I know there are folks in the Singles Lounge who are married, separated, divorced, and never married. But I'd like anyone to respond to this.

How should a couple manage the money that either or both of them bring in?
Should they each have their own checking/savings accounts? Should they only have one?
There own credit cards?
If one earns substantially more than the other, should they be allowed a louder voice in the matters?
Should the lesser earning one pay an equal amount to mutual bills/utilities?
Who should pay the bills?
How would you do it?

Money was an issue in my marriage, but I won't air that laundry. BTW "money" when a marital problem, is an is a term which typically is symbollic of many other deeply rooted problems....it is a symptom and not the problem.

Anyway, I hope to marry again one day, but I'd like to learn a fair resource management strategy, keyword being "fair". I got the short end of the stick last time.

Wel right now its hard to say casue we are separated but when we were together I was the main money maker and what was spent I wanted to know, if something wasn't paid for or got shut off, I went through the roof. But i guess if both are money makers then it should all go together as long as the important things get paid and taken care of should really matter. To me if its a one sided money maker then the one that brought it home should have that control and decision over it.

I think both partners should have an equal "say" whether or not one earns more than the other. When you marry, you enter a partnership...just because one spouse's wages are more, doesn't mean that person should have a bigger vote.

My husband and I put our money together, we pay bills out of that account, so there is no splitting it up. If something was "shut off", then we have equal responsibility in that.

I'm a little confused...if you were the main wage earner and you wanted to know if something was paid, why not just be the one to pay the bills???

No matter the income, I think the money should be pooled together. There should be three accounts. A household account which would be joint, and each should have their own accounts. The individual accounts should be private. Only if the other strongly suspects something funny should their spending be questioned. Each should have their own charge accounts as well.

Here is why. Should the male spouce die, and the wife not have her own credit, it could be very difficult to get her own credit established.

Who should manage the household money? Whomever has the most talent in that area. My mom use to pay the bills, but that was because my dad was building his company.

Investment decisions should be together. I personally am strong in the stock market and cd's, and will be in real estate. Should she not believe in the stock market... Well, we might just have to discuss that one. afterall, I am the son of one of Oklahoma's premier stockbrokers.

Major purchases should be discussed. A house should be mutual. If one does not like the house, then it is not the one to buy.

To make a short story long... It is a partnership.

You nailed it, Mr. Anderson. 3 accounts and separate credit (for just the reasons you state).

Bills being paid was never an issue except when it came to paying a little extra on a debt...the disposable income, saving, etc. I know my situation was handled wrong, I don't want to repeat the same mistake. So I'm trying to get some ideas of how other couples manage to keep it from becoming a problem.

Do the folks in here write down and try to follow a budget? We never did, although I wanted to discuss one badly.

I think that's a great idea....how to manage the mutual account though?

The reconciliation would be together to account for the spending. Whomever was in charge of paying debts would be the primary person to care for that account.

Btw. Individual charge accounts would go to the individual and be their soul responsibility. One charge account would be for the house.

No issues with the individual charge or checking accounts, assume for a moment that one is an irresponsible spender, and month after month the joint account comes up short for the bills and the joint charge card has several disputeable charges on it.....and talking doesn't help.

I started work at age 12 and always worked before the kids were born so I was always independent and used to paying bills and managing money from an early age. When I got married it seemed natural to combine our funds with a joint account.

Since then, we have always had a joint account and I pay all the bills monthly .... in my mind, credit is everything so I always work hard to make sure that the bills are paid on time. I always tell my husband about money issues - but I think both parties should be a part of the handling of money just for the reasons Mr A mentioned.

Not to mention, the stress of it all shouldn't just be on one person.

__________________
" You've Been Thunder Struck ! "

During our early years of marriage we stayed on very strict budget. Over time, as our income increased, it loosened up quite a bit but I still have a set way of handling our finances.
Savings first, bills second, needs next, fun last. We have joint checking and savings accounts.
Each pay day, we take equals amounts of personal spending money out of his check. What he does with his is his business, what I do with mine is my business. We would never consider questioning each other on that.
We have one joint credit card plus I have one credit card in my name only.