View Full Version : Asking someone for a date



Jay
03-27-2005, 11:15 AM
Lyrics to Luther Vandross' Hit single "Take You Out"

Yeah, yeah
Here it is

She caught me by surprised I must say
Cause I never had seen such a pretty face
With such a warm and beautiful smile
It wasn't hard for me to notice her style
I was fascinated surely
She took my heart and held it for me
I wouldn't let her get away
Not until she heard me say

Excuse me miss
But what's your name?
Where are you from and can I come?
And possibly can I take you out tonight?
To a movie, to the park
I'll have you home before it's dark
So let me know, can I take you out tonight?

Don't care if I get rejected
At least then I won't regret it
Regret the fact I missed the chance for romance
At least I'll walk away knowing
I tried my best and I'm going
Cause at least she heard me say
I'm going on with my day
Cause at least she heard me say

Excuse me miss
But what's your name?
Where are you from and can I come?
And possibly can I take you out tonight?
To a movie, to the park
I'll have you home before it's dark
So let me know, can I take you out tonight?

Huh, that's why I had to come over
And introduce myself to you
Cause you never know where you're gonna find love
And hopefully I found it in you, yeah

Excuse me miss
But what's your name?
Where are you from and can I come?
And possibly can I take you out tonight?
To a movie, to the park
I'll have you home before it's dark
So let me know, can I take you out tonight?


I like the message this song sends. In a nutshell it says follow your heart, be brave and take a chance on dating. Sure the one you admire might say no; however, they might say yes. Dating is a numbers game. The more you try the better your chances are at finding someone.

Patrick posted a thread on the turnoffs of dating. So I decided, why not post the good and bad ways to ask someone out.

For some people its just a matter of getting over a shyness or preconcieved idea thier not the dating type.

Here is where you the reader come in to the picture. I would like for you post helpful hints, bad expierences or good expierences with someone asking or you asking someone out.

For all of you married and coupled up folks out there share your story of how you met your special someone. You never know you may have a lesson worth teaching in your story of how you met.


Now come on lets get the ball rolling.

mranderson
03-28-2005, 07:25 PM
The way I have been asking lately is via internet. I am not ashamed of the fact I respond to Yahoo ads, and meet some nice women that way.

I have replied to one ad that belongs to one of our veteran members, and one ad that is now a member. I brought her on board. We went to a movie and dinner and arranged it by im chat. Although it did not work out romantically, we have stayed in touch via okc talk as friends.

In fact, as I write this, I am arranging another. What do I say? Simple. "Why don't we meet for lunch." If it works out, I bet we will ask each other out. Technically, she brought up lunch. I have one more on the front burner and others in various stages. I also ask by email.

I feel more comfortable this way.

dirtrider73068
03-28-2005, 07:37 PM
Well I am courious myself about how to ask someone on a date. My thing is what if I don't have the money? How do I get over my shyness to ask? I have had one girl I have liked since last summer but never had the nerve to ask her out for a casual day or evening. Was my yard ladys neighbor she offered to cook us dinner for us so we could talk but I kept declining. If anybody has any inspiring ways of to over come shyness plus the fact my current status was I got burned by a cheater so its hard to get over that for the fear of rejection and being alone again.

Karried
03-28-2005, 09:26 PM
I think if you can take out the 'date' word and get together as friends first, it might take the pressure off. If you like to hang out with her and have fun, then that is a great starting place for a future relationship. If it doesn't work out, then you will at least have a friend.

It's been so long, I hardly remember - we met at a lake, he came up from under water, one look at those eyes, that was it. But, I had just gotten out of a relationship and was dating a few other guys casually and he was in the middle of a relationship/break up - we talked about it all day but I told him I wouldn't date anyone involved with someone else, I gave him my number anyway as a 'friend' and said call me when you break up - he called 10 times the next day...and that was it,
20 years later....

Patrick
03-28-2005, 09:38 PM
I agree with Karrie. Sometimes looking at it as a date from the beginning puts too much pressure on it. Just go out as friends. If you're interested in someone, simply ask them to go out to lunch. It doesn't have to be anything expensive...just something friends would go to. I believe the first place my fiancee and I ever went together was Johnnies! Nothing expensive about that. We actually had a lot of fun! The more casual you can start off, the more you'll learn about each other, because you won't be putting yourself on the spot to act like something you're not.

dirtrider73068
03-28-2005, 10:47 PM
Those were both good things but I can't even ask for a lucheon guess you could call it. I can't even say hi to another girl I freeze up adn can't bring myself to say anything. I am not out to myself something I am not if they don't like who I am or what I am they can keep on trucking. I have some defaults I am trying to get over and they would have to understand those, and accept them. Alot of it is anixty still adn alot of fear adn fear of anything and I mean anything. I am one that is better off being introduced to someone than me going up to her, and making the first move.

El Gato Pollo Loco!!!
03-28-2005, 10:54 PM
Wearing a cup is optional...

Karried
03-29-2005, 06:38 AM
dirtrider, most people have fear, read posts on who pays for the first date....

Here is something that I learned (and a lot of other people believe this as well)

People react to others based on how they feel about themselves while they are with you, they then attribute those positive feelings to you. And they associate good feelings with hanging out with you.

The best way to break the ice and relate to people is to
ask about the thing that most interests them. Them!

People love to talk about themselves, so ask questions, try to get them to open up, ask what they think, how do they feel about things, issues, other people, places - what are their opinions? ... maintain eye contact, be very interested, stay in the present, don't think about what you are going to say, focus on what they are saying.

Practice asking questions. open ended questions that they have to answer with something besides Yes or No .. "What was the best part of your day?"

.... it will be so much easier to talk to people if you don't feel like you have to impress them with how great you are, they really don't care anyway. Remember, it's all about them. (You'll get your turn later and if not, do what all of us do, post here and be heard!)

I was reminded again recently that people so love to talk about themselves, they will pay hundreds if not thousands of dollars just to talk about themselves! (Therapists, psychologists)


They will believe you are the best communicator and listener ever born. They will think you are the most giving, unselfish person because you let them talk about themselves and things that interest them.


Make some positive changes " If you keep doing what you are doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting"

Midtowner
03-29-2005, 07:24 AM
Karrie, do you listen to people for a living?

You sound like you do. :D

Good advice.

Karried
03-29-2005, 07:31 AM
What were you saying? I wasn't listening :tweeted:


Midtowner, what do you think of my avatar? I thought you might like it...

Midtowner
03-29-2005, 07:44 AM
What were you saying? I wasn't listening :tweeted:


Midtowner, what do you think of my avatar? I thought you might like it...

Horrible, horrible memories that I'd rather block out ;)

Playing the violin is great. Learning to play as a youngster is a horrendous test of patience. Learning new music still is.

I've decided if I ever have a child, they're going to learn piano, then harp, just because it nearly guarantees them a music scholarship AND if they can learn how to play "Canon in D", will never have to get a real job in HS and college -- they can just play weddings at $200 or so a pop.