Originally Posted by travich

I feel your pain. Every older woman that's good looking that I talk to won't talk to me because I'm younger. They assume I'm immature or irresponsible. Boy are they wrong. I'm working on my MBA and I bought my first house at 19. I guess if they're going to assume the worst in me, I don't want to be with them anyways.

Originally Posted by Leon

I've just read about 20 new posts in here since I last logged on.....Lotsa stuff about men approaching women, how difficult it is, why they wont do it more, etc.

I don't think I saw a single post about one of you ladies approaching a man. Be happy in the fact that you don't have to in order to meet somebody. Be happy knowing that you don't have to be half as concerned that a relationship goes bad because another is waiting just around the corner. Men don't have that luxury. If our relationships fail it could be months or years before we get another chance at ANYTHING.

Next time you go out with your female friends, make a pact, for a learning experience....each of you must approach two men and ask to talk or ask for a dance. And remember, you have a much less chance of getting shot down than we do. Imagine only a favorable outcome one out of five times. Imagine getting snickered at as you walk away. It wont take long to get discouraged.

If you don't want to dance with him, then at least dance with the courage it took to ask you.....It's like opening a door for a lady, but being unappreciative, she opens the next door over for herself.

As for passiveness, we're passive because the vast majority of the time we're unsuccessful, even for a simple conversation. Don't blame the passivity on the men, blame it on the 90% of your gender that has shot them down of which 20 percent have done so rudely.

If I go to a club, I DO NOT approach a woman, any woman, not if she's sitting at a table with friends. I know I wont before I get there, I plan not to. I'm not looking for a dance, I'm looking for someone to have lunch with one day the following week. If there's occassion to say hi to one while shooting pool or standing in line for a drink I will....there's seldom rejection there. But I will certainly never ask a woman to dance because if the answer's "no", then 100 people just saw you get shot down. And believe me they're watching and that's humiliating. We're not afraid of the word 'no'. we're afraid of the humiliation that comes with it. Besides, if she's at a table with friends, then at best you're interrupting a conversation to go there. Some say no because they don't want their friends to be left out.

Now, you ladies mentioned, they ask you to dance mainly because they want to get in your pants, us guys have repeatedly told you that's not always true. If you ladies can be strong enough to ask five guys to dance, guess what reputation you will have....."She wants to get laid."

No matter who asks who, the asker will be perceived as a desperate, horny, dog while the askee gets 100% of the power and a very slim chance of looking bad, desperate, or otherwise.

Please, go see how nerve-racking it is.

Now, I'd be happy to meet any of you at Hudson's on 240 for a beer tonight, maximum three beers then call it a night. No phone number, no feeling up, no kissing, just talk an hour and leave. Now, who could say "no" to that?

Originally Posted by Spookytourchick

In the mean time what are you doing to build up your esteem?
I give you kudos for actually approaching women! Perhaps the women here in OKC are so accustomed to losers only approaching them that they have thier gaurd up?

Personally if a woman tells you "no" when you simply ask her to dance, thats RUDE and you should be lucky she said no, because she is not a decent person in the first place.
If any guy asks me to dance, I accept, no matter what he looks like. If they ask me nice, I will dance. Unless I just go there and sat down of course.
On the other hand a friend of mine doesnt like to dance much at all, so she will invite the guy to sit down and chat... and ya know what? most of them dont why is that?

What kinds of places do you go to Mr. Anderson?

Originally Posted by Spookytourchick

Next time you in a location and a girl smiles at you and your not in a retail store and she has a name tag on, APPROACH HER. Dont be passive.

Originally Posted by Leon

You're alright, every older woman I meet wont talk either, kids or not. I think I'm a bit to casual for them. They're looking for someone who 'appears' to be a provider. I'm a jeans and tennis shoe guy with a white collar salary looking for a jeans and tennis shoe woman. Accept that Travich for your own good....if they learn your salary, thel'll be a bigger BS'er than the mackiest of mac-daddies. You'll never trust another word they say. Never disclose your profession the first night. If they ask, just say it's a techincal field or something like "I'm in aviation."
On the flip side, buy a t-shirt that says, "My salary is $XXX,XXX" They'll pay attention then.

Originally Posted by okcgoddess

My two cents for what its worth........ I am not the typical woman that you guys are describing. However, I think it is all in your approach. If a guy was to approach me and ask how I was doing and start up a casual conversation then I would speak with them. I don't want a guy walking up to me and giving me a cheesy pick up line. That always makes it seem like they just want to get in my pants. But if they want to have a conversation then I will talk with anyone. I haven't been seperated long to be an expert on this but I know I will talk to a nice guy for a friendship and not just shoot him down. If I guy looks desperate and makes me feel uneasy I will turn away and run!

I fit your description as being the 24 year old halter top girl but I don't fit the personality or type of person you are describing. I like to look nice when I go out and have a fun time. Bottom line if a man approached me no matter what age or how he looked I would have a friendly conversation and then go from there. I am probably to "passive" or "shy" most of the time to do the approaching.

Originally Posted by okcgoddess

My two cents for what its worth........ I am not the typical woman that you guys are describing. .

Originally Posted by Spookytourchick

So in other words we all suck?

Originally Posted by okcgoddess

My two cents for what its worth........ I am not the typical woman that you guys are describing. However, I think it is all in your approach. If a guy was to approach me and ask how I was doing and start up a casual conversation then I would speak with them. I don't want a guy walking up to me and giving me a cheesy pick up line. That always makes it seem like they just want to get in my pants. But if they want to have a conversation then I will talk with anyone. I haven't been seperated long to be an expert on this but I know I will talk to a nice guy for a friendship and not just shoot him down. If I guy looks desperate and makes me feel uneasy I will turn away and run!

I fit your description as being the 24 year old halter top girl but I don't fit the personality or type of person you are describing. I like to look nice when I go out and have a fun time. Bottom line if a man approached me no matter what age or how he looked I would have a friendly conversation and then go from there. I am probably to "passive" or "shy" most of the time to do the approaching.

Originally Posted by okcgoddess

I wish everyone could have a laid back attitude instead of being uptight and on the guard. But then again I am no expert by far on relationships and dating.

Originally Posted by dirtrider73068

and not on guard whatever that means.

Originally Posted by Spookytourchick

You are not doomed... if you have had relationships in the past, there is proof right there that you are not "doomed". You cant meet friends? Do you get out much?