limited to Skyping with friends back in Charlotte. The thing is, I am an introvert so I don't make friends as easily as a lot of people. I find myself unique in that I am a guy who doesn't like sports except for being a casual Thunder follower and am into the arts. I am also in my late 20s and not married yet and don't want to be for a few more years. I am also the kind of guy who likes to get out and do stuff. So far, my attempt to discover my niche in OKC has been very rocky.

I have tried the church scene and have tried most of the most popular churches around town i.e. Lifechurch, Victory, Crossings, etc and have found that the church scene is very family oriented and I stick out like a sore thumb being 28 now and not married (this wasn't a problem in Charlotte). I have not found anywhere with an active singles group like where I went out in Charlotte. I have done some volunteer work since I've been here but didn't form lasting relationships that way. How else is there to meet people in this city? I haven't tried Meetup.com because I had a terrible experience with it when I moved to Charlotte. Maybe its better here and need to face my fear. Nonetheless, being an introvert is a huge hurdle I have to overcome but I did it easily in Charlotte so it would make sense that I should be able to here.

Despite sometimes being overly harsh on OKC on this forum I think it's a city I could learn to love if I could find my niche. For those on this forum who relocated from elsewhere, knowing nobody here, how long did it take you to really feel at home and how did you go about it?

I have been in OKC for a year now after moving from Charlotte. I love the job I have here and this was definitely an excellent career move for me. However, my social life still is pretty much limited to Skyping with friends back in Charlotte. The thing is, I am an introvert so I don't make friends as easily as a lot of people. I find myself unique in that I am a guy who doesn't like sports except for being a casual Thunder follower and am into the arts. I am also in my late 20s and not married yet and don't want to be for a few more years. I am also the kind of guy who likes to get out and do stuff. So far, my attempt to discover my niche in OKC has been very rocky.

I have tried the church scene and have tried most of the most popular churches around town i.e. Lifechurch, Victory, Crossings, etc and have found that the church scene is very family oriented and I stick out like a sore thumb being 28 now and not married (this wasn't a problem in Charlotte). I have not found anywhere with an active singles group like where I went out in Charlotte. I have done some volunteer work since I've been here but didn't form lasting relationships that way. How else is there to meet people in this city? I haven't tried Meetup.com because I had a terrible experience with it when I moved to Charlotte. Maybe its better here and need to face my fear. Nonetheless, being an introvert is a huge hurdle I have to overcome but I did it easily in Charlotte so it would make sense that I should be able to here.

Despite sometimes being overly harsh on OKC on this forum I think it's a city I could learn to love if I could find my niche. For those on this forum who relocated from elsewhere, knowing nobody here, how long did it take you to really feel at home and how did you go about it?

Making new friends can be tough for guys at any age. Have you tried pubs? I don't mean the "club scene" or even the "bar scene" but neighborhood pubs where you can sit around and join in a conversation easily and meet new people. I find Oklahoma City extremely friendly in that area. Just something to think about. It's also easy to go alone, because so many of the others are alone as well, after work, lunch time, etc. Don't feel like you have to order alcohol either. They're really just good spots for simple food and good conversation. Good luck!

Skinny Slim's is an incredibly friendly local bar with a great, casual crowd. Just go any night and look for our Sid Burgess and he'll introduce you to everyone there. :) And I'm not kidding in the least.


Where do you live? If not downtown I'd highly recommend moving down there, getting involved in Urban Neighbors, etc. It's extremely friendly and everyone gets to know each other eventually.


Perhaps you could volunteer at the OKC Museum of Art or at least go to some of their socials. Same goes for many other museums and galleries.

Making new friends can be tough for guys at any age. Have you tried pubs? I don't mean the "club scene" or even the "bar scene" but neighborhood pubs where you can sit around and join in a conversation easily and meet new people. I find Oklahoma City extremely friendly in that area. Just something to think about. It's also easy to go alone, because so many of the others are alone as well, after work, lunch time, etc. Don't feel like you have to order alcohol either. They're really just good spots for simple food and good conversation. Good luck!

No, I have not. I have always been nervous about going to a bar/pub alone. Is there any specific places you would recommend?

Skinny Slim's is an incredibly friendly local bar with a great, casual crowd. Just go any night and look for our Sid Burgess and he'll introduce you to everyone there. :) And I'm not kidding in the least.


Where do you live? If not downtown I'd highly recommend moving down there, getting involved in Urban Neighbors, etc. It's extremely friendly and everyone gets to know each other eventually.


Perhaps you could volunteer at the OKC Museum of Art or at least go to some of their socials. Same goes for many other museums and galleries.

Thanks for that suggestion. I'll look into the OKC Museum of Art thing as well as Skinny Slim's. I live in the Gaillardia area by the way but am willing to drive to downtown OKC. I know its not optimal for my age but I have my reasons for living up here and am stuck for at least another year.

I can't really give any good advice here but I can sympathize with you as a fellow introvert.... Lived here 34 of my 44 years and to this day don't really have a circle of friends. I have a few acquaintances that I share activities with occasionally but even in a crowd of people I'm generally by myself.

I was single until my late 20's and fairly convinced I wasn't going to get married any time soon. Then, a co-worker set me up on a blind date and four months after that date I proposed - so, there is hope!

I worked so much up to that point that my 'friends' were often limited to those I worked around and those friendships seemed to be mostly limited to when I was at work.

I found that simply staying active in the things I enjoyed led to meeting people with similar qualities and likes. When I tried to force it (like going to churches I wouldn't have otherwise gone to, or going to bars when I'm not a 'bar person' only led to disaster). Even met one or two people online and those were total nightmares.

My wife and I are pretty social now and my closest friends were either met in our YMCA classes, are longtime classmate friends or I met professionally. From those relationships often new introductions are made and our circle expands.

Just do what you like doing and start doing more of it so that you are exposed to more people. If you're a good person and available (for friendship or relationship) then others of the same status will naturally find you. At least that's how it always worked for me.

Thanks for that suggestion. I'll look into the OKC Museum of Art thing as well as Skinny Slim's. I live in the Gaillardia area by the way but am willing to drive to downtown OKC. I know its not optimal for my age but I have my reasons for living up here and am stuck for at least another year.

Gosh, this explains a lot. Not a good place to be for a young single person.

If you're a dog person and don't have a dog, get one. People seem to be drawn to dog walkers.

Otherwise, please know that significant others often emerge from the darndest of places and situations.

I have been in OKC for a year now after moving from Charlotte. I love the job I have here and this was definitely an excellent career move for me. However, my social life still is pretty much limited to Skyping with friends back in Charlotte. The thing is, I am an introvert so I don't make friends as easily as a lot of people. I find myself unique in that I am a guy who doesn't like sports except for being a casual Thunder follower and am into the arts. I am also in my late 20s and not married yet and don't want to be for a few more years. I am also the kind of guy who likes to get out and do stuff. So far, my attempt to discover my niche in OKC has been very rocky.

I have tried the church scene and have tried most of the most popular churches around town i.e. Lifechurch, Victory, Crossings, etc and have found that the church scene is very family oriented and I stick out like a sore thumb being 28 now and not married (this wasn't a problem in Charlotte). I have not found anywhere with an active singles group like where I went out in Charlotte. I have done some volunteer work since I've been here but didn't form lasting relationships that way. How else is there to meet people in this city? I haven't tried Meetup.com because I had a terrible experience with it when I moved to Charlotte. Maybe its better here and need to face my fear. Nonetheless, being an introvert is a huge hurdle I have to overcome but I did it easily in Charlotte so it would make sense that I should be able to here.

Despite sometimes being overly harsh on OKC on this forum I think it's a city I could learn to love if I could find my niche. For those on this forum who relocated from elsewhere, knowing nobody here, how long did it take you to really feel at home and how did you go about it?I'm the same way man. After I left my friends in Dallas, I really haven't made very many friends here :P I still have a few friends down there I talk to and occasionally visit and a friend I met on Xbox Live and he lives in Jacksonville lol Hopefully I might meet some people in college. But all in all, I'm not too social. Luckily I have family. I can't imagine what it is like for you though, your friends are all the way in Charlotte and no family here(from what you've said).

Are you looking for a female partner or just friendship? If you're active and and looking for women to meet and date, there are some really smokin hot girls down at the Bricktown Climbing Gym and I've gotten a few of their numbers. Haven't really got any further than that, I'm shy and that is likely reason, but you could try there. Maybe yoga? People at the gym seem to be pretty friendly and the sauna is a good opportunity to start a conversation.

As much as it pains me to say it, being more pro-suburb, people in urban areas such as Midtown, Deep Deuce, Uptown, ect. seem to be more socially open to new friendships and more active than people in suburban areas, at least from what I've noticed. The problem with Edmond, is to really become friends with people, you kinda have fall into their category of an "ideal" friend as to people in Midtown are more open minded and willing to be friends with a wider category of people. That's just my 2 cents though. :)

I, too, was a very introverted person until my last few years of college. Growing up in Arkansas as an only child, I was very close to my parents, and I thought that being anything different from what they wanted me to be (married, children, church-going, etc.) was wrong. When I moved to Texas to finish school, I began to surround myself with people from all walks of life, and I was introduced to different cultures, backgrounds, and orientations. I also began to participate in school activities, community events, and social scenes, which eventually led me to meet plenty of people. I also learned not to take myself too seriously.

I agree with all the comments on here. I'd like to say one thing, though: don't try too hard to meet people. As long as you like yourself, they'll naturally gravitate towards you. I also love the "pub" suggestion; it's always nice to find a place you like and can become a "regular" with the staff. For me, it was Chili's in Amarillo (sad, but true). :)

Thanks for all the replies this far! I wish this part of the forum had a 'Like' button. To clarify, right now I am really just looking for friends and not a dating relationship. I'll definitely have to check out the OKC Museum of Art and Skinny Slim's as well as anything else suggested here.

Have you tried the "meet ups"? My son is in the same situation, although the move was just from Norman. Since they're designed for people who want to meet other people, I would think everyone is open to making new friends.

Meetups near Oklahoma City, Oklahoma - Meetup (http://www.meetup.com/cities/us/ok/oklahoma_city/)

Have you tried the "meet ups"? My son is in the same situation, although the move was just from Norman. Since they're designed for people who want to meet other people, I would think everyone is open to making new friends.

Meetups near Oklahoma City, Oklahoma - Meetup (http://www.meetup.com/cities/us/ok/oklahoma_city/)

Like I said, I have a very bad experience with those when I lived in Charlotte. I may give them another try here but I am somewhat nervous about it and therefore haven't tried it.

Sorry, I must not have read down far enough to see your comment about meetup. My son hasn't said anything negative about them here. How about joining some volunteer organizations that are more likely to have people your age? I know there's a younger person's branch of Making Oklahoma City Beautiful. Volunteer organizations are a good way of meeting people because you're working together rather than trying to make casual conversation. I bet there are some volunteer organizations that have concentrations of younger people in them. Join Urban Neighbors and bowl in their league. Go on the moonlight bike rides downtown.

Based on the replies, it seems like we could start an OKCTalk introvert club.

I'm also 28, but married with no kids. My wife and I stick out in any church we've visited here, too. I work with a people my parent's age, and anyone younger works for me - so work relationships are limited to work.

I really like OKC, but we're all a bit too spread out to just bump into new friends.

You seem to share a lot of interest with people on this forum...

Why not start there. I have several friends I have met on OKCTalk who are now very good friends of mine. Come to H&8th next week, ill be there and I'm sure many other OKCtalk people will be there.

And while we're thinking of downtown festivals... There is one every Friday except months with 5 Fridays. Good places to interact with people of a similar mindset and interests.

Do you play sports? When my wife and I moved here in January 2009, we didn't know a soul here either. My wife eventually became great friends with some coworkers, but at first, we flew "solo." I signed up with COASL (Central Oklahoma Adult Soccer Leagues) as a single player, got put on a team, made friends there. My wife started playing indoor soccer with some guys I played outdoor with, and we made friends through that.

If you're into the arts and what not, you can look into the Overture group with the OKCPhil. My wife and I just joined that as well.

Oops, just read the part of your first post about not liking sports. The 2nd part of my post would be more fitting for you then.

. . .Overture would be a great direction to look as well as OKCMOA. Also might want to head down for the Friday Art Walks in the Paseo as well as events in the Plaza District. Think Lyric has a group especially for younger supporters as well. You might try calling Alllied Arts and asking for a list of the groups that have groups for the younger crowd. Church related, but into the arts. . .check St Luke's/Poteet Theater. Don't give up!!:)

You seem to share a lot of interest with people on this forum...

Why not start there. I have several friends I have met on OKCTalk who are now very good friends of mine. Come to H&8th next week, ill be there and I'm sure many other OKCtalk people will be there.

Very good points.

Wish you would have come to our gathering last week.

Lots of cool people were there and no all are super out-going.

Very good points.

Wish you would have come to our gathering last week.

Lots of cool people were there and no all are super out-going.

And one good thing about meeting people through this forum is: there's a lot in common. I'm typically a pretty reserved person and don't start conversations usually. But knowing common ground is easy to get things going.

Drive down S Robinson
Pull to the curb.
Offer 20 for a guided tour of the area.
Pull into a vacant parking lot.
Count to 12
At 11, tell your guide she can leave
At 12, turn to your left, open your door and say 'Hi Bbates, nice camera.'

Or you could just go to H&8th or do a First Fridays art walk ( First Friday. The Paseo Arts District (http://www.thepaseo.com/calendar/firstfriday.html) )

All good suggestions, and I really don't have much to add.

Since you went to church, I am assuming that you are somewhat religious. It doesn't surprise me you had issues with the churches you went to. I would suggest looking into some churches closer to the city center. I will plug my own, PeoplesChurch. It is very diverse and welcoming. As a 27 year old single male, I have NEVER felt ostracized because of my relationship status. I have also heard good things about FrontLine as well.

That brings me to my next point. I hate to bring this up, because I feel you can't discuss a baloney sandwich on here without it disintegrating into a city vs. suburbs shouting match. But in the long run, I think you need to relocate deeper into the city. Not necessarily even Midtown, Deep Deuce, etc. but everything that will help you meet others is going to be located either DT or very close to it. One thing I learned being a transplant from a larger city is that in OKC, outside of Norman, there are no suburban type areas that are going to attract a lot of young and/or single people (i.e. Addison in Dallas or Galleria area in Houston). I have posted on here in the past that I felt very isolated when I lived off of NWX, and have since moved to midtown.

All in all, don't give up on OKC just yet. Outside of being an OU alum, I am none of the stereotypical "okie" things. And yet I have found my niche here. It took me some time but eventually it happened. While I don't always care for some of the social or political aspects of life in OKC, people here really are quite nice and sociable. In the mean time, come out to Cocktails on the Skyline at OKCMOA Thursday or H&8th this Friday and just mingle around. I always strike up a conversation or 2 when I am at both places.

Very good points.

Wish you would have come to our gathering last week.

Lots of cool people were there and no all are super out-going.

I agree. Maybe we should do those more often just for kicks. I'd gladly meet up with you for coffee or something. My GF lives on the north side and I have absolutely no friends up there. lol. And yeah, H&8th is great (just getting seriously crowded).

I know you arent into sports, but what about the gym (and it will also help you with women)?

The problem you are running into is that its hard to pick up other dudes (as friends) in a non creepy way, so your going to need to get into some re-occurring activity where a natural conversations take place and where you see the same people over and over again. At all the gyms I've been in in I've found it hard to not to get to know anybody since the same people work out about the same time each day. You ask someone for a spot or ask for advice and over the span of a month or two you will find some new drinking buddies.

I'm married, but alot of the guys at the gym are single like yourself and probably looking for a new wingman to hit the town with.

Im going to get heck for this - but if you are looking for women, go to the club and hit on a fat chick. DO NOT DO ANYTHING WITH HER (or it will kill everything), over the next few weeks casually give her a text or call on the weekends and ask where they are at (since women always travel in packs). Meet up with her and just keep on talking to her as a friend, she is bound to have atleast a few decent friends. Easiest way to meet women is through other women.

Its the same thing as the attractive woman who has a group of guys who follow her around because they want to be her 'friend'. She uses them as tools to meet better men and keeps them as rainy day insurance.

Also...a random random random suggestion that probably should not be heeded:

Pick up a second, night-time service-industry job that you do like twice/three a week...make a little bit of extra money for as long as you can stand working there, and then just meet the different people and see if anyone has similar interests. Always a lot of young people, many who are completely useless, but always usually at least a couple of cool, balanced people.

But only do this if nothing anyone else has mentioned is working.


...Also...don't be afraid to start the conversation. The odds you get someone telling you to go away are next to none. Worse thing that usually happens is the conversation goes nowhere, and you just float to the next group of people. Being introverted, I can only usually make it through two to four groups of people before I'm done...but if something sticks, great!

When you go to bars, be open to talk to older patrons. They usually tend to be more open in getting multiple people involved in the conversation, and people our age who are also struggling to start conversation are more apt to feel like they can jump in the conversation without "butting-in".

A couple of us gym out and yeah, it is a reasonable way to meet people on a recurring basis.

Saints is the other place some us go. That's a real neighborhood Public House. McNellies can be ok although Saints is the s**t some nights without being too crowded.

The gym is a great place. Easiest way to start a conversation at the gym? Comment on someone's shirt. One of our best couple friends we met at the gym because he commented on my wife's shirt from when she worked at Travelocity.

The gym is a great place. Easiest way to start a conversation at the gym? Comment on someone's shirt. One of our best couple friends we met at the gym because he commented on my wife's shirt from when she worked at Travelocity.

For some reason, this made me chuckle. I can imagine a scenario wherein a woman is wearing a shirt at the gym with some type of print emblazoned across the chest and saying, "Nice shirt." This kind of game wouldn't work for everyone.

:)

Haha, yeah it could be read that way, I've just used it as a common ground conversation starter. Saw a guy wearing a Lucero shirt, and I love that band and we talked for a bit. Some people have commented when I wear Arizona State gear, either saying they've lived there or or have questions.

This is excellent advice.
If possible, move to an area south of I-44, east of May Avenue, west of Broadway Extension and north of Downtown. I live in the area, and it's crawling with young, professional people; some married, others not. I would go so far as to say, older, married, birds-out-of-the-nest folks such as myself are the exception, rather than the rule.

This is excellent advice.
If possible, move to an area south of I-44, east of May Avenue, west of Broadway Extension and north of Downtown. I live in the area, and it's crawling with young, professional people; some married, others not. I would go so far as to say, older, married, birds-out-of-the-nest folks such as myself are the exception, rather than the rule.

Urban Core is definitely where to be. bchris, if you can afford to rent in Crown Heights, that's definitely the direction I would go.

Skinny Slim's is an incredibly friendly local bar with a great, casual crowd. Just go any night and look for our Sid Burgess and he'll introduce you to everyone there. :) And I'm not kidding in the least.


Where do you live? If not downtown I'd highly recommend moving down there, getting involved in Urban Neighbors, etc. It's extremely friendly and everyone gets to know each other eventually.


Perhaps you could volunteer at the OKC Museum of Art or at least go to some of their socials. Same goes for many other museums and galleries.

I've had the same problem moving to OKC, and the very first place I went was Skinny Slim's. Great place, awesome staff, and cool people. I'm there now probably 4 nights a week, so just shoot me a PM and maybe we could meet up.

1) Move, as mentioned above, to a more social neighborhood
2) Get a dog and go to the dog park a few times a week
3) Join and get active in a professional organization related to your industry
4) Take a class in something that interests you. Francis Tuttle has a ton of that I want to take. Class Offerings (http://www.francistuttle.edu/classOfferings)

3) Join and get active in a professional organization related to your industry


This is a great suggestion. If you work in O&G then YPE would be a great option.

sorry, can't let this pass. . .a couple people mentioned getting a dog. If you already have a pet, then heading to the dog park is a great idea. But. . .getting a dog solely as an avenue to meet people is just wrong. . .and unfair to the dog. Please think twice about this!!

sorry, can't let this pass. . .a couple people mentioned getting a dog. If you already have a pet, then heading to the dog park is a great idea. But. . .getting a dog solely as an avenue to meet people is just wrong. . .and unfair to the dog. Please think twice about this!!

Because I'm sure the dog would much prefer being in a shelter awaiting death.

Because I'm sure the dog would much prefer being in a shelter awaiting death.

Getting a dog without knowing what you're getting into and then sending it back is just the same

Getting a dog without knowing what you're getting into and then sending it back is just the same

this. . . plus, catch 22, I don't remember there being a caveat that it be a shelter dog.

I guess I thought that the notion of researching and contemplating the responsibilities of getting a dog would be obvious, just as it would be obvious to put some thought into moving or becoming heavily involved in a professional organization...

I guess I thought that the notion of researching and contemplating the responsibilities of getting a dog would be obvious, just as it would be obvious to put some thought into moving or becoming heavily involved in a professional organization...

well. . .yes!!! one would think. . . .on both fronts!!

I guess I thought that the notion of researching and contemplating the responsibilities of getting a dog would be obvious, just as it would be obvious to put some thought into moving or becoming heavily involved in a professional organization...

Whew! Thought it was just me.

My wife and & I have made great friends in our respective fitness groups, and they "cross-pollinate" very well when we socialize. I'm a cyclist and she's a runner. We've found that cyclists & runners are happy people, outgoing, involved in their community, optimists, and always looking for something new and interesting to do. Last night I rode with a small group out of the Paseo for 28 miles, and we had dinner afterwards at Paseo Grill (but we usually go to Sauced for $3.50 spaghetti). Over dinner we discussed the first Friday art walk in the Paseo, galleries, last week's OKCMOA exhibit opening, travel to Italy & the UK, downtown architecture, interesting things in our respective jobs, a relay race involving Spokies bikes, etc. During the ride we encountered one of my wife's colleagues on her bike.

There are a lot of good people on the roads.

Im going to get heck for this - but if you are looking for women, go to the club and hit on a fat chick. DO NOT DO ANYTHING WITH HER (or it will kill everything), over the next few weeks casually give her a text or call on the weekends and ask where they are at (since women always travel in packs). Meet up with her and just keep on talking to her as a friend, she is bound to have atleast a few decent friends. Easiest way to meet women is through other women.

That's horrible. Besides, some "fat" women are pretty, curvy, HOT, and personable and intelligent. Some "skinny" women are ugly, b**chy, boney and starving with issues, so thin they look like boys, dumb, or have no personality. It's terrible to hit on anyone you have no attraction to just to get their friends.

Getting a dog without knowing what you're getting into and then sending it back is just the same

True.

People are tempted to get puppies, realize they aren't for them, then send the grown dog back into the shelter. That gave them a few more months of life... and a broken heart after they were good dogs to you now you abandoned them back in the scary shelter.

Getting a dog is seriously a 10-15 year long commitment.

That long term of a commitment is longer than some marriages, and not the ideal thing for a young single bachelor not wanting to get tied down.

While Gallardia might be mostly family or old people, I know at least half a dozen young single bachelor's who live in that neighborhood.

You'd be surprised that it's not all old people out there. A few Thunder players live there, and I know a guy who's a 26 year old single childless dogless bachelor and lives there. Meeting there is a bit trickier. Have you tried playing golf? Jogging around the neighborhood and saying hi to younger people? Getting involved in the HOA or neighborhood crap?

And, yes, OKC does feel "young, married, with kids" for sure.

The average age to get married here and have kids is much, much younger than the West/East Coasts.

I suggest young professional groups and there's a few Meetups here I've been to that were really pleasant. I'm not sure what happened at your NC meetup, but some of the meetups here revolve around special interests -- books, dogs, wine/dinner, etc. There's no dating involved, and the Meetups I've been to are surprisingly friendly. It takes work to force yourself to be social at these things, but it's a start to "feel" like you have local friends. I will say that I don't think Meetups are the way to make close friends. You don't see the same people at each event-- people come and go, people don't always come, some people come once or twice then don't come for 6 months to an event.

Meetup lets you meet people, but I haven't found close friends out of that. Too large a group, too random of people coming or not coming to any event, etc.

I seriously suggest putting a Craigslist ad up not saying your gender or singledom and looking for a tennis partner, dog walker, something specific.

What kind of churches are you into? A know some single people in their late 20s who seem to like their churches and could ask for recommendations.

And, moving to make friends? Seriously? Gallardia is a nice neighborhood with a lot of perks. Who would move just to make friends? I wouldn't.

I live in the suburbs too. It's clean, classy, convenient, and quiet. No way, no how would I move to somewhere like the Paseo just for friends or "young people stuff." Some of that area is still sketch. The houses are old, and some need total renovation. Plus the traffic, noise, and part of those historic areas just look run down (or are run down). You should've seen those areas 10 years ago. They're much better now, but not "there." I wouldn't live there. I don't care for older, sometimes overpriced houses when I can get a nice new house that's larger or has more upgrades with neighborhood amenities in Edmond or Norman. If there's some event, bar, or "hip urban" restaurant I want to go to, yes, I'll have to drive away from my suburbs for it. But, for average daily life socializing, there's plenty to do in the suburbs-- it usually involves restaurants or shopping.

I would also try to expand your outlook on friends needing to be right at your age or being single, childless, etc. This is Oklahoma, after all. There's plenty of old people and married people. While I don't think it would be easy to be BFFs with a 70 year old or a parent of a 7 year old, meeting people of different ages can help a person have a wide perspective and hear interesting stories. I have friends my young age and 92 year old friends.

If you're into any kind of sports, I would suggest getting into a group for golf, frisbie, hiking, whatever it is. Sports clubs tend to have a lot of young people, and let's face it-- someone who's aged or has tons of kids/wife probably doesn't have much time to play frisbie.

So, what are your special interests?

Urban Core is definitely where to be. bchris, if you can afford to rent in Crown Heights, that's definitely the direction I would go.

I would NOT live in Crown Heights. Seriously, the OP lives in Gallardia-- nice, shiny new, beautiful custom homes with all of the modern amenities, new kitchens, new baths, golf course, etc.. Crown Heights is a huge downgrade in comparison. Some Crown Heights homes are nice, yes, but the nice ones are often overpriced for their square footage and age. Plus, many need big $$ in renovations, older homes have much more maintenance and repairs to do, it's not as quiet in CH and there's more traffic, CH homes are usually smaller than what you can get for the same money in the suburbs, etc. CH homes also are more likely to have detached garages. Detached garages are not fun... defeats the point of having a garage in the first place so you don't have to walk through rain/snow to your car. Historic homes tend to have fewer bathrooms, smaller closets, etc. Plus, they tend to have master bedrooms upstairs with no private master bathroom-- who wants that? And who wants to share a small bathroom with their kids? Most people around here want the master bedroom downstairs plus a few kid's/guest bedrooms upstairs, as well as a huge master bathroom with modern features like double vanity sinks, rainfall showers, jacuzzi tubs, etc.

Long term, if the OP ever has kids, no way would he want them to attend the public schools near CH. He would have to spring for private schools, or move out of Crown Heights.

Old homes just aren't everyone's taste. Some people see the charm in 50 or 100 year old kitchens and bathrooms and floors, houses close together, etc. I like 'em younger and new. New houses you can build exactly what you want and not have to deal with repairs all of the time like with old houses. And, yes, I've lived in old houses before. Nightmare.

New suburban homes aren't everyone's taste either, granted, but the suburbs offer shiny, new, quiet, clean, and nice amenities. Large master bedrooms, large master bathrooms, custom kitchens, and all of the things people like now with less maintenance.

Personally, if I wanted new, I'd build a house in SoSA. Close to all the action, great restaurants, etc. If I wanted older and charming, Edgemere or Crown Heights are very nice. For rentals, tons of young people in Deep Deuce and Midtown.

I would NOT live in Crown Heights. Seriously, the OP lives in Gallardia-- nice, shiny new, beautiful custom homes with all of the modern amenities, new kitchens, new baths, golf course, etc.. Crown Heights is a huge downgrade in comparison.

I'm not sure how old bchris is, but my roommate and I are 23 and we're renting a duplex in Crown Heights and absolutely love living steps from Western. Golf course, schools, large master bedrooms, etc are huge amenities in Gaillardia. But if I don't have kids, a family, and I don't need all that room, it's pretty fun living across the street from the sip and the Drum Room. If anything, we would prefer to go with less space and get a midtown/DD apartment but the rents are just too high right now. My parents built a brand new house in the westmoore area, and I definitely see the value in new construction/suburbs if you're into that, especially for raising a family, etc. But that's not where I'd want to be if I was young. I don't need the space, and all the fun's happening in the inner city!

Back to the original question, have you done Red Coyote's Pack Pint Runs? Free 5K's every thursday and free beer afterwards! Also I'm about to head to h&8th with some friends, tons of people to meet!

I would NOT live in Crown Heights. Seriously, the OP lives in Gallardia-- nice, shiny new, beautiful custom homes with all of the modern amenities, new kitchens, new baths, golf course, etc.. Crown Heights is a huge downgrade in comparison. Some Crown Heights homes are nice, yes, but the nice ones are often overpriced for their square footage and age. Plus, many need big $$ in renovations, older homes have much more maintenance and repairs to do, it's not as quiet in CH and there's more traffic, CH homes are usually smaller than what you can get for the same money in the suburbs, etc. CH homes also are more likely to have detached garages. Detached garages are not fun... defeats the point of having a garage in the first place so you don't have to walk through rain/snow to your car. Historic homes tend to have fewer bathrooms, smaller closets, etc. Plus, they tend to have master bedrooms upstairs with no private master bathroom-- who wants that? And who wants to share a small bathroom with their kids? Most people around here want the master bedroom downstairs plus a few kid's/guest bedrooms upstairs, as well as a huge master bathroom with modern features like double vanity sinks, rainfall showers, jacuzzi tubs, etc.

Long term, if the OP ever has kids, no way would he want them to attend the public schools near CH. He would have to spring for private schools, or move out of Crown Heights.

Old homes just aren't everyone's taste. Some people see the charm in 50 or 100 year old kitchens and bathrooms and floors, houses close together, etc. I like 'em younger and new. New houses you can build exactly what you want and not have to deal with repairs all of the time like with old houses. And, yes, I've lived in old houses before. Nightmare.

New suburban homes aren't everyone's taste either, granted, but the suburbs offer shiny, new, quiet, clean, and nice amenities. Large master bedrooms, large master bathrooms, custom kitchens, and all of the things people like now with less maintenance.

Renovating in Crown Heights could lead to places like Lowes, Habitat for Humanity, where people with similar interests or situations gather. Garage apartment? Find a tenant you like, who has decent friends.

Personally, if I wanted new, I'd build a house in SoSA. Close to all the action, great restaurants, etc. If I wanted older and charming, Edgemere or Crown Heights are very nice. For rentals, tons of young people in Deep Deuce and Midtown.

Yep. This might be my semi-retirement plan. :)

LOL @ oki.

Hilarious.

The OP lives in an apartment by Gaillardia, not the actual neighborhood. Those are some alright apartments but I doubt they have the baller status interiors that oki outlines.

I don't want to bash suburbs, but I have been in the OP's shoes. Living in the suburbs as a young, single person and especially as a transplant is an incredibly isolating experience. My year living off of NW Expressway was the most mind numbing things I've ever gone through, despite having a very nice apartment. Living in midtown I can honestly say I am never bored. Who cares if you have nice appliances and lots of space for your nonexistent kids if you are miserable and lonely. I mean Kevin freakin Durant and all his millions moved out of Gallardia into Deep Deuce... that alone should tell you something.

I said it before earlier, OKC does not have pockets of nightlife in the suburbs for younger and/or single people like larger cities do (i.e. Addison in Dallas), unless dancing with the cougars at Groovys or or fist pumping at Fox and Hound is your thing. And its okay if it is, its just that there is so much more deeper in the city. You pay for better access to both work and fun living in the city. To a lot of people, that's worth it.

The OP lives in an apartment by Gaillardia, not the actual neighborhood. Those are some alright apartments but I doubt they have the baller status interiors that oki outlines.



I don't think anybody likes NW Expressway, or apartments in general. :D

The OP has an apartment? That sucks. I thought he was a balla' in Gaillardia.

If he's just renting some apartment somewhere, then he should have easy access to young people right now-- young single people often live in apartments. Apartment complexes have gyms, pools, movie theaters, and other crap to socialize in. Young people are often poor(er) or don't want long-term commitments (home ownership) and congregate to apartments. Try grabbing a beer and knocking on a neighbors door in your apartment.

If the OP owned a Gaillardia swanky bachelor pad, he could have some nice parties out there in a house and all of the amenities. What apartment complexes are even out by Gaillardia? Sucks he can't play golf out there or enjoy those amenities.

Since he doesn't own a house and apartments suck in general, there's no long-term real estate property value to worry about, maintenance costs associated with old historic homes, school districts, or all of those headaches. In that case, he could bounce around and try out different apartments without dropping a few hundred thousand or more and hoping some neighborhood stays "hip and chic" for urban young adults later on. In that case, he could try the apartments by Hefner, Quail, or something to get easier access to "hip" places while maintaining the nice comforts of the suburbs. If you don't own where you live, you can move whenever you want relatively easily... and move again if you don't like it with minimal financial consequences. That changes everything for him.

If the OP just moved here from some other city, I could see how that could be isolating regardless of his neighborhood. Especially since a lot of people here grew up here. OP, have you tried going to lunch with co-workers or getting to know people over drinks after work? How about Habitat for Humanity or some charity? OKC Young Professionals?

I've lived in huge mega cities and small cities before I moved here. I'm suburban. I'm young. I've lived in urban high-rise apartments and suburban houses. I still would prefer nicer interiors to old run down outdated "historic" homes that are a few feet from each other. I get how this city sometimes isn't the easiest to meet single, childless people. Meetups, Young Professionals, work, church, charity groups, or sports groups are just about the best way. Or post a Craigslist platonic ad about something you're into (basketweaving, beer, whatever) and seek out a friend that way.

I guess I've become an Okie enjoying my nice new affordable homes with tons of closet space, yards, garages, nice clean huge Target stores, shopping malls, easy free parking, relatively less traffic, and huge rooms. Those things (ok, and the relative slow pace and friendliness) are the entire reason I find OKC attractive and appealing. If I wanted to live in an overpriced tiny urban loft and have to walk everywhere, fight traffic all of the time and spend hours to find parking, deal with break-ins and crime, have noise from bars and nightclubs nearby, have no yard or green space to enjoy, and hear my condo/apartment neighbors and deal with all of that crap, I'd move back to NYC. Or Tokyo. Or somewhere to get the "real" urban living benefits if I had to deal with all those headaches of overpriced, noisy, trafficy, tiny, hassle-riddled urban living in tiny apartments or aged outdated overpriced townhouses.

Yes, I have to "drive" to bars or nightclubs away from my suburbs. That's how I roll, anyway. I wouldn't want bars, nightclubs, etc. near my house-- noise, drunks, non-sense. I prefer work, shops, restaurants, and normal nice daily life stuff to be convenient to me. I don't want to have to fight traffic or see bars or deal with urban lifestyle issues daily. I can have my fun on the weekends if I want to branch out, and enjoy my nice quiet modern kitchen with appliances and tons of closet space too.

If you want to really party it up downtown and drink all night, yes, you're stuck taking a cab from the suburbs-- unless you have someone driving you there. That would be a perk about living near a bar downtown-- you could drink then walk home. Nice.

Sometimes it would be nice to live next door or in the high-rise above a restaurant, movie store, grocery store, etc. again. But, really, all of those things are less than a 5 minute drive from me anyway. I prefer my nice single family home where I don't have to listen to all that noise, deal with the crowds, traffic, and other crap that high-rise living or crowded "hip" neighborhoods mean.

I can see how the suburbs can feel all "mommy and me" and be awkward as a single bachelor. But there are more single people in the suburbs than one might think... you just have to find them. Oklahoma overall marries very young and has kids young compared to the rest of the country. That's noticeable whether you live downtown or in the suburbs. There are still some of us holding out though.

The average age for women to get married in Oklahoma is 24. For men it's 26. Yes, that's an Oklahoma (and similar states) thing.
Compare that to age 30 and age 34, respectively, in New York. Yes, I notice it feeling like "everyone" in Oklahoma is married.

You can be just as isolated in an urban loft apartment in a downtown Manhatten high-rise as you can be in a suburban house if you don't get out there and keep trying to meet people the right way. Seriously, I've lived in both. The urban neighborhood itself doesn't magically bring you friends-- you have to go outside and do crap. Preferably fun crap. I'll grant that about the suburbs tending to have either old people or people with kids. But, there's still some young people in most neighborhoods... even in actual Gaillardia. When you come across people who don't fit your niche (married with kids), try again with others. In neighborhoods, your best bet is either to knock on neighbors doors and invite them to a BBQ or go introduce yourself. Yes, plenty of them will have kids. Maybe that's not the worst thing ever. If you're in an apartment complex, even better. Apartment neighbors are more likely to be younger and childless than people who own homes here. Have a BBQ on your balcony or invite them over for drinks. The first party will be awkward with few people showing up. You might even be sitting there alone the first few times. Special interest groups, charities, and the like are really the way to go to meet people. Meeting people in a bar doesn't generally make for long-lasting, meaningful relationships anyway. Three words: special interest groups. Or, bring your neighbor a beer. (Make sure your neighbor isn't a 100 year old woman first. Unless she's into beer...)

If the OP has an apartment, there must be plenty of other young people there. Seriously, knock on a door some evening and bring your neighbor a beer. Or houseplant. Or linger in the hallway and say hi to passerbys. If the apartments out there aren't ghetto, you could even live your door open during the 5 p.m. "rush hour" when everyone is heading home and act like you're doing something by he door (cleaning out an entry closet?) and say hi to neighbors as they walk by.

No wonder it feels like "everyone" here is married:

Average marriage ages:

Oklahoma:
24-26

New York:
30-34

Oregon:
26-28

Rhode Island:
28

No wonder it feels like "everyone" here is married:

Average marriage ages:

Oklahoma:
24-26

New York:
30-34

Oregon:
26-28

Rhode Island:
28

Where did you get those numbers? I googled it out of curiousity and the ones I found were lower for New York. But essentially OK was about 1-3 years younger than the rest of the country not counting DC. Yeah OK was one of the 5 youngest, but all the states are pretty grouped up. I think it's just something that people think about and bring up when they talk about OK and now everyone accepts it as fact. I mean heck TX was only about a year older on average and nobody ever talks about everyone in Dallas and Houston being married. The way I see it, all the girls in OK are just so attractive that all the guys feel like they have to snatch them up before they lose their chance ;) Just my 2 cents though.

Live Science (http://www.livescience.com/27974-women-media-age-marriage-states.html)

Back to the original question, have you done Red Coyote's Pack Pint Runs? Free 5K's every thursday and free beer afterwards!

Can you tell me more about this? I looked on Red Coyote's website and saw a graphic for this, but no details about when/where. Does everyone just meet at the store at a certain time and take off from there? Is there a good mix of running abilities? I run 3-5 miles every day but have never been very serious about my time...I go as fast as my dog feels like going that day.