View Full Version : Mystery Man Help



Firefly831
06-17-2010, 11:05 PM
I have a bit of a mystery on my hands and hope yall can maybe help. Here's the story:

A family friend was out at a restaurant the other night with a girlfriend when they were approached by a man. He spoke to both of them some and then asked our friend out.
Sounds simple enough but here's where it twist. Our friend is of course curious about this guy but he jokingly refuses to tell her his last name. He says he goes by J.R. for junior and says his first name is Marvin. He goes on to say that he will tell her his last name when they go out and when she hears it she will know why he didn't want to say.
He was very light and teasing about this so assuming he isn't like related to a serial killer I am guessing his comes from a prominent family of which we would recognize by name.
She asked me to do some snooping so here I am. LoL I'm hoping someone here might be able to shed some light on our mystery man!

soonerguru
06-17-2010, 11:20 PM
I have a bit of a mystery on my hands and hope yall can maybe help. Here's the story:

A family friend was out at a restaurant the other night with a girlfriend when they were approached by a man. He spoke to both of them some and then asked our friend out.
Sounds simple enough but here's where it twist. Our friend is of course curious about this guy but he jokingly refuses to tell her his last name. He says he goes by J.R. for junior and says his first name is Marvin. He goes on to say that he will tell her his last name when they go out and when she hears it she will know why he didn't want to say.
He was very light and teasing about this so assuming he isn't like related to a serial killer I am guessing his comes from a prominent family of which we would recognize by name.
She asked me to do some snooping so here I am. LoL I'm hoping someone here might be able to shed some light on our mystery man!

This is weird. Tell your friend to meet in a very public place.

Firefly831
06-17-2010, 11:24 PM
Definitely and he even suggested it saying he would meet her at a restaurant of her choice basically in bricktown or whatever. That's a reason why I'm not thinking its just some creep.

PennyQuilts
06-18-2010, 05:01 AM
Anyone that coy with a prominent name is too high maintenance. Run the other way. Seriously. Actions, not pedigree, are what makes a man. Real men wouldn't associate so heavily on a family name. Personally, it sounds juvenile, to me. He must think your friend is pretty easily impressed to feel the need to hide the name. Just my thoughts.

Kerry
06-18-2010, 05:27 AM
My guess is his last name is something like Buttlicker. It's hard to pick up a girl if your name is Marvin Buttlicker (but you can call me J.R.). He probably has a last name that is less than flattering and wants your friend to get to know him first. Right now your friend is intrigued by going out with Marvin (JR) Mysteryman. She would probably be somewhat less enthusiastic going out with Marvin (JR) Limpone.

We all know how women operate. The first thing girls do is see if their first name sounds good with the guy’s last name. The second thing they do is check if the wedding invitation cards are going to sound stupid when the last names are together.

PennyQuilts
06-18-2010, 05:55 AM
Oh Kerry.

Kerry
06-18-2010, 05:59 AM
Oh Kerry.

Are you saying I am wrong?

When does the date happen Firefly831? Will you post the last name once you know it?

okcpulse
06-18-2010, 06:04 AM
The guy is definitely a douchebag. Putting on a BS act to impress a woman is so 1980's. Leave him in that decade.

PennyQuilts
06-18-2010, 06:18 AM
We all know how women operate. The first thing girls do is see if their first name sounds good with the guy’s last name. The second thing they do is check if the wedding invitation cards are going to sound stupid when the last names are together.


Are you saying I am wrong?

Depends on the girl, I guess, Kerry. There is nothing sillier than a young girl but once they get that out of their system, most of them are more substantial than that. And is that a sexist remark? You betcha. And boys tend to be more active than girls, too... I could go on and on about the differences between the species, er, sexes.

old okie
06-18-2010, 06:49 AM
While it may be an innocent, although pretty corny, pick-up line, there is the real possibility that if he were to give her his last name, and she did her due diligence and researched him [Google, Facebook, pipl.com], she might find he could be married [or not "quite divorced" that was always an interesting one], not the age he claims to be [that one could go either way], has a criminal record, is a wanted man [she wouldn't want to be with him when the arrest is made!], or a myriad of other possibilities.

An honest person, regardless of how strange or 'well-connected' their last name, will tell a potential date the pertinent information. She should not go out with him without a couple of "wing-men" [and I do mean "men" here! Sexist? Maybe. Let's be real. Women are protective, but w/o being martial arts trained or armed, they can't physically stop a man! The wing-men can be there with their dates. Friends do things like that for friends!] standing by--incognito of course--when they meet in a VERY public place.

Just my thoughts on it.........and experience from "back in the day" when I was single!

Kerry
06-18-2010, 06:52 AM
Depends on the girl, I guess, Kerry. There is nothing sillier than a young girl but once they get that out of their system, most of them are more substantial than that.

Is there any chance the phrase PennyQuilts Buttlicker went thru your mind?:smile:

OKC Heel
06-18-2010, 09:20 AM
I've never told someone my full name when i asked them out for the first time.

FritterGirl
06-18-2010, 09:33 AM
My douchedar is climbing off the charts about this guy. It's one thing to just not reveal your last name, another altogether to make a big deal out of "why."

I'd tell her to run. Run away. Run far, far away from this guy. He doesn't sound like he's very genuine if he has to start hiding things from the very beginning.

Of course, it's also possible that he does have an easily recognizable last name that comes with certain connections and has been burned from that. Still, in the very least he comes off as arrogant, as I read from your second-hand account.

If he persists, and she does decide to go out with him, I agree on the "wingmen" plan. She needs to have a few plants in the restaurant or bar where they meet (he should NOT pick her up), and then she needs to shuffle off to the ladies room for a little texting session to ensure things are going okay.

Dang, things were so much simpler back in the day. How dating got so complicated I will never know.

OKCTalker
06-18-2010, 09:39 AM
Best case: Loser. Worst case: Serial killer. Run.

Any guesses what time the mods will move this thread? I'm guessing 11:35 a.m.

Midtowner
06-18-2010, 09:44 AM
She is even considering going out with this guy?

Maybe she deserves him?

Martin
06-18-2010, 09:53 AM
Any guesses what time the mods will move this thread? I'm guessing 11:35 a.m.

10:53. moved to underground. -M

metro
06-18-2010, 11:40 AM
Best case: Loser. Worst case: Serial killer. Run.

Any guesses what time the mods will move this thread? I'm guessing 11:35 a.m.


She is even considering going out with this guy?

Maybe she deserves him?

Well said. Juvenile loser. But if it intrigues her, maybe they deserve each other.

BBatesokc
06-18-2010, 02:28 PM
Yeah, all kinds of red flags are going up on this. I've never felt obligated to give a last name back when I was dating, but I certainly find it odd he has played up the fact he isn't willing to give his last name.

Hopefully she got his phone number and didn't give out hers. If so, she might be able to track down a full name. Better yet, a tag number can get you a name and address.

Either way, tell her to be very cautious.

Bunty
06-18-2010, 05:57 PM
We all know how women operate. The first thing girls do is see if their first name sounds good with the guy’s last name. The second thing they do is check if the wedding invitation cards are going to sound stupid when the last names are together.No, Kerry, actually the first thing a girl wants to do is to see if the guy is good looking, or a hunk. So I bet this mystery man was hot to this girl, otherwise she would have told this intruder to the table to go take a hike. I've had enough rejection from women and observed their behavior around guys to know what I'm talking about.

kevinpate
06-18-2010, 07:40 PM
I'm more inclined to go the odd last name route.
Turns it into his game.
Creates an aura of mystery rather than simply having a decision made on him on the merits on his first approach.
Come date night, if she gets odd about the odd name, well, he can pull a being hurt she's shallow like that, or perhaps she finds name insecurity charming. Either way, the date turns on the name, not on him making a great impression.
If there be another date, then to his game scenario she's either interested and capable of seeing past the name, or else she doesn't have anyone more interesting to kick back with. Either way, not a lot of work on his part.

Got game or mondo lame, he's apparently set a date with minimal effort on his part. That's more than a passle of single folk can say for their upcoming evenings.

PennyQuilts
06-18-2010, 08:29 PM
Is there any chance the phrase PennyQuilts Buttlicker went thru your mind?:smile:

Er... No. If we married up, the man would be taking MY last name! If he was intent on keeping that godawful moniker, any kids would be adopted out.

PennyQuilts
06-18-2010, 08:30 PM
I've never told someone my full name when i asked them out for the first time.

That's because you are a heel.

Lauri101
06-19-2010, 10:50 AM
(SNIP)
If he persists, and she does decide to go out with him, I agree on the "wingmen" plan. She needs to have a few plants in the restaurant or bar where they meet (he should NOT pick her up), and then she needs to shuffle off to the ladies room for a little texting session to ensure things are going okay.

Dang, things were so much simpler back in the day. How dating got so complicated I will never know.

I'd advise the run away action also, but if he's just too hot to pass up, go to Bricktown Brewery. Back in the day - when I placed an ad in the Gazette singles column (pre-Internet dating), I met all dates at the Brewery. We sat at front in bar and if the guy was a real loser or scary, I snuck out the back after excusing myself to go to ladies room. I had a bartender and a waitress (well-tipped) as winggirls and a busman to watch me to car.

My point - it was complicated back then also - and we didn't have cellphones with texting. Losers are still losers and this one sounds like he fits that category.

kevinpate
06-19-2010, 11:06 AM
Er... No. If we married up, the man would be taking MY last name! If he was intent on keeping that godawful moniker, any kids would be adopted out.

Way to lay down the law thar missy.
Say hey to Junior Quilts for us.
:tiphat:

old okie
06-19-2010, 01:06 PM
I'd advise the run away action also, but if he's just too hot to pass up, go to Bricktown Brewery. Back in the day - when I placed an ad in the Gazette singles column (pre-Internet dating), I met all dates at the Brewery. We sat at front in bar and if the guy was a real loser or scary, I snuck out the back after excusing myself to go to ladies room. I had a bartender and a waitress (well-tipped) as winggirls and a busman to watch me to car.

My point - it was complicated back then also - and we didn't have cellphones with texting. Losers are still losers and this one sounds like he fits that category.

Agree 100%! I used the Gazette singles column back in the day, and always met at a restaurant where I knew some of the waitstaff, who [as you say for a good tip] were willing to "cover" if I needed a quick escape. Worked great. Highly recommend if she just doesn't want to do the "run away" option.

Thunder
06-19-2010, 02:59 PM
Such a shame that you all are so overly paranoid and downright rude. Let me guess, everyone is jealous of not having such mystery fun? I see no harm in him withholding his last name.

Did she ask him directly for his last name? If so, then that is totally weird on her part. They have just met, so first name basis is fine. After the first date (or during), then they can properly introduce each other.

Honestly, I see no reason for the childish posters to say these awful things about the guy. If she asked him for his last name, maybe he thought at that moment that he really want to meet her for a date. I can see the fun in that, saying that he'll tell her on the first date. C'mon, we all had done some crazy things to get a date with that special person. Like I said, the guy most likely thought he would successfully interest her for a date with him by having some mystery fun.

Leave her alone. Don't be telling her to be runnin' and screamin' like roaches. She's old enough and definitely should accept the date.

Shame on these posters on here....

PennyQuilts
06-19-2010, 03:36 PM
Thunder, whether she asked outright or he offered, he declined to give her his last name when they met and made a deal of it with the pompous comment that she would recognize it. And as for learning it on the date, this isn't a blind date, Thunder, where friends can vouch for him and have set them up. They don't know this guy off the street. To be coy with his name like that because she'd allegedly recognize it is just lightweight, lame stuff. I don't know if he is dangerous but he is an embarassment.

Casey
06-19-2010, 04:03 PM
We all know how women operate. The first thing girls do is see if their first name sounds good with the guy’s last name. The second thing they do is check if the wedding invitation cards are going to sound stupid when the last names are together.

Oh yeah. I'm currently sitting here doodling my name with my future HB's last name, surrounded by little hearts.

kevinpate
06-19-2010, 04:05 PM
Oh yeah. I'm currently sitting here doodling my name with my future HB's last name, surrounded by little hearts.

and here we thought those were bracelets on your avatar's wrists. Now we known they are merely shiny marker boards

Casey
06-19-2010, 04:08 PM
What's your last name? I haven't met my future HB, but I'm screening purely on last name.

I think I'd like to be Mrs. Murphy.

Lauri101
06-19-2010, 07:06 PM
Thunder - I wish that the world was less complicated so we could be more trusting, but it's dangerous out there.

As PennyQuilts stated - there is no one to vouch for this guy and his attitude just screams "jerk".

I don't know many on this board who post their real names - including you. Anonymity can be fine on a forum, but no way would I date someone without a last name and an escape plan. Not being a spoilsport - just common sense.

PennyQuilts
06-19-2010, 08:34 PM
His last name is probably Van der Sloot.

Thunder
06-19-2010, 10:20 PM
............. I go to work .............. Coworkers and customers know my first name, but not last .............. Want to start talkin' crap about me, too? Hmm????? You guys are making such a big deal over something harmless!

IT IS SO OBVIOUS that this guy is so into having a date with this girl and at the spur of the moment it just came out that she just may go on a date with him just to know his last name. Seriously, there is a potential that they could be celebrating their 50th marriage anniversary down the road!

A lot of you guys probably done something silly to get that date long ago and this is no different. I hope she go on that date and give the guy a chance.

PennyQuilts
06-20-2010, 06:10 AM
............. I go to work .............. Coworkers and customers know my first name, but not last .............. Want to start talkin' crap about me, too? Hmm????? You guys are making such a big deal over something harmless!

IT IS SO OBVIOUS that this guy is so into having a date with this girl and at the spur of the moment it just came out that she just may go on a date with him just to know his last name. Seriously, there is a potential that they could be celebrating their 50th marriage anniversary down the road!

A lot of you guys probably done something silly to get that date long ago and this is no different. I hope she go on that date and give the guy a chance.

Working with someone is a completely different thing, Thunder. At the least, your employer knows your name, where you live, etc. They may have even done background checks and/or drug tests. They know you show up everyday and that you have a job. Your co-workers see you day in, day out and even if they don't, other co-workers do who have gotten to know you over time. Custormers assume you are okay if you are working there - it is as if the company vouches for you. That is more like going out with a neighbor who is out in the yard where people can see and talk to him, everyday, than a total stranger.

FRISKY
06-20-2010, 04:14 PM
The guy probably didn't give his last name because he didn't want to give any information the girl could use to stalk him if she turned out being one of those crazy, psycho, boil-his-bunny-on-the-kitchen-stove, kind of females.

PennyQuilts
06-20-2010, 06:28 PM
The guy probably didn't give his last name because he didn't want to give any information the girl could use to stalk him if she turned out being one of those crazy, psycho, boil-his-bunny-on-the-kitchen-stove, kind of females.

hahaha!! I didn't think of that, sexist that I am!

rcjunkie
06-20-2010, 06:31 PM
If you have to go to total strangers on a INTERNET website to ask if it's OK or responsible for someone to go on a date with a man the refuses to give his last name---it's probably not a wise move to accept said date.

PennyQuilts
06-20-2010, 08:57 PM
If you have to go to total strangers on a INTERNET website to ask if it's OK or responsible for someone to go on a date with a man the refuses to give his last name---it's probably not a wise move to accept said date.

Which means they probably will do exactly that! :dizzy:

gen70
06-20-2010, 09:22 PM
What's your last name? I haven't met my future HB, but I'm screening purely on last name.

I think I'd like to be Mrs. Murphy. I am Mr. Murphey.

BBatesokc
06-21-2010, 06:54 AM
While I most likely probably wouldn't notice (or find it odd) that a person did not volunteer their last name during an introduction (I most often just say my first name to keep it casual), I would find it very alarming/off-putting if someone drew attention to the fact they wouldn't give their last name.

Personally, if I were ever single again I'd make it a point to Google everyone I considered dating (that didn't sound right, but you know what I mean). I prefer to know the red flags before becoming emotionally attached (which often leads to emotional blinders).

PennyQuilts
06-21-2010, 06:56 AM
Personally, if I were ever single again I'd make it a point to Google everyone I considered dating (that didn't sound right, but you know what I mean). I prefer to know the red flags before becoming emotionally attached (which often leads to emotional blinders).

Are you kidding me? I'd pay for a background check!

Casey
06-21-2010, 01:43 PM
I am Mr. Murphey.


Hmm sorry, that spelling doesn't look that great with my first name.

USG '60
06-21-2010, 04:38 PM
If I were younger and unmarried and met a woman whose physiognomy sparked interest in me and she seemed to be reciprocating, before we gave our whole names I think that I would suggest that we tell each other what we would find out by googling the other. In this day and age if there is something negitive on the net you may as well confess it up front and give your side of the story. After all, we all know how to goggle and we all know that everyone does. Shouldn't it be dealt with up front? Just thinking out loud coz I won't get younger, I won't get unmarried and I won't cheat. :dizzy:

BBatesokc
06-21-2010, 05:07 PM
Are you kidding me? I'd pay for a background check!

As a licensed PI I do about 4-7 background checks a month on potential or current suitors. Usually the checks are ordered by the parents of a daughter.

However, there is much a person can do on their own.

I'd Google a person first. Then I'd specifically search for them on social networking sites. Google their email address too if you know it. Then I'd look on OSCN.net for criminal charges, divorces, VPO's, collections, etc. From there I'd look at OKC.gov for city tickets. You can also go to the police headquarters and do a name inquiry on anyone for $.25 a page (usually 1-3 pages). That will list any police report the persons name appears on.

kevinpate
06-21-2010, 05:21 PM
... Then I'd look on OSCN.net for criminal charges, divorces, VPO's, collections, etc. From there I'd look at OKC.gov for city tickets. You can also go to the police headquarters and do a name inquiry on anyone for $.25 a page (usually 1-3 pages). That will list any police report the persons name appears on.

For those counties, and there are many, which are not viewable at oscn.net, there is odcr.com [On Demand Court Records] Some of the information is accessible at no cost, but greater information is available via a subscription plan. Useful if your person of interest may have resided or had involvement, civil or criminal, with the legal process elsewhere in the state.

Lauri101
06-21-2010, 05:57 PM
There are so many resources out there, it's silly not to use them. Like USG - I don't plan to be unattached and looking again, but if I were to advise someone, I advise to at least follow the simple steps listed by BBates.

Mystery and romance may be fun to read about or watch on the screen, but rapes, assaults and kidnappings just don't get me real stirred up.

Kerry
06-21-2010, 07:53 PM
his last name is probably van der sloot.

roflmao!!!

Firefly831
06-22-2010, 12:00 PM
If you have to go to total strangers on a INTERNET website to ask if it's OK or responsible for someone to go on a date with a man the refuses to give his last name---it's probably not a wise move to accept said date.

I don't recall asking if it were ok or responsible. I was only asking if someone maybe recognized who he may be.
And no she did not and has not accepted his invitation. He gave her his number and she has not called.

OKCMallen
06-22-2010, 12:10 PM
I'd advise the run away action also, but if he's just too hot to pass up, go to Bricktown Brewery. Back in the day - when I placed an ad in the Gazette singles column (pre-Internet dating), I met all dates at the Brewery. We sat at front in bar and if the guy was a real loser or scary, I snuck out the back after excusing myself to go to ladies room. I had a bartender and a waitress (well-tipped) as winggirls and a busman to watch me to car.

My point - it was complicated back then also - and we didn't have cellphones with texting. Losers are still losers and this one sounds like he fits that category.

You ditched him in the middle of a date? That's kinda mean even if he is a doucherod.

OKCMallen
06-22-2010, 12:11 PM
As a licensed PI I do about 4-7 background checks a month on potential or current suitors. Usually the checks are ordered by the parents of a daughter.

However, there is much a person can do on their own.

I'd Google a person first. Then I'd specifically search for them on social networking sites. Google their email address too if you know it. Then I'd look on OSCN.net for criminal charges, divorces, VPO's, collections, etc. From there I'd look at OKC.gov for city tickets. You can also go to the police headquarters and do a name inquiry on anyone for $.25 a page (usually 1-3 pages). That will list any police report the persons name appears on.

Pipl - People Search (http://www.pipl.com)

PennyQuilts
06-22-2010, 12:28 PM
I don't recall asking if it were ok or responsible. I was only asking if someone maybe recognized who he may be.
And no she did not and has not accepted his invitation. He gave her his number and she has not called.

How in the world would we be able to recognize a guy based on that he goes by JR but his first name is Marvin?

Run a check on the phone number.

rondvu
06-22-2010, 02:42 PM
This guy sounds like a freak to me. He should have given out his number or have him call a number with caller id. When the name pops up check it on OSCN.net or National Sex Offender Registry (http://www.familywatchdog.us)

Lauri101
06-22-2010, 04:21 PM
You ditched him in the middle of a date? That's kinda mean even if he is a doucherod.

First - he asked the waitress for a fingerbowl - at a Brewery? Ok, a bit eccentric - but then he called the waitress a "dumb b$%ch".

Rudeness to waitstaff is a deal breaker for me. Added to that - he really smelled bad. (Think BO plus Old Spice combo) It was a meet and greet date and we met. Truly a date from hell!