new student

Hi, OKC
I am asking all parents that have had their children in the same I.S.D. all through their childhood in another state, and then moved during their teens due to a job relocation. answer this for me.
Did your teen have a hard time to relocate? did they become the kid that got picked on or the cool kid? Did they become the the outsider and could not make any friends at all?
I know now that my teens are on track in school, and have many friends that they will miss. My kids are into their school work now. I have 2 fears 1 they will get around the wrong kind of kids just to fit in or they will not join the same clubs that they are into now.
As a parent that is always in the know, as I call it, how would I fit in? Would we stand out if we wanted to keep are traditions of having lunch with are sons on wednesday's?
My teens will be going to OK. schools next schools school yr.. i have a lot of fears and if you can help me i need it, thank you.

[bandnerd]

I'm not a parent, but I am a teacher in OKC. We recently had a student move in from Rochester, NY and he seems to be doing just fine with the kids in my school...however, my little charter school is a fairly accepting place. Not all schools will be like that. If you move to Edmond, their schools are VERY large and your children will more than likely find someone to hang out with. If they have friends back home, then they will make friends here. Most schools up here will probably have clubs/organizations that are very comparable to what you have back home, especially the larger schools. They literally have something for everyone.

As for having lunch with your kids during the week...that's going to be something the principal will have to decide on, especially if it's off-campus lunch. Some schools have off-campus, some don't. My high school did...but then again it was a very little town and we didn't have to go very far! The school where I teach is strictly on-campus. Either you bring your lunch or eat cafeteria food. Parents will sometimes bring fast food or pizza for their kids and that's okay, too.

I think your fears will be quieted once you move up here. Most kids do pretty well here. Even outcasts like me turn out all right

[Karried]

We moved when my son was in 5th grade.. he did well. What helped a bit was that we had the summer before school started to meet people. I would encourage you to seek out other people in the neighborhood and try to make friends. Sports, or clubs, church etc can help them meet people before they start school.

My son is in Junior High and he is pretty shy but he is happy and I pick him up every day and see him hanging out with friends. I ask him questions and try to gauge how he is doing at school. We concentrate on grades... he is very aware that there are groups and cliques and I try to emphasize that what makes a kid popular ( and still feel good about himself) in Junior high is being nice to everyone, not just the 'cool' kids, say hi, smile and don't be mean or join in on the bullying of others.

Find some friends that you have something in common with and hang out with them. Be accepting of others and don't pick on people.. let the teachers or principal know if you are being picked on etc etc..

I tell him constantly that these same people that seem so cool now are just as insecure as everyone else.. and more importantly, they usually end up losers as adults.. because they get by on superficial social skills.. the pretty cheerleader doesn't have a brain in her head and most likely won't develop a personality or sense of humor.. yes, there are exceptions but these are some of the things I tell him so that he can understand that the so called 'cool' popular kids aren't really all that cool.

Anyway, it's hard - I don't think my son would want me to have lunch at his school though,... he's very conscious of being embarassed and if it is something that will make him stand out as different - he wants nothing to do with it. But, if it works for your family - why not?

[bandnerd]

Originally Posted by Karried

I tell him constantly that these same people that seem so cool now are just as insecure as everyone else.. and more importantly, they usually end up losers as adults.. because they get by on superficial social skills.. the pretty cheerleader doesn't have a brain in her head and most likely won't develop a personality or sense of humor.. yes, there are exceptions but these are some of the things I tell him so that he can understand that the so called 'cool' popular kids aren't really all that cool.

Bold statement there, Karried. I'm going to have to say I disagree. Making a blanket statement like "all cheerleaders grow up to be losers except for a few" is more than a little wrong. Yes, there will always be those blonde bimbos who picked on the less cool kids...but most of them are really okay people who do well in life. I've known quite a few cheerleaders who have grown up to do well for themselves, and I can say that the cheerleaders where I am teaching are sweet, sweet girls who do well in class and are very pleasant to be around. I see them definitely making something of themselves in the future. Even the girls at the inner-city type school I taught at last year, for the most part, had good heads on their shoulders and were very involved in church and other nicer organizations.

[Karried]

Yeah that's fair.. let me explain a bit more how this came to be a few months ago..

I pick up a beautiful girl ( academic, band.. so sweet) everyday with my son ( we carpool) and a very academic kid who is very smart but not very cool in his mind - none of these three think they are in the cool popular groups.

I heard them talking about lunch one day..the teachers made all the kids sit at different lunch tables to experience different cliques and to meet other people. One of the 'cheerleaders' sat at the table of the girl I pick up... she is pretty but very mean spirited and catty - very ugly on the inside.

She sat at the table and whined and complained the entire time about how 'they couldn't force her to be friends' with people (losers) just because they changed tables on and on...

So this is how the comments I made came about - after picking up three very intelligent, wonderful kids and hearing how this little 'brat' told them they were losers because she is a cheerleader and popular.

Like I mentioned, there are exceptions but my point was that just because you are cute and popular in junior high doesn't always carry over into the real world - brainiacs and 'nerds' turn out to be well rounded intelligent, good people who tend to make bucks ... cheerleaders who only focus on their external beauty and don't try to develop a personality most likely end up not very happy in life - beauty only lasts so long..

Anyway, that's the gist of my point.. not to stereotype every cheerleader, but to teach my kids focus more on inner beauty and character instead of trying to be cool at the expense of others.