soonerfan21
12-06-2007, 09:34 AM
Whoever wrote this rocks!!!
Guys, Congratulations on a great season. You have clearly exceeded all expectations of your fans and the public at large. Breaking into the
rarified air of the elite teams in college football requires some adjustments, however. You obviously need some guidance in this area, so
out of respect for your effort this season I am offering the following 10 rules for you to implement next season:
1. When you lose a game, do not act as though you gave the game away and the other team did not beat you. Accept responsibility for the loss and be a gracious loser. EVERYONE remembers an ungracious loser (see Mack Brown), and it can taint your program for years to come (see Texas).
2) When you believe you were the better team after a loss, do not say so publicly. After all, the goal of the game is to score more points than the opposition. When the other team accomplishes that goal against your team, they probably had something to do with the win. This tends to annoy, if not enrage, the other team, and you never know when or how they might get the chance to extract some revenge. And they WILL extract their revenge.
3) Instruct your QBs to quietly get up off the turf and walk back to the huddle after a tackle, especially a sack. For a QB to get into the face of the other team's star linebacker is just bad judgment and portends a death wish. The guy probably outweighs your QB by 50 pounds and is faster, stronger, and meaner than your QB. And that LB has a license to kill by virtue of playing the position of linebacker.
4) Tell your star receiver not to "diss" the opposing coach regarding his recruitment during the week prior to their game against you. First, there are always two sides to the story. Second, it sounds like you're still upset about your 9th grade girlfriend and how that didn't work out. Move on. You made a choice, now live with it.
5) Tell your QB (and all players) that one responsibility of an elite team is being able to play on television with dignity and respect. Pilfering boogers from the catacombs of one's nose while on national TV is NOT a hallmark of a dignified team.
YouTube - Chase Daniel likes boogers (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEW8_KVhDFE)
6) Although you are entitled to believe that the loss of a player to injury is the reason you lost a game, don't say so publicly until or unless that player shows (preferably in a rematch) that he can make a difference. When a player has a dog of a game in the rematch, it makes you seem disingenuous regarding your initial comments (see Tony Temple).
7) When you have been ranked number 1 in the polls for one game, refrain from running on the field with your index fingers extended. It makes you seem as though you think that everyone agrees. It also makes it clear you've never been in that position before. You remind the television audience of the loser who buys a new Corvette to impress the girls--then promptly wrecks it. Besides, your opposition may have something to say about your ranking, as was demonstrated in vivid clarity last night.
8) Educate your fans on the etiquette of supporting a highly ranked team when playing another highly ranked team that has lost only one game to your team since 1983. Humility is probably a better approach to the game, as opposed to cockiness, in your first 10-win season in decades.
9) Please educate your 6-foot tall QB that he is among the smallest players on the field at all times, so his opinions before, during, and after the game are probably best kept to himself. Otherwise, there are at least 11 guys on the opposing team who will make it their personal mission to separate his helmet (with head inside) from his body, ala Saddam Hussein.
10) Finally, a dose of reality is required. One season of 10 wins does not, by itself, allow you to enter football's elite. I suggest trying to do this a minimum of 3 seasons in 5 years before you start pronouncing yourself an elite program.
Best of luck in future years, kitty cats.
Guys, Congratulations on a great season. You have clearly exceeded all expectations of your fans and the public at large. Breaking into the
rarified air of the elite teams in college football requires some adjustments, however. You obviously need some guidance in this area, so
out of respect for your effort this season I am offering the following 10 rules for you to implement next season:
1. When you lose a game, do not act as though you gave the game away and the other team did not beat you. Accept responsibility for the loss and be a gracious loser. EVERYONE remembers an ungracious loser (see Mack Brown), and it can taint your program for years to come (see Texas).
2) When you believe you were the better team after a loss, do not say so publicly. After all, the goal of the game is to score more points than the opposition. When the other team accomplishes that goal against your team, they probably had something to do with the win. This tends to annoy, if not enrage, the other team, and you never know when or how they might get the chance to extract some revenge. And they WILL extract their revenge.
3) Instruct your QBs to quietly get up off the turf and walk back to the huddle after a tackle, especially a sack. For a QB to get into the face of the other team's star linebacker is just bad judgment and portends a death wish. The guy probably outweighs your QB by 50 pounds and is faster, stronger, and meaner than your QB. And that LB has a license to kill by virtue of playing the position of linebacker.
4) Tell your star receiver not to "diss" the opposing coach regarding his recruitment during the week prior to their game against you. First, there are always two sides to the story. Second, it sounds like you're still upset about your 9th grade girlfriend and how that didn't work out. Move on. You made a choice, now live with it.
5) Tell your QB (and all players) that one responsibility of an elite team is being able to play on television with dignity and respect. Pilfering boogers from the catacombs of one's nose while on national TV is NOT a hallmark of a dignified team.
YouTube - Chase Daniel likes boogers (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEW8_KVhDFE)
6) Although you are entitled to believe that the loss of a player to injury is the reason you lost a game, don't say so publicly until or unless that player shows (preferably in a rematch) that he can make a difference. When a player has a dog of a game in the rematch, it makes you seem disingenuous regarding your initial comments (see Tony Temple).
7) When you have been ranked number 1 in the polls for one game, refrain from running on the field with your index fingers extended. It makes you seem as though you think that everyone agrees. It also makes it clear you've never been in that position before. You remind the television audience of the loser who buys a new Corvette to impress the girls--then promptly wrecks it. Besides, your opposition may have something to say about your ranking, as was demonstrated in vivid clarity last night.
8) Educate your fans on the etiquette of supporting a highly ranked team when playing another highly ranked team that has lost only one game to your team since 1983. Humility is probably a better approach to the game, as opposed to cockiness, in your first 10-win season in decades.
9) Please educate your 6-foot tall QB that he is among the smallest players on the field at all times, so his opinions before, during, and after the game are probably best kept to himself. Otherwise, there are at least 11 guys on the opposing team who will make it their personal mission to separate his helmet (with head inside) from his body, ala Saddam Hussein.
10) Finally, a dose of reality is required. One season of 10 wins does not, by itself, allow you to enter football's elite. I suggest trying to do this a minimum of 3 seasons in 5 years before you start pronouncing yourself an elite program.
Best of luck in future years, kitty cats.