17 yr old daughter wanting to move out:( - Page 2

Midtowner · #26 (**permalink**) 01-11-2005, 12:06 AM

For a potentially college-bound kid, this could be very damaging. Too many kids get out of HS, get their first "real" job, and are content with it. Being content, they are basically condemned to a life of being truly exploited. They are wasting their potential. I'm nowhere close to being a parent, yet if I were, this is one of those times where the parent should certainly put the foot down. The kid will most likely be living in a dorm situation next year in college anyhow. Can they not wait a year to be out on their own?

#27 (**permalink**) 01-11-2005, 09:35 AM

I just want to say a special thank you to everyone who took time to read and reply with all these great ideas. To tell you the truth, I think she has dropped the idea since her car engine just went "boom"... that would mean no way to work or school and she is finding out that mom isn't running out to buy her another car..(this is her 2nd car to blow its engine).

We haven't discussed how to get the car fixed or whether we will try to fix it or her first car..or buy another, yet. She is going snow skiing on Wednesday, which was most of her Christmas present from me, and when she gets back, I imagine we will do the heart-to-heart again. Only this time I will have plenty of answers and questions to use, from all the replies.

Thank you all again and I am grateful to everyone who took time to give me ideas.

Sella

#28 (**permalink**) 01-11-2005, 03:25 PM

You're very welcome

I would make her pay for the save the money for repairs or for a another vehicle. I paid for my first car, paid for the insurance and every single repair the car needed. When the car broke down it stayed parked in the driveway until I had the money for the repairs. The only thing my folks paid for was an occasional loan for gas money.(I was required to pay them back on payday.) I learned the imporant lesson of take care of the car and the car will take care of you. Besides people always take better care of the things they own when they foot the bill themselves.

#29 (**permalink**) 01-11-2005, 05:31 PM

I think oklacity75 is right on the money......making her pay for the car repairs or replacement will teach her responsiblity. Obviously, she wants responsiblity...that's definitely a good way for her to get it. At least she's learning that she needs mother afterall! That's good! I know I treasure my parents, and all that they've done for me over the years! Sure, they made me work for stuff, but they'd done more than I could ever ask!

If you need a good mechanic, let me know. Proactive Volunteer, a regular poster on this forum, owns an auto shop....her and her husband run it! I'm sure she could hook you up!
Send me a PM if you want more information, i.e., her business address, phone number, etc.

#30 (**permalink**) 01-13-2005, 06:40 PM

Sella, I'm thrilled that she won't be leaving home soon. Moving out of the house could've been extremely damaging to her future. Her chances of going to college might've diminished. God allows certain things to happen for a reason, and He probably did that here.

GrandMaMa · #31 (**permalink**) 04-29-2006, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sella35

Okay so my daughter is a senior in HS and has decided with 2 other friends that they are ready to move out. It hurts because she is a 3.75 gpa type kid and I know that if she moves out her grades and any chance at college will go BOOM.....

Any ideas on how I can talk her into staying? She has life good right now. I am not strict but am a concerned parent.

She originally said no she was waiting to move until she graduates. But the other 2 friends do not have a car so she is a ride for them to and from work and school. One has graduated, and one is a junior this year. They are brother and sister and do not have parents to say bad idea.

Anyhoo, I think they are pressuring her because she is the only one with a car and they need to have her live with them for a ride to and from work and school.

Any ideas or thoughts would be appreciated.
Sella

This is GrandMaMa, mother of 4 sons, none would say that I never did my best for them...now..keyword" she is only 17 that is all you have to think about, thank God, you still have control...under NO circumstances should she be moving out at that age..if you are lucky, in the interim, you will somehow strike a rapport with her that will keep her emotionally tied to you until she is emotionally able to make those decisions herself. Don't give any ground, but listen, listen, listen...most important thing. Don't just give her no, give her a positve choice.

Midtowner · #32 (**permalink**) 04-29-2006, 08:43 PM

grandmama -- check the date on the original post. Daughter is now 18, maybe 19.

GrandMaMa · #33 (**permalink**) 04-29-2006, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Midtowner

grandmama -- check the date on the original post. Daughter is now 18, maybe 19.

Thanks, that makes one heck of a lot of difference

#34 (**permalink**) 04-29-2006, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrandMaMa

Thanks, that makes one heck of a lot of difference

That's OK, GrandMaMa....I have done the exact thing myself. I have to remind myself to look at the original date of the post so that I don't make a fool of myself (which I am good at doing).

GrandMaMa · #35 (**permalink**) 04-30-2006, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Keith

That's OK, GrandMaMa....I have done the exact thing myself. I have to remind myself to look at the original date of the post so that I don't make a fool of myself (which I am good at doing).

That makes me feel somewhat better, but it seems like I'm the queen of jumping in with both feet without reading all of the previous posts. I will be more careful from now on...thanks again, Midtowner for clueing me in

#36 (**permalink**) 05-05-2006, 01:31 PM

Maybe Mr. Anderson and Darling Diva need to take their posts private or start another thread. It seems as if they've gotten off the main subject a bit. Just my opinion.

sweetdaisy · #37 (**permalink**) 05-05-2006, 01:34 PM

Very old thread, my4sonsjrbm. One of the participants isn't even with us anymore.

OklaCity_75 · #38 (**permalink**) 06-07-2006, 03:32 PM

Due to the fact this issue has been resolved I have closed the thread.

A general discussion thread on this topic is now open if anyone wants to discuss the issue in general and not in refrence to this thread.

rxis you will find your post here:

http://www.okctalk.com/peanut-butter...thier-own.html

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