I lost my sister a month ago who was the main caregiver for a our mother (89). Mama has since started having hallucinations, delusions and a lot of confusion. She will be transferred to an inpatient psych facility for several days to try and regulate her on anti-psychotic meds. From there I have a feeling it will be 24/7 care at home or a full time care facility. Obviously we are heartbroken. What I was hoping for was any ideas on what any of you would consider as a highly-rated facility.

Also wondering if anyone knew if mama could qualify for in home care that would be covered at least partially by Medicare. Wish we could keep her at home without wiping out her bank accounts prematurely.

Any insight would be appreciated. This is SO hard!!

Teri, I certainy feel for you in your situation. We went through something similar with my aunt who was in her 80's and developed dementia. Unfortunately she didn't survive long after her problems began but that doesn't mean that your mother won't. Even if you could be with her 24 hours a day she needs professional help and it's too difficult for a relative. I don't have any suggestions about medicare but contacting them would be worthwhile even if they only give you suggestions on what to do.

I don't have any information or advise for you but I wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss.

My understanding is that Medicare does not pay for long term (say over 6 months) worth of assisted living. Medicaid is utilized for long term assisted living and is limited and not accepted by many facilities. Also, it requires you to deplete your assets for the most part before they pay.

You might want to also pay attention to getting her estate in order for when she does eventually pass if you haven't already done so. Also, setting up a guardianship can be a very good idea. Make an appointment with an attorney.

Thank you, to each and everyone one of you who responded. Your insight has been a lot of help. I know I'm far from he only one who has had to live through this nightmare. Thank you for your words of encouragement. They mean so much.

So sorry for your loss. This can be overwhelming. I helped take care of my grandfather and my mother has lived with me for the last 10 years.

Medicare doesn't pay for "custodial care". It will sometimes cover medically necessary skilled nursing care facility or home health care. The Medicare sight does have a comparison tool for nursing homes and shows any citations.
Medicaid might be an option. At the time my grandfather needed care, he was only allowed to have $2000 in assets to qualify for Medicaid. He exhausted his assets paying for assisted living care which runs 3000 to 4000 a months depending on the level of care required. I don't think your Mother's condition would be appropriate for assisted living.
Home health care in OKC runs about 17.95 an hour through a service. The rate on weekends and evenings is higher. If you decide to go this route remove any items of value($ or sentimental), we had a bad experience.
If you decide on a nursing home, visit it on the weekends and evenings to get a feel for the staffing level which in my opinion is critical. Best of luck.