View Full Version : Actual Classified Ads



Keith
08-31-2004, 01:44 PM
These ads prove that if you misspell or type a word wrong, it will change the whole meaning of a sentence. These are good.
;)


Strange Classified Ads - Real!


Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers .

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.

For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy.

Great Dames for sale.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it!

If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere and Chopin.

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

Save regularly in our bank. You'll never regret it.

Man, honest. Will take anything.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.

Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere else again.

Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food business, and be willing to get hands dirty.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

Mother's helper--peasant working conditions.

Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience

floater
08-31-2004, 07:42 PM
What paper are these from? Yeah, I'd like some help cleaning myself.

:D

Keith
09-01-2004, 07:39 AM
Hey, floater...check out www.strangecosmos.com. They have some real neat stuff on that sight.

floater
09-01-2004, 02:20 PM
Thanks, Keith. Those Olympic shots make me want to ditch everything and become a groupie on the beach volleyball circuit...or move to Brazil. :p I heard the Greeks really played this up at the Games, remaking the BV competitions into a party scene, with Brazilian dancers and the blaring rock music between breaks. I've never been a fan of California as a whole, but man, whatascene!