View Full Version : Any ladies want 2 date or hang out?



dirtrider73068
01-30-2005, 08:14 PM
Any ladies in here that would like date or hang out sometime, or go out and do something. You need to be 18 to 35 maybe older pending on how much older. Easy going, laid back would be nice also. I like to stay at home alot and watch tv or movies or just go to the mall and look around. If any ladies are interested in making a new friend or just hanging out give me a shout or pm me. Hope to hear from some of you.
Dirtrider73068

dirtrider73068
02-12-2005, 11:15 AM
HHMMM viewed 26 times and noreplys. I guess Iam destined to be a loner and not have any friends I would have thoguht I could have a couple replys to have someone to talk to and hangout with. I just can't put a finger on what it is I am doing wrong that I can't make friends and have some people I can talk to. Well I guess this calls for a drinking session tonight. SIt here bymyself and plastered till I pass out maybe it will chase away all my sorrows fro time being hopefully.

hailmary57yd
02-12-2005, 02:40 PM
I think that you should introduce yourself to ladies first. What kind of guy you are how you look like. What do you like. How you gonna take her out....... etc...
If you are more vigorous, uploading your photo may good idea too.

Anyway, good luck to ya...


ffff

mranderson
02-12-2005, 02:54 PM
HHMMM viewed 26 times and noreplys. I guess Iam destined to be a loner and not have any friends I would have thoguht I could have a couple replys to have someone to talk to and hangout with. I just can't put a finger on what it is I am doing wrong that I can't make friends and have some people I can talk to. Well I guess this calls for a drinking session tonight. SIt here bymyself and plastered till I pass out maybe it will chase away all my sorrows fro time being hopefully.

You might start a profile with Yahoo Personals. If you join, it costs around $100 per year, however you do not have to join to have a profile. Just to answer the ladies profiles. "Icebreakers" are free to respond. I have responded to 45 ads in a week and have had 15 replies. All but three or four positive.

dirtrider73068
02-12-2005, 04:41 PM
I have two personal ads running on a 100% free sites. I don't see the reason to spend that kind of money on a dating site. I was thinking if the ladies wanted to know anything they would ask me what they wanted to know about me. I wish I could post a photo but my computer is screwed I should have a new one by mon that I can start uploading my pics with. This one right now won't read my usb ports to upload from a my digi cam. I am lucky the thing even turns on and connects to the internet.

Zoedith
02-13-2005, 01:07 AM
"I have two personal ads running on a 100% free sites...... I was thinking if the ladies wanted to know anything they would ask me what they wanted to know about me. I wish I could post a photo but my computer is screwed I should have a new one by mon that I can start uploading my pics with. This one right now won't read my usb ports to upload from a my digi cam. I am lucky the thing even turns on and connects to the internet."

My opinion: You sound like every other guy out there...you like non specific things, you don't have photo, and you ended this thing saying why doesnt anyone like me......

Personally if I was looking there, I would hope for soemthing deeper something to catch my attention, and if you want pics from girls, then provide a pic as well.

Floating_adrift
02-13-2005, 01:27 AM
^^^ Cool Avatar!

dirtrider73068
02-13-2005, 08:37 AM
Thats just me I am a basic kind of guy. Anything will make me happy. I haven't been out or on a date in over 6 years. I really don't know what to say. If you would like to read what i have put into my profiles check them here at megafriends.com and mingles.com both are under dirtrider73068 and let me wkat I should change or what to say.

mranderson
02-13-2005, 09:27 AM
The best advise I can give you is the following.

Be positive. Be truthful. Be charming. Be yourself.

I know how you feel about not having a date in so long. Until recently, I was in a dry spell myself. So, I do not mention that fact in an ad.

What I DO mention is things romantic. The flowers, the affection, things that will sweep them off their feet. That is the charm. Is it true? Yes. It is. But it is also things that charm women. I also mention what I want out of life. I have really gotten far with mentioning my political plans. I will mention hobbies like travel and photography. And this forum (not by name until I get to know them a bit) and that we have made headway to making this city a better place to live.

I never use terms like lonely man, or anything else that might give a sense of negative thought in the mind of the ladies. I know I would be turned off by that if they said it.

Granted, what I say may not work for you. I bet the charm does. I said I have a 25% reply rate, but I calculated it and it is closer to 33%.

I am on metrodate and mingle as well. Those have not worked at all. That is why I recommeded Yahoo or even Match.com. Yes. They cost. Match is twice the price as yahoo and that is why I did not do it. On yahoo I find the women will rarely resond to a man's ad. He must repsond to hers.

I had a woman reply this morning that said something that made sense. She said she is glad it was not "a canned answer provided by yahoo." That tells me why I had little response before. I have no doubt it will be soon when I meet a lady and get back into a good, healthy relationship.

I gave you the recommendation of investing because I have been there and I am tired of not having a good, decent woman by my side who really cares about me. Who will be there for me unconditionally. I will also tell you from experience, you have a great support system in us. We are here for you.

Dirt, I recently went through a very heartbreaking, traumatic experience in my life. I litrally thank God for Patrick and Keith who have supported me through this time. They have encouraged me and coached me. And will continue to do so. Had it not been for the support I have gained here, I would probably still be in a dry spell wondering why I had a hard time finding a healthy relationship. You can come to me (Patrick and Keith will need to offer) at anytime for advise and support.

Just think about what it has done for me. Life is what you make it. Sometimes you must invest time and even money to get the nice things out of it.

So. Take our advise. Think and do what is right. I hope you come out of your dry spell soon. Just knowing it is amost over is the greatest feeling on earth.:Smiley051

dirtrider73068
02-13-2005, 09:45 AM
I need the advice and help pretty bad, I am going trough a heartbreaker now as it is my wife doesn't care about me anymore but she says she does. So I have decided to try and move on and find somebody that would car bout me and love me for me and not go off adn cheat on me.

mranderson
02-13-2005, 09:47 AM
I need the advice and help pretty bad, I am going trough a heartbreaker now as it is my wife doesn't care about me anymore but she says she does. So I have decided to try and move on and find somebody that would car bout me and love me for me and not go off adn cheat on me.

I am glad I can help. Also. Take your time. rebound would be a mistake.

dirtrider73068
02-13-2005, 10:15 AM
Yes rebound is a evil thing. Right now I just want soemone I can talk to and hang out with. Someone I can be around and take my time and not rush it is the last thing I want to do.

Jay
02-13-2005, 10:28 PM
The first step you need to take is to do something with your life. I don't mean to be condescending in anyway.

What I'm saying is do something with your time to take your mind off of your situation. Do something you haven't done but always wanted to do. Go back to school, pick up a hobby or two, get in shape, anything.

Then when you have all of the pain out of your system go where the people are. Get active with other singles. Go volunteer your time somewhere. Frequent places where single people are found. Then when you meet someone that catches your eye take your time and get to know them.

Long story short.......you will not find personal happiness in a relationship. You have to find it on your own. A love relationship should accent your life, it shouldn't be a lifeline.

When you have a carfree attitude about love, you quickly notice who is right and who is wrong for you.

You have to be confident in the fact that you can enjoy life being single. You won't be single forever the odds are in your favor. Get out there shake off the pity and live a little. I promise you'll thank me for it later.

Besides its her loss, move on to someone who will treat you right.

dirtrider73068
02-13-2005, 11:04 PM
That for me will take a long time I am going through a tough hearthache right now and am just looking for someone I cna talk with and hang out with to get out od the house and go do things with.

Floating_adrift
02-14-2005, 07:41 AM
try going to church?

Jay
02-14-2005, 04:25 PM
I think what you need you probably need right now is some type of counseling. Try checking the area churches, many have singles support groups that meet weekly.

In your current state of mind you will scare off a potential love interest. When a person is lonely they tend to suffocate people. You really need to work through the loss of your marriage before you seek a new love. When you are over her you will see what you need to do better in future relationships. You will also see what kind of people you need to steer clear of so you never have to go through this again.

dirtrider73068
02-14-2005, 05:19 PM
I don't do churches never have. Couseling would be nice if it wasn't so expensive.

Zoedith
02-14-2005, 06:43 PM
Counseling really isnt all that expensive if you just go for counseling....they do have a slide scale payment option. Anyhow, there are support groups anywhere you look, I bet you find a bunch if you search the web.

dirtrider73068
02-14-2005, 07:11 PM
I have looked before mainly for my depression which is kinda holding me back some and there is nowhere it is done cheap. My ins only pays half cause its a mental thing so I am on my own. I just mainly want a lady to hang out with and talk to more than the relationship aspect of it. If I can get out and keep busy I am alright but when I sit at home from not haveing enough money to do anythign or anybody to go see or talk to is when I start getting bad again. But since I have new pc I can get around the web better so maybe that will help I can play games online, and just look around.

Karried
02-14-2005, 07:22 PM
Dirtrider,

I've been reading your posts, I feel for you! - this is what I think, granted, I'm no Dr. Phil, but here goes....

Regarding your marriage, try some free church counseling, self help books (free library) Marriage Encounters, etc.... at least you can say you've given it your best shot. Reach out to others, old friends, other couples, people on this and other boards, we've all been there, relationships are hard!

But, if there is no hope left for your marriage, you'll need to move on. You will have to heal, slowly but surely, so that you will be in the best position to give and receive love and companionship in your future.
Do some soul searching... what do you like, don't like, what makes you happy, how can you make someone else happy? , etc etc. It might take a little time but It will happen, there are so many people just like you who would love to have someone to share life with, hang in there ... But, be ready when it does!

Take some classes, volunteer, work out, be the best you can be ( no, I'm not an Army reqruiter!) do whatever you like to do and you just might meet some nice people in the process.

Take care of yourself - write and let us know how you are doing, even though we haven't met, we still care about you!

Midtowner
02-14-2005, 09:10 PM
Dirtrider,

I deal a lot with divorce since that's a good chunk of what the law firm I work for does. One thing I recommend to most of my clients is counseling. Also, get out and do stuff. I'm no therapist.. not by a very long shot, but it's a tough deal.

I do know that if you're into things taught from a Christian perspective that Crossings does have some divorce workshops/support groups. I think they're out at Hefner Expressway & Memorial. They send us brochures. I'm sure if you call them, they can help you out.

Patrick
02-15-2005, 02:02 AM
Here's their website: www.crossingsokc.org

Go to "ministries", then click on "Counseling. "

Here's the link to their Care Series Classes. Divorce Care I might be a good class for you to take, even though you're not at that stage yet.

dirtrider73068
02-15-2005, 03:15 PM
I have a bunch of stuff Ilike to do but it kinda sucks and is boring when I have nobody to enjoy it with. I have a gas powered r/c truck I can play with but get bored real quick by myself, I have a 200 dollar mountain bike real nice one used it a few times no fun when nobody to ride with or a place to ride, I like to watch movies but would be more fun if I had a woman to hold and cuddle with to watch them with me. I like to go to the mall and walk around and the shops, I kinda like to golf been out once, can get on the course for FREE but never go. Kinda see where I am getting at, there are things I like to do but don't have anybody to enjoy them with or to come along.

Midtowner
02-15-2005, 04:22 PM
I used to really enjoy riding my bike over at Lake Hefner.

I don't recall ever going with someone else to do it. The track was around 9.5 miles around. It's windy as heck, be warned.

(my odometer always read something like 9.6)

mranderson
02-15-2005, 04:48 PM
I have a bunch of stuff Ilike to do but it kinda sucks and is boring when I have nobody to enjoy it with. I have a gas powered r/c truck I can play with but get bored real quick by myself, I have a 200 dollar mountain bike real nice one used it a few times no fun when nobody to ride with or a place to ride, I like to watch movies but would be more fun if I had a woman to hold and cuddle with to watch them with me. I like to go to the mall and walk around and the shops, I kinda like to golf been out once, can get on the course for FREE but never go. Kinda see where I am getting at, there are things I like to do but don't have anybody to enjoy them with or to come along.

Dirtrider. That is why we are trying to help you. I suggest getting out and enjoying those things you use to enjoy.

Keith
02-15-2005, 04:58 PM
I have a 200 dollar mountain bike real nice one used it a few times no fun when nobody to ride with or a place to ride.

Hey, dirtrider, I have a bike too that I ride at Lake Hefner. Like MidTowner said, it is about 10 miles around the lake, and it will give you a work out. Even on a calm day, it seems windy at the lake. There is a specific trail for bicyclists, so it is a safe place to ride.

I have an S-10 pickup that I carry my bike in when I go ride at the lake. You are correct, though, it is no fun riding by yourself. If you have someone to ride with, time goes by much quicker. I'd be more than happy to come by and pick you and your bike up and go to Lake Hefner. Afterwards, we could go get something to snack on. Let me know if you are interested.

dirtrider73068
02-15-2005, 05:52 PM
That sounds good keith, I live in noble if thats out of hte way I cna mange to fit it in my car and meet you up in the city somewhere. I haven'r riden in a long time I guess I should work out some so I don't run out of breathe. I did ride at a place in norman called sutton wilderness. Its on sonner road north of robisan, it has a bunch of off road trails. It was fun till it was getting overgrown and the sticktights were growing everywhere and I came in with them stuck to my pants and socks so I haven't been back. I liked the off road my bike is made for it for sure it has shocks front and rear, makes for a nice ride.

Keith
02-15-2005, 05:58 PM
That sounds good keith, I live in noble if thats out of hte way I cna mange to fit it in my car and meet you up in the city somewhere. I haven'r riden in a long time I guess I should work out some so I don't run out of breathe. I did ride at a place in norman called sutton wilderness. Its on sonner road north of robisan, it has a bunch of off road trails. It was fun till it was getting overgrown and the sticktights were growing everywhere and I came in with them stuck to my pants and socks so I haven't been back. I liked the off road my bike is made for it for sure it has shocks front and rear, makes for a nice ride.

If you can get your bike up here to the city, then you can park your car at my house, and we can put both bikes in the back of the pickup. I'm sure you would rather have a female companion, however, right now I think you need someone to talk to.

Zoedith
02-15-2005, 09:01 PM
The christian clinic for counseling on 50th near may, charges between 5 and 25 dollars a session if you on their sliding scale option. Knowing people who have been there, they do not preach to you nor care if you arent chrisitan. I am sure there are other centers around that are like that, and some that I know that do slide scale payment options as well.

I think it is a good idea for you to do some activities for friends, and do not think it would be a wise idea to pursue another relationship considering the situation you are in.

Everyone here seems really supportive and a lot of what you need might be accomplished through this. In my dating experience I think it would be best for you to have activites that you enjoy doing on your own as well as having some to enjoy with a companion. It's a little unnerving to meet someone who wants to do everything with you and can not enjoy themselves when you arent there. Of course, that's my opinion...

dirtrider73068
02-16-2005, 03:15 PM
Zoedith,
I know what you are saying but I am not really hunting for a relationship, I am trying to find a friend is all I am wanting. I would like to have both male and female friends to talk to and hang out with, there has to be no relationship with a female other than just to have her to talk to and sit with thats all. Right now I want campanionship, the sex and love can be put on the back burner and wait.

mranderson
02-16-2005, 04:58 PM
Dirt. I can understand why you would not get back into circulation yet.

When I split with my last woman, it had been somewhat short but intense. I found out some things about her that were shocking, and made the decision not to try and repair the relationship. We had been together for several months.

I went to the personals, cruised them and have recently met some women on line I am quite interested in, and some that I will be happy with close friendship.

I gave the advise to invest in one of the more higher end services like Yahoo. It can work. I wrote an ad that has attracted more women than I ever imagined. They are cawling out of the woodwork, to coin a phrase. In fact, after one week, I have stopped replying to new ones and am setting my eyes on one of about five or six.

You could place the ad and tell them you do not want a serious romance, just a lady hang buddy. If she acts too serious, just explain you have come off a bad marriage and want to recover first. Most will understand, but you will get that occasional wallflower that will try and cling. I have one of those. (hey, I can pass her ad to you, lol).

I personally have tried the church singles group, and at first it worked, however they changed too much and started treating me like a lepar. It may work for you. Explore the options. Plus, remember, while out main focus is to be a sounding board for the improvement of Oklahoma City, we are also a community of friends (an exception or two in my case) who support each other, pray for each other, and even if it is by email, comfort each other. Take advantage of it. It will help. Trust me. I am walking proof.

dirtrider73068
02-16-2005, 05:32 PM
I have two persoanl ads explaining my need for friendship only and still no replys. I have seen yahoo's and have a ad on there but am not willing ot spendthe money to find a friend when they can be found for free anywhere. Its just being able to find them is all. If they are crawling out of the woodwork then how am I not able to find them. My wife has I guess meet a coworker in a new friendship adn she has a sister I am trying to hook up with as friends, she sounds nice but what puzzles me the most is that the woman I do meet or see pics of me say "oh he is cute" but then I don't ever get to meet them or be friends with them. Thats where I get the what am I doing wrong question. I ama nice guy easy going and very laid back.

Jay
02-17-2005, 03:04 AM
Dating for guys is different for each guy. Some people achieve relationships without even trying, while others go years without a date. I personally think its one of things that if you try too hard. It can be the equivalent of having body odor. I think you need to be causual in your approach and don't sweat it if you get rejected.

I would like for you to check out this website www.askmen.com (http://www.askmen.com/)

This site is more or less a cosmo for guys. It gives you tips on dating and practically every other aspect of a guys life. Some of the articles are out in leftfield; however, I have found a lot of helpful tips.

Dating is one of those things to where persistence pays off. Just simply because if you pay attention to what works and what doesn't. You will be successful.

Midtowner
02-17-2005, 07:09 AM
I have two persoanl ads explaining my need for friendship only and still no replys. I have seen yahoo's and have a ad on there but am not willing ot spendthe money to find a friend when they can be found for free anywhere. Its just being able to find them is all. If they are crawling out of the woodwork then how am I not able to find them. My wife has I guess meet a coworker in a new friendship adn she has a sister I am trying to hook up with as friends, she sounds nice but what puzzles me the most is that the woman I do meet or see pics of me say "oh he is cute" but then I don't ever get to meet them or be friends with them. Thats where I get the what am I doing wrong question. I ama nice guy easy going and very laid back.

Wait a second... you're trying to hook up with your soon-to-be ex's sister? Dude... no. That can't be good.

Also, I will tell you something... If you describe yourself as a "nice, guy, easy going, laid back", you're going to come off as a bit of a wimp. It's my experience that unless you're just damned lucky with relationships, this attitude will not get you very far. Many women will tell you that they just want a "nice" guy. Complete, total, utter BS. They want guys that are nice to them, treat them with respect, etc. (generally speaking), but they also in general want a fella that is not another one of their girlfriends.

dirtrider73068
02-17-2005, 02:50 PM
No its not my stbx sister, its my stbx's coworkers sister. And I keep saying I am not trying to hook up for a relationship, all I am wanting from a female is friendship a companion somebody I can talk too and hangout with if a more serious relationship looks to be in the future then so be it, if not then I will have gained a friend. I keep saying that all I want is a friend to be with, male or female more female than anything. I think if I have a female friend maybe I can get her side of veiw and help as to what to do.


Wait a second... you're trying to hook up with your soon-to-be ex's sister? Dude... no. That can't be good.

Also, I will tell you something... If you describe yourself as a "nice, guy, easy going, laid back", you're going to come off as a bit of a wimp. It's my experience that unless you're just damned lucky with relationships, this attitude will not get you very far. Many women will tell you that they just want a "nice" guy. Complete, total, utter BS. They want guys that are nice to them, treat them with respect, etc. (generally speaking), but they also in general want a fella that is not another one of their girlfriends.

1adam12
02-17-2005, 03:49 PM
My wife has I guess meet a coworker in a new friendship adn she has a sister I am trying to hook up with as friends,

Let's see, his wife met a coworker, and the coworker has a sister, and he is trying to hook up with her.


Wait a second... you're trying to hook up with your soon-to-be ex's sister? Dude... no.

Where did you get the idea he was going out with the wife's sister? You didn't read the post carefully, did you...dude?

dirtrider73068
02-17-2005, 04:12 PM
Let's see, his wife met a coworker, and the coworker has a sister, and he is trying to hook up with her.

Thank you 1adam12, that's what I was saying and meaning it was the coworkers sister I am trying to meet.

Where did you get the idea he was going out with the wife's sister? You didn't read the post carefully, did you...dude?

Guess he didn't or just misunderstood it, common mistake no big deal for me, I do it all the time.