View Full Version : Deadbeat Dads



oneforone
11-26-2008, 03:37 AM
OKLAHOMA CITY -- Thousands of dollars of child support goes unpaid each year. But tracking down the culprits is not an easy job for the Department of Human Services.

"We've exhausted all other remedies," said Debra West, DHS regional administrator. "They've indicated to us they just need to go to jail."
West is talking about people like Robert Allen Smith, who owes more than $200,000 to 12 children.

Click here to watch the video of NEWS 9 following along with two agents as they try to arrest child support violators.
DHS says they could use the public's help in locating child support violates.

News9.com - Oklahoma City, OK - News, Weather, Video and Sports | DHS Confronts Most Wanted (http://www.news9.com/global/story.asp?s=9413351)




I have two solutions:

Put a bounty on the heads of Dead Beat dads. Bounty Hunters everywhere would find these guys or at least flush them out of hiding.

Put child support debts on credit report and allow the children to sell the child support debt their owed to collection agencies.

Thunder
11-26-2008, 11:25 AM
My dad never really pay child support. I'm not sure if he was at the start, but I do know that it was rare and then nothing. It turns out that the Judge, whoever the moronic Judge in OKC that is, decided that he didn't have to pay, cuz he was on Social Security. I wonder how many fathers taking advantage of the system?

Since the both of us turned 18, he was to pay up everything owed or when he get a job, but all of it is forgotten and mom isn't thinkin bout it anymore. They are both on good terms now. He tries to make it up to us. It is funny how from time to time they agree together when he goes on and on and on about my debts and how to deal with it. lol So, yeah, they're on good terms. He even been in her house a few times. I'm sure he had changed somewhat, but I'm tired of hearing him bossing me around, but he is right. lol

Midtowner
11-26-2008, 11:44 AM
Sometimes you just can't get blood out of a turnip.

I was going to say a lot of other stuff -- but it boils down to this -- situations are complicated sometimes. And sometimes the courts and the law will never be able to afford an adequate remedy.

BailJumper
11-27-2008, 07:15 AM
In this day and age, unless the person is a complete transient, they can be found.

I have no idea if/how you collect when the deadbeat is on social security or welfare - but I do know you can intercept tax refunds, garnish wages and in some cases seize property to be sold to satisfy the debt.

My sister had her ex thrown in jail for a week and later had his commercial driver's license taken away - that was enough to get him paying again.

Makes you wonder why anyone would have kids with someone with such a low since of parental responsability.

kevinpate
12-07-2008, 05:54 AM
> such a low [sense] of parental responsability

The devil may care free styling whimsical attitude is too often seen as downright charming, at least until the connection gets made to the absence of diapers, food, utilties, clothes, meds, etc.

PennyQuilts
12-07-2008, 07:53 AM
My parents divorced when I was an infant fifty years ago. He made $300.00 per month. He sent $100.00 per month to my mother, without fail, as child support for my sister and me. He was a GREAT dad in every way.

I have no patience with dead beat parents. They can get a second job, if need be.

Tracking down dead beat parents is easier said than done. It is not like the agencies have teams of agents out knocking on doors. The custodial parent has to do the leg work and give them information but even then, a dead beat is likely to duck it. While he/she is smoking up Winstons, they will swear they are being bled dry by the old lady (or male equivalent).

"She doesn't need my money" is the refrain I hear all the time. Usually this is because she is living with some other guy who is paying for the dead beat's kids.

They need to man up.

Curt
12-07-2008, 09:06 AM
Sometimes you just can't get blood out of a turnip.

I was going to say a lot of other stuff -- but it boils down to this -- situations are complicated sometimes. And sometimes the courts and the law will never be able to afford an adequate remedy.



The courts and the law can do whatever they want...and as long as it benefits them they will..

Lawyers, cops, judges and the whole circus of the legal system in this country are all so corrupt...

PennyQuilts
12-07-2008, 12:47 PM
The courts and the law can do whatever they want...and as long as it benefits them they will..

Lawyers, cops, judges and the whole circus of the legal system in this country are all so corrupt...

What does that have to do with dead beat dads? (not that I agree that the courts et. al. are corrupt - inefficient at times, but not corrupt).

A lot of people want the court to fix the screwed up messes they have made of their lives. Choose mates wisely and don't f*ck up. Blaming the courts because they can't waive a magic wand and straighten out the spaghetti bowl that some people make of their lives is not fair, in my opinion. What possible motive would a court, a cop, a judge or a lawyer have in allowing a deadbeat to dump his/her kids on someone else or the system?

Curt
12-07-2008, 01:48 PM
What does that have to do with dead beat dads? (not that I agree that the courts et. al. are corrupt - inefficient at times, but not corrupt).

A lot of people want the court to fix the screwed up messes they have made of their lives. Choose mates wisely and don't f*ck up. Blaming the courts because they can't waive a magic wand and straighten out the spaghetti bowl that some people make of their lives is not fair, in my opinion. What possible motive would a court, a cop, a judge or a lawyer have in allowing a deadbeat to dump his/her kids on someone else or the system?


What it has to do with deadbeat dads is this...If it directly affected a lawyer, cop or judge they would do what ever it took to make things right..

But if it does not directly affect a lawyer, cop or judge they take the easy, lazy way out as all lawyers, cops and judges do...I mean why try to help the victim out too much if it does not directly affect them..

Do I like lawyers, cops and judges...no I know too many of them and know how corupt they are..

PennyQuilts
12-07-2008, 03:15 PM
Going after child support is a civil action. It is not until the dead beat is in contempt that they face potential jail time. It is not like these are criminal cases. In my opinion, too many people make lousy choices and then want the courts to clean up their messes.

Frankly, I don't know of any lawyers or judges who are going to default on their child support. They have to work in the courts and that keeps most of them honest. As to the lawyers and judges who are married to dead beats - they obviously know enough about the system to get as good a result as possible - but that doesn't suggest that the courts are "corrupt."

You sound pretty convinced that cops, lawyers and judges get special treatment. Do you have anything to base that on? In what way do you specifically think the courts are corrupt or that the individuals you talk about get special treatment?

Curt
12-07-2008, 10:19 PM
G

You sound pretty convinced that cops, lawyers and judges get special treatment. Do you have anything to base that on? In what way do you specifically think the courts are corrupt or that the individuals you talk about get special treatment?


Absolutley I do I know many cops that have gotten out of drunk driving because they show their badge...I've been with them at the time...been with them at the time when they get pulled over for speeding and flash their badge..one cop I know has'nt paid child support in years....how does he get out of it?....I have an idea....oh gee thats right...he has "connections"

I am trying to buy a house here and the city is giving me a hard time about pulling permits.....but oh guess what...a cop I know in the same city does'nt have to pull them for his house...gee...


Ok so you ask what I have to base that on...how much longer do you want me to go on...because I have all night here.

PennyQuilts
12-08-2008, 06:23 AM
Well, the topic was about dead beat dads. Sounds like you know of ONE cop who hasn't paid child support in years. You are claiming that means the "fix is in." We ALL know of people who haven't paid child support for years. They aren't all cops, lawyers or judges. Child support is quite a bit different from DUIs, permits, etc. Seems to me that is a pretty reckless statement to claim that judges, lawyers and cops are all corrupt when it comes to child support.

Child support, as I said before, is a civil action. Unlike a DUI, a fellow cop has no say in whether a charge is brought. Frequently, it is brought by individuals. Permits are issued by agencies - not the court.

kevinpate
12-08-2008, 06:51 AM
.oO(Nothing grows deep roots like a chip on a shoulder)Oo.

Midtowner
12-08-2008, 07:43 AM
It may be that you know a police officer who is not paying... well... fantastic. Mom (or dad) needs to get on the phone with a lawyer and talk about her options. I guarantee you, no matter how friendly the non-payor is with the local district judge, this is a pretty easy fight.

OKCMallen
12-09-2008, 10:00 AM
Absolutley I do I know many cops that have gotten out of drunk driving because they show their badge...I've been with them at the time...been with them at the time when they get pulled over for speeding and flash their badge..one cop I know has'nt paid child support in years....how does he get out of it?....I have an idea....oh gee thats right...he has "connections"

I am trying to buy a house here and the city is giving me a hard time about pulling permits.....but oh guess what...a cop I know in the same city does'nt have to pull them for his house...gee...


Ok so you ask what I have to base that on...how much longer do you want me to go on...because I have all night here.



You're right. When I was inducted into the Bar we really were initiated into the International Society of Lying, Fickle and Self-Serving Professionals.


Are you really mad because you have to pull permits for a house that you, legally, have to pull permits for? If someone else is cheating, blow the whistle. Don't cry like an impotent jerk on a messageboard accusing all cops, judges, and lawyers being corrupt. Sheesh.

Midtowner
12-09-2008, 10:34 AM
You're right. When I was inducted into the Bar we really were initiated into the International Society of Lying, Fickle and Self-Serving Professionals.

I can't wait!

OKCMallen
12-09-2008, 11:17 AM
I can't wait!

It's fun. It's like that Simpsons episode where Homer joins the...Stonemasons (?) and gets good parking and his ring triggers soda machines to dispense for free.

Midtowner
12-09-2008, 11:23 AM
It's fun. It's like that Simpsons episode where Homer joins the...Stonemasons (?) and gets good parking and his ring triggers soda machines to dispense for free.

I already got that when I joined a fraternity in undergrad.

Are there additional benefits I should be aware of?

OKCMallen
12-09-2008, 11:41 AM
Well, according to Curt, we get to make ALL of the laws all serve our niche fellowship. Not bad!

Midtowner
12-09-2008, 11:47 AM
Take me to county!

bretthexum
12-09-2008, 01:53 PM
I heard the bar has ambulance chasing training ;)
One of my best friends is a lawyer. He's full of sh*t a lot of the time, but he's not corrupt.

kevinpate
12-10-2008, 05:01 AM
Take me to county!

That might have made a hot selling t shirt at the recent attorney convention :)

DaveSkater
02-05-2009, 05:56 AM
All this reference in this thread to Deadbeat "Dads", and the pronoun "Him" and "His".

My ex owes me almost $50k. She doesn't think anything of it. I call it my hush money, cause it keeps her mouth from getting out of control, among other things. I could have her arrested, but I don't want my children to be exposed to the inevitable, "See what your father did!? He had me thrown in Jail!!!"

Plus, you can't get blood from a turnip, as was stated above.

PennyQuilts
02-05-2009, 09:00 AM
All this reference in this thread to Deadbeat "Dads", and the pronoun "Him" and "His".

My ex owes me almost $50k. She doesn't think anything of it. I call it my hush money, cause it keeps her mouth from getting out of control, among other things. I could have her arrested, but I don't want my children to be exposed to the inevitable, "See what your father did!? He had me thrown in Jail!!!"

Plus, you can't get blood from a turnip, as was stated above.

Excellent point and practical approach. You sound like you've got both feet on the ground - your kids are lucky to have you. I see dead beat moms all the time, too. Some parents really need the child support but, honestly, by the time they go to court and lose work and all that, they may end up worse off than before, depending on how much is owed. It is a shame.

DaveSkater
02-05-2009, 09:02 AM
Thanks for the kind words East Coast :)

PennyQuilts
02-05-2009, 09:04 AM
Thanks for being a sane dad!

DaveSkater
02-05-2009, 09:42 AM
Your words mean a lot to me, especially given your profession. (I garnered that you're a Guardian Ad Litem from another post)

I do take my single parent status VERY seriously. I don't date, party or any other adult type behaviours. My life is devoted to my two kids, a 12 year old boy and an 8 year old girl. I've been raising them by myself since my girl was 18months old. I've got an excellent support network comprised of my loving mother and sister. They pick them up daily from the private school that I send them to, and work with them on homework until I'm able to get there after work. (5:30 or 6).

The mother has supervised visitation only, and my kids would rather that was discontinued. We've got a court appointed parenting coordinator who has instructed me to supervise these visitations actually. We hold them at a park. A skatepark specifically. It gives me something to do with my time instead of sitting idle in the car.

Both of my kids are the most well behaved, smartest, andwell rounded kids I know.

It's the hardest job that I've ever loved doing!!!

PennyQuilts
02-05-2009, 10:06 AM
I'm sure there is a story behind all that and not a pretty one, but sounds like you are being responsible and sensible about your kiddos. And you're right - being a parent is a HARD job. Kudos to your mom and sister for stepping up.

And while you didn't ask - the day will come when it might not be a bad idea to bring a new partner in for yourself - that will let the kids off the hook about worrying about dear old dad. I think my kids are thrilled to death that I remarried so they didn't have to worry about me (but they were 19, 22 and 24 - not babies). They worried for a long time about their dad when he was alone (Again, I am talking about after they were grown). But maybe you can consider all that when they are older. They are coming up to that tween age that is sometimes rocky. I hope their mom doesn't rock the boat.

DaveSkater
02-05-2009, 12:24 PM
Yeah, she rocks it alright. Grrrr..... No its not a pretty story behind it, but it's been a beautiful story since, and will remain just that!

I haven't totally decided not to involve myself romantically, but will totally keep that separate from the lives of my children. Since they live with me full time, that kinda precludes evenings. I do have a few lunch time friends that I see, and would probably even consider a relationship with the right woman WHO I MEET AT CHURCH. LOL (bars and concerts haven't worked well for me in the past.)

But I'm not "lookin" so to speak. Despite the picture post I made in the singles section of this site. I'm just narcissitic that's all heh....

I'm glad you found happiness! I'm sure I will too someday, just not this decade. Which I'm fine with. Cause my kids make me the happiest Dad on the planet.

PennyQuilts
02-05-2009, 01:15 PM
Well, sounds like you have found happiness, to me!

And you've got plenty of time.

DaveSkater
02-05-2009, 01:21 PM
LOL, I hope you're right as I turn 44 tomorrow..... I figure it's halftime in my game, and maybe the second half will be as blessed as the first.

I do know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my team is winning tho!

Karried
02-07-2009, 04:10 PM
Happy Birthday Dave!

DaveSkater
02-07-2009, 10:21 PM
Thank you!

USG '60
02-08-2009, 11:45 AM
A WONderful exchange there. Thank you both.

danielf1935
02-08-2009, 11:50 AM
DaveSkater, hope your birthday was a good one. My son and I went to the skate park early this morning, I don't skate, but he had a blast. He's 14 (15 in April), loves to skate but to busy with sports and his racing hobby and skating has taken a back burner for now.

DaveSkater
02-09-2009, 08:05 AM
Thanks, indeed it was. Yeah, I wanted to go skate yesterday, but church always wins out sunday mornings. What skatepark do you guys go to?