Chef, no disrespect meant.
From a bystander perspective - providing a multi-day update on some many points and savoring delivery of that many details is not moving on, at least not very far and not very fast. you're on hold Chef, your own words scream out that if she is coming around - "it better not be for at least 2 months."

There's a saying that when you jump off the bus, it is the bus that pulls away.

Yet it's also true that buses run the same route every day and you can sit and wait and jump back on later.

If you're ready to consider alternative modes of transport so to speak, please do yourself a huge favor and stand up, dust that bus stop bench dust off your shorts, and take a stroll, preferably at a 90 degree angle to the regular path of the bus.

Luck to you. Oh, and how's the dog stand coming?