View Full Version : Personals websites



mranderson
07-11-2005, 03:28 PM
Do you have an ad on any personals websites? How well are they working? Are you a paid member?

Spookytourchick
07-11-2005, 05:00 PM
I am listed on Hot or Not and its just crazy... just more passive Men who cant step away from thier computer long enough to make a phone call, much less step outside for a date.

Leon
07-11-2005, 08:13 PM
Considering Yahoo.....Maybe this fall.

Spookytourchick
07-11-2005, 08:32 PM
Let me know how it goes. Im rather turned off on the internet scene. Too many married men that lie.

Curt
07-11-2005, 09:38 PM
Here is what I have experienced with the singles websites, I have tried yahoo, american singles, and a few others and on all of them here is what I found. Sure most are free to sign up, but then there is a charge to contact anyone, then there is a charge to contact a gold or silver member, then there is a charge for them to contact you. Another thing to look for is the ads made up by the site itself, enticing you to keep looking by putting in an ad that is just to good to be true, like "Hi, my name is ---------- and I just moved here from --------- and I am going to college and looking for an activity partner", or something to that effect. They do this just to keep your interest and keep you paying. Another thing is for instance, seeing a profile on page 6 for example, then finding that same profile on page 29, they do this to "pad" the number of profiles, like 1000, when it may only be 100. You will see some of the same people on different sites, as many times as I have mailed women on these sites, I never got any replies, but actually still see them on the site a year later. Dont fall for them, it's a scam, save your money to meet someone right around the corner and take them out to dinner.

angelice
07-12-2005, 07:42 AM
I have mixed feelings about the personals websites. I tried match a few years ago and meet someone and we dated for two years. He was in the military and ended up moving. I have been single again now for almost two years and I have my profile up on several places. Since then it all seems the same. Same men, same lines... I am also listed on hotornot, which I just think is fun, not really to meet anyone, certainly not my soulmate. Though I have meet a few guys on there and we have became friends. It truly is hard to meet people these days. As some of you know, I am the event coordinator for speed dating (pre-dating) here in OKC. Pre-dating is owned by cupid.com which is another personals site, so I do have my profile on that. It is not nearly as good as some of the other sites, I guess it just depends on how well the sites are known, as to how good the results are going to be.

angie

Spookytourchick
07-12-2005, 07:52 AM
How effective is Speed Dating? I have not tried that. And I cant afford to find my soulmate lol

mranderson
07-12-2005, 08:04 AM
I am on Match.com and Yahoo personals. Yahoo has gotten me several dates and one close friend, maybe two. Match is too new to evaluate for me.

angelice
07-12-2005, 08:30 AM
Well we guarntee that some will like you, if not you get the next event free. I have already had a few people get married and another couple getting married this year. It truly just depends on what you are looking for. Our events are for single professionals and we always hold them in crabtown, in Bricktown. We try and keep it fun and nice. I have returning customers because they enjoy meeting people and make really good friends from the events. You never know you might meet someone and they might have a friend that would be perfect for you. Your expanding your social group. If you are interested in attending an event, I have set up a promo code for okctalk.com and it will get you in the event for $22.00. Just let me know!

sweetdaisy
07-13-2005, 03:12 PM
Great thread...I have to comment on this one.

I've tried:

Match.com
eharmony.com
Yahoo Personals
8-minute dating
pre-dating

I'm still single...

I will say that I've enjoyed match.com quite a bit and really like 8-minute dating (did that when I lived up north). I've been to a couple of pre-dating events here in OKC, but was not terribly impressed with many of the jokers who were there. Seems the event coordinator for the ones I went to just rounded up a bunch of her friends to sit in and fill up open spots. No offense, angelice.

I tend to be highly entertained at the speed dating events, though. To me, it's a great opportunity to go out and have drinks & appetizers with a somewhat captive audience where you're guaranteed to talk to several people of the opposite sex! No watering hole can compete with that! :)

mranderson
07-13-2005, 03:31 PM
I am not fimiliar with eight minute dating. Is that a national site? E-Harmony costs a fortune, so I passed on it.

I paid for Yahoo and Match, but I am listed on a lot of other sites too. Some I can reply, most I would need to pay.

Spookytourchick
07-13-2005, 03:32 PM
Right now Im working on being the best hermit that I can possibly be! :k-bunny:

sweetdaisy
07-13-2005, 03:38 PM
I believe 8-minute dating was one of the original speed dating events offered. It was popular up north, but haven't seen much for it here in OKC. I prefer it to some of the other speed dating events b/c it is 8 minutes as opposed to 3 or 5 minutes. You have more opportunity to get to know someone in that longer time frame. Though, 8 minutes can be a REALLY long time if the person sitting across from you is icky.

travich
07-13-2005, 06:58 PM
angelice, I'd be terrified to speed date. Oh my God, I wouldn't be rejected by 1 woman, but like... 20!! What self esteem killer. LOL

You guys talk about too many married men on the internet, take it from a single (or divorced) guys' perspective, there are too many women with kids out there!! Either way, the internet is probably better than a bar to meet people. If I went to church though, that's where I'd look... I hear those church women can be freaks!! (Just kidding)

angelice
07-13-2005, 07:24 PM
No offense taken. When did you attend the events in OKC. I have only been the coordinator since October. I can say that I have only had to round up a few friends once, and I only had to round up 2 of them, so all the other men are legit. I have had a lot of sucess with couples from my events. It works for some people and not for others. Just really depends on what you are looking for and if they happen to be at the events. But it is also a time to get out and meet new people.

Karried
07-13-2005, 07:39 PM
Spookytourchick, where are you on the photo gallery? I couldn't find your pic anywhere...

Leon
07-13-2005, 08:16 PM
I was considering the predating/speed dating thing, but I think not now. Just the idea that even one of the attendees would be a 'plant' makes the whole idea reek of a scam. To think that people are paying money to meet people who are actually there only as a favor to the coordinator, that's sad. It's just plain mean to prey on people like that.

Spookytourchick
07-13-2005, 08:24 PM
Well, you might as well get used to the women with kids thing, its not going to get any better the older you get. IF a woman has kids does not mean the kids need a "daddy", just someone to accept them.

But if you dont like kids, then there is nothing that you can do about it. lol

Good luck! And I too dont know if I could do the speed dating, sometimes first impressions are the most confusing ones.

Leon
07-13-2005, 08:30 PM
Now, if I was to do speed-dating, one of my first questions would be, "Do you know the coordinator outside this setting?"...or..."Do you know anyone here?" Actually it just moved a little lower on my list of things to do.

Karried
07-13-2005, 08:42 PM
Can you imagine if men could get pregnant? It seems sad to penalize women who have kids to a life of being alone when the man gets off scott free. I mean it does take two to procreate..... and most men are the persistent instigators of sexual relations, it's all fun and games, until the responsibility of kids hit and off they run - like dogs. The women step up to the plate, take care of their kids and still get penalized 'for having kids' by single men. Kids can be a lot of fun and you don't have to father them, just treat their mom with respect and see where it goes.

( not all men do this, just some - and dogs they are) I think they should be sterilized. Nothing irks me more than men who impregnate woman, and then leave them penniless and the kids fatherless and go on to do it again to another woman.

Karried
07-13-2005, 08:47 PM
Leon, if she's cute and single, that won't be the first question you ask .......

... just because she was invited by the coordinator doesn't mean she's not single and won't be smitten by your charm -

I don't think they would 'plant' married unavailable' people - or would they?

Now you have me thinking about it! Clarification please... inquiring minds want to know...

sweetdaisy
07-13-2005, 09:10 PM
Usually, when coordinators ask their friends to join in the "fun", their friends are single and looking and want to be there. Unfortuately, the couple times I've experienced it here, the friends weren't really very interested in participating.

Don't assume all speed dating events would be bummers just because I've had a couple of experiences that weren't impressive. I was more disappointed with the potential matches than I was with the coordinator's friends.

BricktownGuy
07-13-2005, 09:28 PM
I have to agree with Karried on this. its not going to get any better the older you get, its basically part of the territory. Learn to accept it. :)

Leon
07-13-2005, 09:59 PM
Karried, I' for one have no problems with a woman having children, at my age I'd expect it. I wonder if it may be her issue to a point. If you wanna have a date at Chucky Cheese, fine with me....ya just have to go somewhere where the kids have something to do. Now, every date a Chucky Cheese, no. What would be the problem with taking the kids to a ball game or races. I guess it depends on the kids' behavior more than that they're there. Clearly if the child throws public fits, kicking and screaming demanding a candy bar, the guy wont be back. Pick a place wher the kids can be entertained, yet you and him can talk and believe me minor interruptions will be part of it. The guy wants to get to know you, will the kids allow that? I've heard plenty off guys say, 'she's got two great kids'. I'm personally old enough that to date only women without kids means cutting my opportunities by 90%.

First questions speed dating. Ya got any tatoos, oddball piercings, know the coordinator?....Notice, nothing there about kids. I have a boy too. If a woman wont accept him, I wouldn't go any further with her.

angelice
07-14-2005, 06:48 AM
The people are not "plants" they are single and they do pay to attend. The one time I needed two friends to help attend I had 12 women and only 10 men. So instead of having to cancel the event or having two women sitting alone, I called two single friends to see if they would be interested in attending. And one of the friends meet someone and is still dating them and that was over 5 months ago. There is nothing "rigged" or a "scam".

angelice
07-14-2005, 06:50 AM
Leon, I am sorry you feel this is a scam. But it is very far from that. I can not say anymore than I already have about why I had 2 single friends help out.

angelice
07-14-2005, 06:53 AM
Thanks Karried, you are very right I would never "plant" someone. I have canceled a few events because I did not have enough people to attend. If I wanted to just get money I would hold all the events and not care if people actually meet someone.

sweetdaisy
07-14-2005, 07:32 AM
Angelice, I'm sorry if this has become a little bit of a slam on your events. Like I said in my last post, previously when I'd experienced people being friends of the coordinator, those individuals were interested in being there. I don't know what the deal was with the couple events I've attended here. BTW, good for you for canceling events if you didn't have enough people! I'm sure you hated to do it, but you did the right thing. :)

I've always had a good time going to the speed dating events, but if you're not a very outgoing person who can talk to complete strangers, I would not recommend it.

Spookytourchick
07-14-2005, 07:48 AM
Why dont dating services offer some type of "mixers"? Where you can get a lot of singles in one area to mix and mingle?

Im a very busy person, but I have more time than 8 min to talk to people, I will make time. If you cant spare a little time in your life for that potential special someone, then I personally think your not at a position to be dating. I just dont believe in the first impression thing, yeah, im scorned, most of my "great 1st impressions" were not what I thought them to be.

angelice
07-14-2005, 10:21 AM
It's not a problem sweetdaisy. Of course friends of mine are going to attend some of my events. They are single and just like the rest of us are having trouble meeting other singles. I stand by pre-dating and enjoy holding the events. Your right I do not like cancelling my events, when I do not hold events I do not get paid. But if I hold events and people did not enjoy them, the likely hood of them going and telling their friends about it is slim. And since pre-dating is 90% word of mouth, I try my best to hold very good events.
Spookytourchick stated " but I have more time than 8 min to talk to people, I will make time", which is very true, but the one thing about speed dating is your a getting to talk to 8 to 15 different men, with the possiblity of matching with a few and getting more dates that last longer than 8 minutes. We do need some kind of mixers around here for single people of all ages. I know that pre-dating does lock and key parties which sound like fun. I have never hosted one, but I could check into it and see what all is involved. I know the basics of it, men get keys and women get lockets. Basically you are trying to find who has the matching set. You are forced to mingle with almost everyone there. After you find the set that matches you get another and start the process again.

Spookytourchick
07-14-2005, 10:34 AM
That sounds fun!

Karried
07-14-2005, 04:21 PM
Angelice, I think it is a great service you are offering. It must be very scary and a little daunting to go out and talk with strangers, but at least there, you know everyone is single and you just might meet someone that you want to get to know and can spend more time with. (Angelice, I PM'd (emailed) you regarding your photo).

Spookytourchick, what name did you post your photo under in the Photo gallery?

Leon
07-14-2005, 05:21 PM
Angelice, I sincerely apologize if I discredited you. I was planning hard to attend one, but it came as a complete shock to learn that was a possibilty. I'm sorry.

angelice
07-15-2005, 09:10 AM
Its okay, just be assured that the events are not rigged and I can assure you that the events for 36 to 49 I never have to get women for. Those events are very popular for that age group.

Jay
07-15-2005, 02:05 PM
I think single people in general expect too much when they are searching for that special someone.

I think the way people should approach a first date, blind date, personals or speed dating is like this. You should just have the frame of mind of "I'm just going to meet a new friend."

Then during the date you can ask the question " Do I like this person enough to keep spending time with them?"

The very most someone should expect from a first encounter is a pleasant night out.

My expectations are basically:

I am attracted to them?

Does this person appear to be someone I can trust?

Are they showing a genuine interest in me?

Are they having a good time?

Do they have a support system in place? (financially, emotionaly and socially)

The rest will fall into place if a relationship is established. I do not like to place unreasonable expectations on anyone especially when dating.

I have no issue with a woman that has kids. I am 30 and I live in Oklahoma. At least 70% of the single women my age or close to are divorced with kids or have had kids out of wedlock.

My issue I have found is the women who have kids and do not want anymore.

How does any woman with kids expect a man with no kids to not want to have any of his own. I don't expect for a woman to have five more by me. I would just like to have one or two of my own. Especially when I am the last male in my family to pass on the family name.

mranderson
07-15-2005, 02:09 PM
If someone wants that type of expectaion, fine. However, if either one decides not to pursue it, then tell them honestly why. And do not just say "I don't feel the chemestry," or "I'm just not attracted to you." Give them the reason. It may just help them in the future.

sweetdaisy
07-15-2005, 03:09 PM
mranderson, sometimes not having chemistry or attraction IS the reason not to pursue the relationship. I'm not going to make up something...if I'm not attracted, then I say so. That's reason enough.

sweetdaisy
07-15-2005, 03:12 PM
"My issue I have found is the women who have kids and do not want anymore.

How does any woman with kids expect a man with no kids to not want to have any of his own. I don't expect for a woman to have five more by me. I would just like to have one or two of my own. Especially when I am the last male in my family to pass on the family name."

Women experience the same thing, btw. I'm 32 with no kids, but I really want at least one. It's very tough to find men my age who want to have children, especially since they already have teenagers. Never mind the fact that people think there's something "wrong" with me since I don't have kids yet. :(

mranderson
07-15-2005, 03:12 PM
mranderson, sometimes not having chemistry or attraction IS the reason not to pursue the relationship. I'm not going to make up something...if I'm not attracted, then I say so. That's reason enough.

I am sorry. I will never accept that. I do not understand this "chemistry" crap anyway. What IS that when it comes to relationships, anyway.

Curt
07-15-2005, 03:15 PM
Never mind the fact that people think there's something "wrong" with me since I don't have kids yet. :([/size]
Amen, women think there is a problem with me because I have never been married, nor do I have any kids. I have just not met the right woman yet, thats all.

sweetdaisy
07-15-2005, 03:19 PM
Amen, women think there is a problem with me because I have never been married, nor do I have any kids. I have just not met the right woman yet, thats all.

Is it possible that you just haven't had the right "chemistry" with someone yet? :LolLolLol

Curt
07-15-2005, 03:22 PM
Is it possible that you just haven't had the right "chemistry" with someone yet? :LolLolLol
Um...your in for it now woman. You now owe me dinner, LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leon
07-15-2005, 04:11 PM
Its okay, just be assured that the events are not rigged and I can assure you that the events for 36 to 49 I never have to get women for. Those events are very popular for that age group.

Good, 36 to 49........I'm dead center there.

Leon
07-15-2005, 04:15 PM
I think the way people should approach a first date, blind date, personals or speed dating is like this. You should just have the frame of mind of "I'm just going to meet a new friend."



Agreed 100%. Very difficult with the opposite sex though, especially when you're hoping for more than a 'friend'.

Karried
07-15-2005, 06:10 PM
Mariner, you should be happy that you haven't been married or had kids with the 'wrong' woman.. sheesh, that's a good thing!

And I agree, chemistry has to be there but I guess it is how you define chemistry.... I have met some of the most attractive men who are boring as all hell, and some 'average' men who really peak my interest.. but then again even finding someone attractive is objective - what is beautiful to one person may not be to someone else.

I agree with Okla75 100% - Once you go into anything with higher than normal expectations it can only backfire when what you hope to happen doesn't materialize. Just make the best of every situation and choose to have a good attitude.... sounds easy enough :-) I know it's not but you have to try anyway - life happens - you can only control your attitude towards what happens, not the events.

I've read almost all of your posts and you all seem extremely nice, caring and loving people on this board - there is no reason why someone out there will not be lucky to have you... no losers here, you are just preparing for the next phase of your lives more experienced and more ready to give and receive love...

Jay
07-16-2005, 03:14 AM
Agreed 100%. Very difficult with the opposite sex though, especially when you're hoping for more than a 'friend'.


Hoping for more a friend is the wrong thing to do when dating.

First of all you cannot make someone love you. The only thing you can do is be open to accept the love a person is willing to give. You have to let things happen naturally.

Do you think you could really trust a person that says I love you after only knowing you 10 seconds, 10 hours or even 10 days. If someone told me they loved me and wanted to be with me without getting to know me, I would think they had attachement issues or they were lying. You can't truly love someone without spending quality time with them and getting to know them. Quality time means you take things day by day, be paitent and let fate do the work.