View Full Version : OKDHS- the fight for my son's life

07-18-2008, 03:44 PM
For reasons of Protecting my son and I, our names will not be given.

I'll start from the beginning.

Late last year my step son, who I love despite his offense, was accused of sexual misconduct with a minor. I will not go into specifics of his case except to say that he confessed, turn himself in, and later convicted and serving his sentence. The very night His mother and i learned of this, from the victim, we called the police and turned him in. It was not an easy thing to do, the decision was difficult, he is after all our son. This isn't the story though....

I have a younger son, a toddler, who is at this moment, in danger of being taken away, and he needs your help.

Soon after the older son's arrest OKDHS contacted us and asked if we would bring the baby to their office to talk, and to find out if he was hurt in any way as well. We did as they asked, we brought him to them, they interviewed him, but not with us present. They said that we weren't allowed to be present in the room or otherwise. During their own questioning it was revealed that nothing had happened to the baby, only that he might have been in the room during the offense. This all happened in a common room, but the other kids were watching T.V.

While the interrogation was going on with the baby we were being told that there are counseling options for us and him, everything seemed like they were trying to help.

Several days later we were told to bring aj the another office, the main DHS office OKC, where we were place in an interigation room and told that we had to sing a voluntary request of services form. The whole thing was very uneasy, with the locked door, the two way mirror, and being told that if we didn't sign they would take our baby from us. This was all normal counseling and then they added non offenders counseling for us. What is that, a class to learn how to be a non offender, we already were non offenders. We didn't do anything wrong. We were told that his brother could no longer see him without supervision, We agreed on that one. So, we signed the paper and were let out of the room.

months had gone by before they contacted us about where we were supposed to go, saying that we weren't going. Of course not, they were supposed to let us know when and where. As it turns out they lost the paperwork and needed us to sign again. They asked if we could come back to their office again, yeah right. I got them to fax the paperwork to me, and i told them I'd get it back to them.

Here's where it get tricky. My ex-wife and I are divorced, because of all that has happened, I have custody of our baby, which we mutually agreed to.I have left the state, I have been gone from OK for 4 months now, where I am now I won't say, in order to protect my son from the OKDHS child selling ring. I have read a ton a blogs about OKDHS, and I've come to the conclusion that they do not have the best interest of my son at heart. Kids in their custody are being beaten, raped, and killed. They don't even know where some of them are, and some of the ones they do, they haven't talk to in years. All of this was on the news there, I don't trust them with my son. They will not get my son. I am a great father to him, i work my fingers to the bone for him, and he doesn't need for anything. He wants more toys, but his new box is full, so he really doesn't need more. He'll get more though. Anyway back to my story...

A short time ago, DHS was told that we weren't going to sign the paperwork, and that I had left the state to pursue a new job offer. They said they would take custody if we didn't, well, they showed up. Of course my son and I weren't there. they searched the house, asked a bunch of questions, like where am I, where is our son, and she of course did not know. It was meant to be that way. OKDHS also told her, with a cop present, that if she didn't tell where i was that she would go to jail. My ex-wife said let's go then, and nothing happened.My ex-wife said thanks for wrecking my family, and the case worker said you're welcome, and then my wife says next time you want to talk to me talk to my lawer. Good for her, made me proud!

I learned this , when i let my ex-wife know we were ok, and almost to our destination. Then I called OKDHS, I told them (names to be left out for fear of retribution) that i was out of state now, and that i have custody of our son, and that I was getting a divorce. She said to me that my son has a pick up order against him, i then said I'll have my lawyer contact you, she said you do that. And I will...

That is where my story is now. she had an attorney on the case, but I want more. After I beat them, I'm going to sue them. I don't care if I win, I probably won't, but they will know what it's like to be harrased. And I'm Sue everyone from the Director of DHS to the case worker. Do Not Let Them Push You Around. You have rights, they only pray on the poor, and the people who don't think they have a chance. Do Whatever it takes to protect your kids from them! Get an attorney, get three jobs to pay for them if you have to, but fight! I will continue to fight until I get a formal ' I'm sorry sir, we were wrong' They don't care about the kids, only the pocket book, only their god like power. They think they are untouchable, no one is untouchable. They operate with almost immunity, it's time to stand up people.

Do Not Let Them Push You Around Anymore. You have rights, go over their heads. Go the the State capitol and bang on doors until some listens. Call the media, get them on the air. Make it public. Do you think your child is worth it? I do. Don't be shocked when you hear about this on the news, I'm going national with this, world wide if possible. They picked the wrong man this time. But, don't break the law. The best way to get things done is through the people who have the power to make a change.

Until next time...

Fight for your kids, that's all they ask for. That's all I'm doing.

Protecting my son
midwest city, Oklahoma

07-18-2008, 05:31 PM
Because you didn't get a good lawyer from the start, they are most likely going to rape you.

The non-offender counseling isn't that bad though. They try to get everyone in the family go through it if they can. I have gone through it, you just learn about sex offenders, their victims, and what they all go through. It is more like a class. I am actually kind of glad that I went through it because I know a lot more about how things go down than I did before.

I totally feel for you, just saying.. it is hard enough when you play your cards right. From my experience with the system, I don't see your situation turning out well and no one is going to listen to you because each person in authority gets 100 parents a day calling them and complaining about DHS.

07-18-2008, 05:49 PM
we already were non offenders. We didn't do anything wrong.

I'm assuming this class would be like Al anon for alcoholics.. teaching you how to deal with an Offender.

So, the reason they are taking your child now is because you didn't take this class?

I'm a little confused, the problem is that because you refuse to take the class, you are in contempt and DHS can put your son in foster care?

If it were me, I'd get the best lawyer I could find, have him contact DHS and work a deal to now take the classes if that's all that's keeping DHS after you.

A life on the run isn't healthy for your child... in your efforts to protect him this might be worse.

Good luck

07-18-2008, 06:15 PM
I didn't refuse to take any classes. The first time i was ordered to sign this "voluntary" form was while in a DHS office behind a locked door. I asked then, why do i have to take this class? They responded with " if you don't, we'll take your son." Naturally i signed the paperwork, otherwise i may very well have been forced to leave my son there. They were supposed to get back to me with the when and where of the classes. Months went by and we never heard from them, until they called and asked why we refused to go to the classes. We explained to them, that we never heard from them, and that they were supposed to contact us. A couple of days go by, they contact us again and say they lost the original paperwork. They say we need to come down there and sign it again. Well, that wasn't going to happen. I told them to fax my the paperwork, which they did. There was an additional requirement added, not on the first one. I read the paperwork, it says very clearly, this is not a legal document, this is voluntary. I elected to not sign it at that time. I was not named as offender, victim, person responsible or anything else. I talk to my ex-wife, we researched OKDHS on the web, and was amazed at what we found. kids being taken from homes, and even after no fault was found to parents the child still not returned even years later. My ex-wife and i decided the best thing for my son was to leave and get him away from anyone that might do him harm, which is what DHS does too right? only I'm keeping him with me, not some stranger. Which, by the way, kids are being beaten and raped in DHS custody everyday, why are they going after people who love their kids. Maybe they should spend more time cleaning up their own back yard.

Anyway, it wasn't until after i left the state that they issued a pickup order. If their intention was to get my son son away from the person responsible for hurting someone else, i did it. why put a pick up order on him? I've been gone for 4 months now, why not just leave him alone. He's happy, has friends, watches movies, and learns his numbers and stuff. He lives great, he loves to laugh, and I will not let anyone take his childhood from him.

07-18-2008, 06:15 PM
I don't believe the gentleman is, "on the run." He simply left the jurisdiction of DHS. No charges were filed against the man, he has custody of the child, so he can go and do what he wants. I hope it's truly in the best interest of his children and he's shooting straight with us. A lawyer will be needed to negotiate a return to the state, but until that's signed, sealed and delivered - he should stay away. I obviously don't know all of the details, but from what he has written I would say he did the right thing in getting the child out of the jurisdiction of DHS and the long arm of a rather questionable agency. I just hope the man is who he says he is - and will take good care of the child. No gripes or problems here from his not wanting to take the intimidation and threats from DHS. Good luck to all.

07-18-2008, 06:23 PM
I appreciate that. All that has been said is the truth. I have only one wish, for my son to grow up happy, and to have never seen the inside of the system. I have seen too many stories of children that go into the system, and it's always the same. Once you go in, you don't come out. I live my life to see that boy smile everyday, I just don't understand why someone would want to take that away.

07-18-2008, 09:05 PM
I love Oklahoma, I really do and can't wait to get back home.

But DHS needs to be abolished, boarded up and shut down and recreated from the foundation up. What a punch of pathetic losers. I've listened for years to the piss-poor way DHS bullies where something simply bad happens that leaves no one in danger BUT the offender himself. Sad thing is, nothing has been fixed.

Those DHS dumpheads are just out to make a name for themselves instead of trying to do what they were truly deputized for... the well being of families and children. They need to stop going overboard and get their $hit together.

Unfortunately, Texas isn't any better. CPS is a system Texans really fear. Same with the Kansas SRS, at least what I've heard from my mom.

I feel people have created a system that is beginning to chase innocent parents into hiding. Heck, my child could get a scratch from playing outside and all it takes is one bad circumstance for my child to end up in CPS custody.

Before long, we'll fear ourselves right out of having children just to avoid any type of wrath from any agency. Don't get me wrong, there are many parents out there who abuse their children, and it sickens me as a father to hear a story about another child that died because of abuse, and they deserve to be tossed in the slammer for good. But it the line has to be drawn in the sand and it just isn't happening.

This man's account was a situation where their older son did something REALLY stupid, the baby was in no danger, and now is a victim of a poor system.

07-18-2008, 09:56 PM
Those DHS dumpheads are just out to make a name for themselves instead of trying to do what they were truly deputized for... the well being of families and children. They need to stop going overboard and get their $hit together.

Our legislators are to blame.. they listen to DHS on how to fix DHS. More money and more power.

I've carefully analyzed and thought about the system for awhile.

A very cheap and inexpensive way to fix the system would be to make it a felony for a social worker to lie in any filing or statement made to the court or an officer of the court.

It might sound kind of crazy and I can't explain my reasons, but you just have to understand why they have so much power in the first place. It doesn't violate any law or rule for them to lie. If you don't believe me, look it up for yourself.

07-18-2008, 10:04 PM
Toadrax is right on target about the need for more serious oversight. DHS, in many ways, has always been an out-of-control agency. How many here are old enough (I'm 48) to remember Lloyd Rader? He ran DHS from 1951-1982 with an iron-fist and was considered the most powerful man in state government. It was much the same then, but nobody in the legislature dared buck Lloyd Rader. Actually, truth be told, it wasn't as bad. Rader himself was feared (some said corrupt) but as they say about mayors of questionable tactics - he may be a )&*^ but he makes the trains run on time. Mr. Rader never had trains to keep on schedule, but many things were actually better then. Probably because of the fear.

07-18-2008, 10:09 PM
But if a lawmaker did what was necessary to make DHS accountable.. they would get smeared in the media because DHS would "no longer be able to protect the children!"

That is the biggest problem with America.. when it comes to children all we have are knee-jerk reactions. Suddenly the ends justify the means and you can get whatever you want if it is "for the children".

It is sad because the only way to protect children is to use rational and well thought out policy.

07-19-2008, 02:09 PM
I am a regular OKCTalk poster, but signed up with a new name so I could tell my story in anonymity.

About ten years ago, my partner and I returned from a holiday weekend at the lake with my two young children to a notice from DHS posted on the front door saying we must contact them within 24 hours or they would show up with the police and take custody of my children. To say I was terrified was an understatement! We are educated, professional people and I was sure there was just a mix-up and I could contact the case worker calmly and respectfully and everything would be worked out.

I called him immediately. He screamed, insulted, berated and threatened me - and demanded to come to my home that moment. I called my ex-husband and his wife and they arrived shortly. We are all good friends and the four of us work in partnership as parents to the children. The case worker arrived shortly. He was a pretty big guy. He took one look at my partner and ex-husband - both ex-military, work out daily, rugby kind of fellows - and the case worker had a FIT. He insisted that they all leave the premises immediately and that only I be there for the meeting. I resisted, explaining who they were and that the four of us had been parenting these children together for many years.

The case worker explained that someone had called in a report that I had abandoned the children and they had been locked in the house over the holiday weekend. I couldn't help but laugh. I explained to him that the four of us had been at the lake for days, had dozens of witnesses, plus a camera full of photographic evidence. He did not seem to believe me at all, and had no interest in getting names of people who would corroborate my story.

He went upstairs to interview the children alone. I didn't fear that at all - they are intelligent, well adjusted and friendly little people. I will admit that while he was upstairs, we discussed how to get rid of him, his vehicle, and the quickest way to Mexico! We are good people, but it was painfully obvious that we were guilty until proven innocent and he was ready to take my babies. That was NOT going to happen!

The next day, my partner and I paid for an independent phychological evaluation for the kids by a prominent juvenile psychologist. She wrote up her findings and delivered them to DHS and the case worker. He was FURIOUS and called again to berate, belittle and threaten me on the phone. We were humiliated and terrified.

It so happened, a very good friend of the family was a long time staff member in a local legislator's office. A member of the family contacted her and discussed the situation with her. She knew our family and the children personally. She made ONE PHONE CALL and the whole investigation stopped. The case worker called me one last time, saying he was closing his investigation. He was professional on this call - a complete change from our previous conversations.

I never received another phone call or letter from DHS. I am aware that there still could be a file on us within their system, and that still scares me.

What if I was just a little 5' single mother here alone with that 6' 5" irate case worker? He would have run right over me and I think would probably have taken the children for 'observation'. What if we didn't have the financial resources for the independent psychological evaluation? What if our family had not been well-connected and able to call on the congressional office?

I fear for all those families suffering under false allegations. And I struggle to understand the children that continue to be brutalized because of the inefficiency and poor performance of this organization. But speak up against them? NO WAY. I have too much to lose...

07-19-2008, 03:11 PM
Sorry to hear that

07-19-2008, 03:16 PM
That is a horrible story. So many cases and children go unprotected because of their inadequate monitoring and reporting and just as many parents are probably in similar situations because of overzealous workers.

07-19-2008, 10:42 PM
I think DHS has spent at least a thousand manhours on my brothers case, just fighting in court but they spent less than 30 min investigating the abuse allegation against him. All of that could have been avoided if just one person had actually investigated the case.

If anyone from DHS ever tries to say that they are overworked and don't have enough staff, laugh at them. That is wrong.

DHS has enough money, manpower, and time... they just waste it. I would be willing to bet a lot of money that the majority of their resources are tied up in a small handful of cases they have no business being involved in the first place.

They feel justified being involved in those cases because they are trying to protect a child from an abusive parent, but... if it is so certain that the parent is abusive they should be in jail.

We don't need DHS to protect children. Child abuse is a crime. We can arrest people and send them to prison when they commit crimes. If the abuser is in prison, the child is safe.

What right do they have to say that their actions are justified if they can't prove that a crime was even committed?