1. Never take a beer to an interview.

2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting them.

3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.

4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.

5. Even if you're certain that you're included in the will, it's rude
to drive a U-haul to the funeral.


Dining Out

1. When decanting the wine from the box, make sure you tilt the paper
cup and pour slowly so as not to 'bruise' the fruit of the wine.

2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your
hands.


Entertaining in your home

1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a
taxidermist.

2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his
manners.


Personal Hygiene

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this job should be done in
private using one's own truck keys.

2. Even if you live alone, deodorant is not a waste of money.

3. Use of proper toiletries can only delay bathing for a few days.

4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they
tend to distract from a woman's jewelry, and alter the taste of
finger foods.


Dating (outside the family)

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first
date.

2. Be assertive, Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to
go out with you ever since I read that stuff on the bathroom walls two
years ago."

3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some
will say 10:00 PM. Others might say "Monday," If the latter is the
answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

Theater Etiquette

1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up
immediately after the movie has ended.

2. Refrain from talking to the characters on the screen.. Tests have
proven that they can't hear you.


Weddings

1. Livestock, usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift.

2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds might get you shot.

3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a
cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.

4. Though uncomfortable, say 'yes' to socks and shoes for this special
occasion.


Driving Etiquette

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is
loaded and the deer is in sight.

2. When approaching a four way stop, the vehicle with the largest
tires does not always have the right of way.

3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.

4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite
to ask her to bring back beer too.

5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral possession

LOL, those are bad!!

What's bad is for someone in this world, they could hit close to home

1. Never take a beer to an interview- Reminds me of the guy who went to court drunk for a DUI charge...tsskk

Sella

Dumb Oklahoma Laws

Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.
Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.
Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another's hamburger.
It is against the law to read a comic book while operating a motor vehicle.
Whaling is illegal.
It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.
Residents are taxed for the furniture in their homes, and any other personal belongings. (Repealed 1998)
People who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.
Cars must be tethered outside of public buildings. (Repealed)
Anyone arrested for soliciting a hooker must have their name and picture shown on television.
Tattoos are banned.
No one may spit on a sidewalk.
It is illegal to wear your boots to bed.
Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus.
Tissues are not to be found in the back of one's car.

Ada
If you wear New York Jets clothing, you may be put in jail.

Clinton
Molesting an automobile is illegal.

Hawthahorne
It is unlawful to put any hypnotized person in a display window.

Oklahoma City
No one may walk backwards downtown while eating a hamburger.

Schulter
Women may not gamble in the nude, in lingerie, or while wearing a towel.

Tulsa
You may not open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer.
Elephants are not to be taken into the downtown area.

Wynona
One's mode of transportation must be tied up while not attended.
Mules may not drink out of bird baths.
Clothes may not be washed in bird baths.

Yukon
It is illegal to tie a horse in front of city hall.
While passing another vehicle, you must honk your horn.

I'm on my way downtown right now to eat a hamburger while walking backwards!!!!

Keith, you're in law enforcement -- have you ever had the chance to cite someone with one of these offenses?

LOL, pretty risky stuff there Floating_Adrift!!
I say, "Go for it!!"
I might even try doing that this weekend..just for a little danger and excitement....Of course, I would be looking out for Keith with every backward step I take.

Sella

Well if you see me down there walking backwards eating my burger - don't take a bite out of mine because Oklahoma will not tolerate that!!

Oh...and don't get caught doing your hair while your doing the hamburger thing, they may just lock you up and toss out the key!

I might sneak out Saturday nite and go whaling too...anyone wanna join in? muwahahahaha!

mmmmmm, just thinking about biting your burger is making me drool!! LOL