View Full Version : Parentectomy

09-03-2008, 12:04 PM
From: The American Journal of Family Therapy...

Parentectomy in the Crossfire...

"Moving beyond the fact that false abuse allegations are primarily used to gain financial, material or custodial advantages, the author exhorts those who have been falsely accused how to defend themselves, giving a wake up call as to how false abuse allegations have become the current weapon of choice, which tear families apart to the demise of the victims and their child(ren), in protracted divorce or child custody disputes. This whistleblower delivers timely information, intermixing stories; legal cases, social issues and the “what to do’s” with a concise summary of problems and solutions.

What is the penalty for this type of child abuse? “Only recently have
some states enacted new laws, sanctioning ex-spouses who knowingly and maliciously file false allegations, making it at least a second degree misdemeanor. In Florida, the same is a third degree felony.” Society’s laws are developing to protect children—how these laws are being twisted and used, perpetrates what the author refers to as “the reverse cycle of child abuse” (Tong, 2002, p. 107).

All too often, many believe that children “always tell the truth”; too few realize that children’s memories are very suggestible and programmable by adults. They forget that those adult reporters maybe lying, exaggerating, or acting with an agenda to harm the target parent. Caseworkers, counselors and evaluators may take sides, unwittingly, or even as a hired gun. They may ignore the fact that “children can be taught to parrot almost anything and coached to relate stories both true and false” (Tong, 2002, p. 86). Children
are used as pawns and may or may not become enmeshed with the
harmful manipulation or mentality of the accuser/alienator. Within such issue, including the acceptance of parental alienation, the author touches upon the upcoming relevancy of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS).

In protracted divorce and custody disputes, the most common strongest alignments occur at the impressionable ages of 9–12. This preadolescent time, the child(ren) frequently develops a polarized view by the pressure and influence of the alienator towards the target parent. A severe alienator may lay in wait for years until the child(ren) reach this particular age with the goal to deliver further destructive actions and begin more litigation.

When the child(ren) develops a strong alignment with one parent against the other, they internally are trying to desperately reduce their own anxiety and confusion. Typically, at some point, these child(ren) mirror the perpetrator’s false allegations, feelings, statements, or emotions after being alienated and separated for a long period of time from the victim parent.

Any attempt by this parent to reunite is often twisted and used against them by the alienating parent. Should they express any frustration, anger or disappointment and attempt to sort out any issues, it is usually portrayed in some negative form. Many forget that alienation can occur during a marriage, and not just during a legal action. When one claims that alienation exists, professionals should first determine when the alienation initially started. Often, therapists, evaluators, and the legal community claim that a child is
old enough to make their own choice, however it is disturbing that rarely what must be taken into account is—(has this child(ren) been alienated for years prior?). Thus, an older child is not always truly in a position to make a healthy choice after years of being brainwashed."

To read more, go to: T5QA-b9ifnaukR/Parentectomy_in_the_Crossfire.pdf

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