I started smoking back in June of '05 when I couldn't be given any more Ativan, because of overdose history. I needed something to help me relax, to get thru, so I started smoking. I know, it is bad and poor decision, but it just happened.

At first, it was a carton a month, then it gone to 4 cartons (plus few packs more) a month. Now, it kinda went down, but still a pack and half a day, sometime less.

I grew up hating the cigz and dad was heavily smoking for years. Now, look at me, I'm smoking, so is my brother. We want to quit, but finds it hard and our jobs is stressful.

The longest I've gone without smoking was about two weeks. I still do try to quit. Sometimes it is easy to quit and then I start smoking again. Sometimes it is hard to quit after a few hours.

I did try the patches. It helped me greatly, but it had an effect that was quite scary. When I started on it, my dreams was so vivid and dangerous. I stopped using it.

Another reason of not being able to quit is no solid support. I don't have anyone there for me to get thru whatever happens, so I turn to cigz.

Yeah, I'm stupid for even starting smoking and still an idiot for buying more and more. One day, I will quit.