Criminally Stupid

Criminally STUPID
HE DOESN'T KNOW JACK

A carjacker upset by his noisy neighbors in Bonita Springs, Fla., drove to the sheriff's office in a car he had recently carjacked to report the disturbance.
JUST HANGING OUT

A man entered a sandwich shop in Hendersonville, N.C., wearing a mask over his face and a pair of very baggy pants. When he tried to get to the cash register, he fell over a counter, then ran out of the restaurant empty-handed. Then, as he tried to climb over a fence, his baggy pants got caught on a fence post, leaving him hanging upside down until the police arrived and unsnagged him.
THEY'LL NEVER TAKE AWAY MY FREEDUMB

A Romanian man who spent 11 years in his basement trying to avoid an eight-year jail sentence has been arrested. The man, 31, said, "I hid under the house and went out only a few times for food supplies."
IDIOT of the week

In Lowell, Mass., police asked a man being arrested for driving without a license if there was anything he wanted to take with him to the station, at which point he went to the trunk of his car to retrieve a bag of marijuana.

SO LONG, SUCKERS!

A man in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, pulled the pin on a hand grenade and used it to demand pills from a drug dealer. He was given the drugs, then quickly put the grenade in his pocket and headed outside toward his motorcycle but never made it. He forgot to put the pin back into the grenade.
WE'LL TAKE THAT AS A "NO"

In Ashland, Mass., two 20-year-olds walking past a home where a police department party was being held walked up to the door, produced an array of drugs and asked the hosts if anyone there "wanted to get high."
OK, MAYBE WE BOTH HAVE A POINT

Two men stabbed each other in Pomona, Calif., in an argument over which of their two alcoholic beverages tasted better.