Leon, I am sorry you feel this is a scam. But it is very far from that. I can not say anymore than I already have about why I had 2 single friends help out.

Thanks Karried, you are very right I would never "plant" someone. I have canceled a few events because I did not have enough people to attend. If I wanted to just get money I would hold all the events and not care if people actually meet someone.

Angelice, I'm sorry if this has become a little bit of a slam on your events. Like I said in my last post, previously when I'd experienced people being friends of the coordinator, those individuals were interested in being there. I don't know what the deal was with the couple events I've attended here. BTW, good for you for canceling events if you didn't have enough people! I'm sure you hated to do it, but you did the right thing.

I've always had a good time going to the speed dating events, but if you're not a very outgoing person who can talk to complete strangers, I would not recommend it.

Why dont dating services offer some type of "mixers"? Where you can get a lot of singles in one area to mix and mingle?

Im a very busy person, but I have more time than 8 min to talk to people, I will make time. If you cant spare a little time in your life for that potential special someone, then I personally think your not at a position to be dating. I just dont believe in the first impression thing, yeah, im scorned, most of my "great 1st impressions" were not what I thought them to be.

It's not a problem sweetdaisy. Of course friends of mine are going to attend some of my events. They are single and just like the rest of us are having trouble meeting other singles. I stand by pre-dating and enjoy holding the events. Your right I do not like cancelling my events, when I do not hold events I do not get paid. But if I hold events and people did not enjoy them, the likely hood of them going and telling their friends about it is slim. And since pre-dating is 90% word of mouth, I try my best to hold very good events.
Spookytourchick stated " but I have more time than 8 min to talk to people, I will make time", which is very true, but the one thing about speed dating is your a getting to talk to 8 to 15 different men, with the possiblity of matching with a few and getting more dates that last longer than 8 minutes. We do need some kind of mixers around here for single people of all ages. I know that pre-dating does lock and key parties which sound like fun. I have never hosted one, but I could check into it and see what all is involved. I know the basics of it, men get keys and women get lockets. Basically you are trying to find who has the matching set. You are forced to mingle with almost everyone there. After you find the set that matches you get another and start the process again.

That sounds fun!

Angelice, I think it is a great service you are offering. It must be very scary and a little daunting to go out and talk with strangers, but at least there, you know everyone is single and you just might meet someone that you want to get to know and can spend more time with. (Angelice, I PM'd (emailed) you regarding your photo).

Spookytourchick, what name did you post your photo under in the Photo gallery?

__________________
" You've Been Thunder Struck ! "

Angelice, I sincerely apologize if I discredited you. I was planning hard to attend one, but it came as a complete shock to learn that was a possibilty. I'm sorry.

Its okay, just be assured that the events are not rigged and I can assure you that the events for 36 to 49 I never have to get women for. Those events are very popular for that age group.

I think single people in general expect too much when they are searching for that special someone.

I think the way people should approach a first date, blind date, personals or speed dating is like this. You should just have the frame of mind of "I'm just going to meet a new friend."

Then during the date you can ask the question " Do I like this person enough to keep spending time with them?"

The very most someone should expect from a first encounter is a pleasant night out.

My expectations are basically:

I am attracted to them?

Does this person appear to be someone I can trust?

Are they showing a genuine interest in me?

Are they having a good time?

Do they have a support system in place? (financially, emotionaly and socially)

The rest will fall into place if a relationship is established. I do not like to place unreasonable expectations on anyone especially when dating.

I have no issue with a woman that has kids. I am 30 and I live in Oklahoma. At least 70% of the single women my age or close to are divorced with kids or have had kids out of wedlock.

My issue I have found is the women who have kids and do not want anymore.

How does any woman with kids expect a man with no kids to not want to have any of his own. I don't expect for a woman to have five more by me. I would just like to have one or two of my own. Especially when I am the last male in my family to pass on the family name.

If someone wants that type of expectaion, fine. However, if either one decides not to pursue it, then tell them honestly why. And do not just say "I don't feel the chemestry," or "I'm just not attracted to you." Give them the reason. It may just help them in the future.

mranderson, sometimes not having chemistry or attraction IS the reason not to pursue the relationship. I'm not going to make up something...if I'm not attracted, then I say so. That's reason enough.

"My issue I have found is the women who have kids and do not want anymore.

How does any woman with kids expect a man with no kids to not want to have any of his own. I don't expect for a woman to have five more by me. I would just like to have one or two of my own. Especially when I am the last male in my family to pass on the family name."

Women experience the same thing, btw. I'm 32 with no kids, but I really want at least one. It's very tough to find men my age who want to have children, especially since they already have teenagers. Never mind the fact that people think there's something "wrong" with me since I don't have kids yet.

I am sorry. I will never accept that. I do not understand this "chemistry" crap anyway. What IS that when it comes to relationships, anyway.

Amen, women think there is a problem with me because I have never been married, nor do I have any kids. I have just not met the right woman yet, thats all.

Is it possible that you just haven't had the right "chemistry" with someone yet?

Um...your in for it now woman. You now owe me dinner, LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good, 36 to 49........I'm dead center there.

Agreed 100%. Very difficult with the opposite sex though, especially when you're hoping for more than a 'friend'.

Mariner, you should be happy that you haven't been married or had kids with the 'wrong' woman.. sheesh, that's a good thing!

And I agree, chemistry has to be there but I guess it is how you define chemistry.... I have met some of the most attractive men who are boring as all hell, and some 'average' men who really peak my interest.. but then again even finding someone attractive is objective - what is beautiful to one person may not be to someone else.

I agree with Okla75 100% - Once you go into anything with higher than normal expectations it can only backfire when what you hope to happen doesn't materialize. Just make the best of every situation and choose to have a good attitude.... sounds easy enough :-) I know it's not but you have to try anyway - life happens - you can only control your attitude towards what happens, not the events.

I've read almost all of your posts and you all seem extremely nice, caring and loving people on this board - there is no reason why someone out there will not be lucky to have you... no losers here, you are just preparing for the next phase of your lives more experienced and more ready to give and receive love...

__________________
" You've Been Thunder Struck ! "

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leon Agreed 100%. Very difficult with the opposite sex though, especially when you're hoping for more than a 'friend'.

Hoping for more a friend is the wrong thing to do when dating.

First of all you cannot make someone love you. The only thing you can do is be open to accept the love a person is willing to give. You have to let things happen naturally.

Do you think you could really trust a person that says I love you after only knowing you 10 seconds, 10 hours or even 10 days. If someone told me they loved me and wanted to be with me without getting to know me, I would think they had attachement issues or they were lying. You can't truly love someone without spending quality time with them and getting to know them. Quality time means you take things day by day, be paitent and let fate do the work.