Arrrrrr . . . Because it's Talk Like a Pirate Day, Matey!!!! =)

(One of my favorite jokes--ever--is the third one on the list.)

http://www.piratejokes.net/jokes/top20?pg=1





Possible spoiler DO NOT READ:



Although I prefer the phrases "brown slacks" . . . "brown Dockers" . . . or "brown pantaloons" . . .

This room is less cheesy than that website.



http://www.allthingscheese.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/cheese_cellar.jpg

Cheese, Dude . . .
It was only a joke . . . =)

Or maybe, in honor of The Day, I should say . . .
"Avast Me Harvartis!" . . . ?
"Brie-lay that, Swabby" . . . ?
"Cheddar me timbers" . . . ?

(Arrrr) . . .

http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/dre1618l.jpg

Arrrrr . . .
Now thar' be the spirit o' the "holiday" . . . by thunder . . .

(Although I do feel uncontrollably obliged to register my objection and outrage--to and at--the use of that insulting, offensive and repugnant term for white southern males used in the above illustration.)

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird ****!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."

How long is a pirate's plank?
A YARRRd!!!

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they can spend years at C!

What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer?
Shiver me timbers!

What kind of grades did the pirate get in school?
HIGH SEAS!

Why is pirating addictive?
They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!

How do pirates know that they are pirates?
They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!

Why do young pirates always fail when saying the alphabet in kindergarten?
Because their fathers insist that there are seven Cs!!!!

A pirate and his parrot, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a valiant battle. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, the pirate stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a Genie came forth. This particular Genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving any thought to the matter the pirate blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into rum!" The Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest rum ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the Genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of rum on the hull broke the stillness as the two considered their circumstances. The parrot looked disgustedly at the pirate and after a tension-filled moment spoke: "Now yee've done it!! Now we're goon to have to pee in the boat!"

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels!

A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders some dirty rum.
The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"
"Arrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"

What does a pirate call a prostitute?
A hook aarrrrrrrr!

Arrrr. . . I be glad t' see that ye left Tale Number T'ree a-danglin' from the yardarm out thar' in cyberspace waitin' t' be plucked like the virtues o' the wenches in Havana Harbor . . . Or that harbor with that fort-lookin' place on that other island down there somewheres . . . The one Jimmy Buffett wrote about . . . While he was still a pirate and not a pilot.