Nearly two years ago an obese woman accused me of being shallow...she basically said I wouldn't give her a chance because she is obese.

Well, that's true. I'm not attracted to obese women, but I disagree that means I'm shallow.

When I asked, "Are you attracted to obese men?" I received an angry silent reply. Because even obese people aren't attracted to obese people...the truth hurts.

So, single men and women,....if ya like blondes, or muscles, or money, or power, does that make you shallow if ya don't second-date the brunette, or the scrawny, or the working-class guy?

Are you a racist if you wont date outside your own race?

What if you don't want to date outside your own religion?

Should political correctness factor into your personal life?

I'd never go out with anybody that can't spell out the words "Are you".

:053:

I'd never go out with anybody that can't spell out the words "Are you".

:053:

Well, I'm sure that'll never be an issue.

Now that you were able to, at least, correctly decipher the thread's title; do you have an opinion on it?

Well, I'm sure that'll never be an issue.

Let's hope not, he's already in deep doo doo with Misty.. this would just take her over the edge...

Nearly two years ago an obese woman accused me of being shallow...she basically said I wouldn't give her a chance because she is obese.

Well, that's true. I'm not attracted to obese women, but I disagree that means I'm shallow.

When I asked, "Are you attracted to obese men?" I received an angry silent reply. Because even obese people aren't attracted to obese people...the truth hurts.

So, single men and women,....if ya like blondes, or muscles, or money, or power, does that make you shallow if ya don't second-date the brunette, or the scrawny, or the working-class guy?

Are you a racist if you wont date outside your own race?

What if you don't want to date outside your own religion?

Should political correctness factor into your personal life?

I say date who makes you happy, and utilize a bit more tact when telling somebody you're just not into them...No matter how bitter they are.

I agree with that; good advice. I'm probably not known for tactfulness...something I should work on.

I'm not single, but I must reply to this topic. Lots of women are attracted to "obese" men. If they weren't there wouldn't be so many large married men!

I'm married to a large man - society would probably classify him as obese, but in my heart and mind, that label doesn't fit, simply because he carries himself well, is always dressed very nicely and wears clothes that bring out the best in him, plus he is well-groomed and smells great all the time! He's always been a big guy - born that way, was a big kid.

It's funny because a few years ago I realized that since I've been married to him (15 years) I'm more attracted to larger men now than I would have been before - Kevin James, for example. (such a cutie).

I find that larger men also tend to be nicer, easier-going, and have a wonderful sense of humor for the most part. Obviously I'm generalizing here, but I think the fact that they are made fun of and deal with people looking at them, often takes down a layer of unnecessary ego that surrounds some thin guys.

Anyway - that's just my 2 cents. I try not to judge a person by their weight, or color, or height, or whatever.

I don't know if shallow is the right word because you are not attracted to someone.

I think if it's there, it's there. And people are attracted to others for all sorts of reasons.

But, hopefully, people won't miss out on a truly great relationship because they can't see past a perceived physical 'flaw'.

We live in such an appearance driven society. I was floored when everyone dissed Brittney Spears for being 'fat'! She just had two kids, she looked great! Yes, she's a mess but she probably worked so hard to get in the shape she was in and people just mercilessly slammed her. No wonder she is so screwed up!

But anyway, so many wonderful beautiful souls are in a body that some might not be attracted to, maybe they don't choose to be in (all sorts of health reasons or disabilities or even age!) or maybe they love the body they have but people just can't see past it.

Some people can't help the way they were born and what a shame that they are passed over because they don't meet the 'beauty' standards of others.

I always wonder about people who are gorgeous beyond belief, get married to someone equally beautiful and then some tragedy happens.. ie, face burned beyond recognition, or flying through a windshield and losing your face and having scars for the rest of your lifetime. I guess that is when you would know the depth of the person's love.

But, people can't help who they feel an attraction for initially, but even if it's not 'immediate butterflies' maybe it's a good thing for people to attempt to get to know the person inside. You never know!

I'm nearly 50 years old. I'm not overweight but... I'M NEARLY FIFTY YEARS OLD! The fact is, the men who are going to be interested in me is relatively narrow and that is fine. Biology is biology. It has been my observation that men are absolutely wild about women - but primarily in a certain narrow range of size and/or shape. You get outside that range, you aren't going to get nearly as much attention. I would tell an obese young woman to lose weight if she wants male attention from your typical man. It is a heck of a lot more likely that she is going to be able to lose weight than most men will be able to reprogram a million years of biology. And why should they? Think about it --- men being attracted to lean women is a lot more "normal" (and healthy) than women hauling around a bunch of extra weight. Why would anyone with a working brain think that men would think obesity is no big deal? And while we're at it - before someone labels men shallow because they don't think the way women do, recall that science has told us repeatedly that men and women aren't stimulated the same way. Men typically are drawn to looks, women to power.

Obese young women - lose weight for your health and (assuming you want a man in your life) because it is flat out more attractive than obesity - and key on the world "ATTRACTive." That is not being shallow. It is realistic. I am absolutely amazed that anyone would think that men are "shallow" just because they are not attracted to a woman who is clearly not healthy and is not taking care of herself. Obesity is one of the biggest health concerns in this country. Men may not be actively "thinking" that obesity is unhealthy but evolution is shouting it in their ear.

BTW - I know many men who dearly love their obese wives. Chances are very good, however, that when they were first attracted to them, their women were considerably smaller or they were thrown together over time with a common interest and got to know and appreciate each other. There is a world of difference between loving an obese woman with whom you have a relationship, and being initially attracted to an obese woman. Like I said, as difficult as it is, it is easier to lose weight than it is to change what amounts to an instinctive sexual response.

Now that I have been on my soapbox, it occurs to me that maybe I should tone up a bit...

Attraction is just that, you either are or you aren't. I think it's good you were honest with her why. If she didn't take the hint and was that persistent that she wanted a reason WHY you wouldn't date her then the truth was the right thing to do followed by a BACK OFF BITCH! I have said to more than one man "back off, you're wearing too much hair gel" and didn't feel the least bit bad about it.

Well...In his defense...You could have caught King Kong in that hairdo.

If you wear a lot of hair gel because you're cool like Static X it's ok. But when you only have an inch or two of hair and I can taste it if I kiss your neck it's not cool. Not cool. And not tasty.

I don't use gel.

Hair wax to pimp my fauxhawk thank you very much.

Fauxhawk? I thought you had a fro.

I'm nearly 50 years old. I'm not overweight but... I'M NEARLY FIFTY YEARS OLD! The fact is, the men who are going to be interested in me is relatively narrow and that is fine. Biology is biology. It has been my observation that men are absolutely wild about women - but primarily in a certain narrow range of size and/or shape. You get outside that range, you aren't going to get nearly as much attention. I would tell an obese young woman to lose weight if she wants male attention from your typical man. It is a heck of a lot more likely that she is going to be able to lose weight than most men will be able to reprogram a million years of biology. And why should they? Think about it --- men being attracted to lean women is a lot more "normal" (and healthy) than women hauling around a bunch of extra weight. Why would anyone with a working brain think that men would think obesity is no big deal? And while we're at it - before someone labels men shallow because they don't think the way women do, recall that science has told us repeatedly that men and women aren't stimulated the same way. Men typically are drawn to looks, women to power.

Obese young women - lose weight for your health and (assuming you want a man in your life) because it is flat out more attractive than obesity - and key on the world "ATTRACTive." That is not being shallow. It is realistic. I am absolutely amazed that anyone would think that men are "shallow" just because they are not attracted to a woman who is clearly not healthy and is not taking care of herself. Obesity is one of the biggest health concerns in this country. Men may not be actively "thinking" that obesity is unhealthy but evolution is shouting it in their ear.

BTW - I know many men who dearly love their obese wives. Chances are very good, however, that when they were first attracted to them, their women were considerably smaller or they were thrown together over time with a common interest and got to know and appreciate each other. There is a world of difference between loving an obese woman with whom you have a relationship, and being initially attracted to an obese woman. Like I said, as difficult as it is, it is easier to lose weight than it is to change what amounts to an instinctive sexual response.

Now that I have been on my soapbox, it occurs to me that maybe I should tone up a bit...

Great response.

I'll say, a middle-aged woman with a middle-aged spread is every bit as attractive to a middle-aged man as a 20yo hardbody is to a 20yo guy. And your wisdom can secure a man in minutes...You ladies know you call the shots...That's why rational fellas minimize their club time .

If you wear a lot of hair gel because you're cool like Static X it's ok. But when you only have an inch or two of hair and I can taste it if I kiss your neck it's not cool. Not cool. And not tasty.


A little les gell, dude....and not on your skin

Dude...Misty was right. I can't really use hair gel.

Doesn't mix well with the fro.

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i199/imawingnut/fro.jpg.

Dude, man ya look xtra cool....never met ya but ya look great

See why I love Oh GAWD y'all? I'm down with his funky vibe. His hair is super cool. Boys-if you want to get the ladies just be more like him.

There are types of personalities that I love.

I perfer heavier men over skinnier men and men of average height over shorter or taller men, therefore the shorter, skinner man will get less time or attention from me even if he has my favorite "personality". It is natural and could be construed as shallowness but its actually biology.

I suppose, to the woman that accused you of being shallow, I would be shallow too. I like muscles..... tone and definition in my man. I am also vain (vein?) because I, myself, care so much about the way that I look that I do not want to be obese. It feels good being shallow and vain (vein)?

There are types of personalities that I love.

I perfer heavier men over skinnier men and men of average height over shorter or taller men, therefore the shorter, skinner man will get less time or attention from me even if he has my favorite "personality". It is natural and could be construed as shallowness but its actually biology.


Ahh...well put.

I don't like obesity but a little something to hold on to is great.